Monday, March 01, 2010

I Think Fernando Is Back

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(The Hubs and I make pretty cute babies, I know. Weird genetic fluke.)

I love this picture. He's so adorable and pink and delicious in that picture, but that is not my favorite thing about it.

My favorite thing about this picture is that it's a PICTURE and that he is MUTE.


Remember how after he was born he would scream and scream and scream and scream?




Here is what I get to listen to ALL. DAY. LONG:

He makes this noise CONSTANTLY.

He is not hungry.

He is not tired.

He is not wet.

There are no tears in his eyes.

He is just EXTREMELY FOND of hearing his own voice.

OH, bonus! Here's one with growling:

(And for the record, after quite a bit of growling and fussing and acting like he was starving to death he would not eat ONE BIT OF HIS FOOD, but instead decided that the thought of eating was DISGUSTING TO HIM, IT WAS DISGUSTING, HOW DARE YOU ATTEMPT TO FEED FERNANDO GREEN BEANS?!! I DEMAND APPLESAUCE! Squawk squawk peevish squawk!)

I'm starting to think he is... ...a little bit spoiled.

I blame this ENTIRELY on the children, because I can't put him down for even a second without one of the kids swooping in to rescue him from his hellish life of Playing On A Blanket With A Toy.

What I say: "Don't pick him up. He's changed, fed and happy - let him play."

What Megan hears: "The baby will die of a broken heart unless I pick him up in 3.5 seconds."

What I say: "GUYS. FOR THE LOVE. Leave him be. He's content. He needs to practice sitting. DO NOT PICK HIM UP."

What Emma hears: "Pick up your brother and play rocketship with him. HURRY before he is completely traumatized by all of the sitting."

What I say: "I want to get the noises the baby is making on tape, EVERYONE LEAVE HIM ALONE for a second so I can get him in his natural state."

What Jake hears: "Surely five seconds is far too long for a baby to be left to his own devices. I MUST PROVIDE HIM WITH ENTERTAINMENT IMMEDIATELY."

And what is the result? A baby who is COMPLETELY INCAPABLE of entertaining himself for even ten second increments.

The baby is kind of a little con artist already, which makes me wonder what exactly we are in for in over the next few years.

"What, you want me to play by myself down here? Seriously?"

"What if I make the sad face? Will someone pick me up if I make the sad face? No?"

(heaven help us)

PS: (Don't even get me started on his nightly 3AM social hour. After he's eaten and back in his crib, he likes to stay up for a good 45 minutes, yelling joyfully and squealing. "HELLOOO? MOTHER?? I'M JUST CHECKING IN TO SEE IF YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD EVENING? HELLOOO? FATHER? FATHER? PERHAPS IT IS TIME FOR SOME BABY NINJA WRESTLING? YES? NO? HELLOOO?")

PPS: Did I mention that this Friday's giveaway, among other things, will include tickets to A CERTAIN EVENT that some of you might want to attend, with the intials C. B. and C.?  Did I mention that?  BECAUSE IT WILL. Wheeee!

PPPS: My friend Kristina is doing something pretty awesome this month. Go check it out.


  1. I'm sure it would be a lot easier to get mad at the little squirt if he weren't so darn cute. Of course, cuteness probably doesn't help him much at 3 A.M. There is nothing endearing about being woken up at that ungodly hour. By anything. Ever.

  2. People used to warn me not to spoil my youngest.

    Now I know the exact thing you've explain here--that it's not the parents doing the spoiling--it's the OLDER SIBLINGS WHO WON'T LET THINGS BE!

    I swear, my youngest is 7 and a freaking 1/2 and gets treated like she's 2 by her older siblings. And then, of course, she expects the same treatment from Mom and Dad. Not happening, babe.

    (Makes for some fun whining.)

  3. oh geez. that's how my first kid was and it drove me nuts. all my own doing, of course, because there were no little kids around picking him up--no no, that was ME doing all the swooping and rescuing from the hellish sitting with a toy. i've learned my lesson. baby #3 is sitting by himself all day long if it kills me. oh, i mean herself. forgot it was a girl for a second.

  4. You surely can't be talking about that angel...

  5. I think it sounds like he's singing.
    I had one that growled, like that until he was 18 months old.
    He is extrememly adorable!

  6. You know what I heard?

    My Boy was EXTREMELY verbal. And then he started talking in full paragraphs by 12 months. And then he never ever stopped and my ears fell off, the end.

  7. Well, can you blame him! Who wouldn't want to pick him up and squish his cheeks all day?

    And thank you so much for the shout out. Old people will love you.

  8. I'm telling you: ear plugs are the key to sanity.

    Nevertheless, he is delicious; he's delightful; he's delectable.

  9. Did I forget de-lovely?

  10. Oh. My. He is adorable (I know hinty-billion other commenters are going to say the same thing but I'm saying it anyway).

    And Claira is so much the same. With the constant noise making, and spoiling older siblings. The girls really, really wants to talk too. It's hilarious and adorable and sometimes maddening.

    Saturday, she didn't nap for more than ten minutes at a time all day. When she finally went to sleep I couldn't even bear to watch tv because my ears were just DONE.

  11. So cute. I love how the siblings want to play with him all the time. Makes me want to have more babies soon!

  12. Ah the youngest child has it so hard. The latest to walk (because he is carried everywhere, the latest to talk (because all he has to do is point) and first to be called "spoiled."
    He knows what he's doing. Simply adorable.

  13. And here I thought you were going to have real screaming, not happy screaming. I love the happy screams. Even at 3am when I'm waiting for SP to put herself back to sleep, the happy screams and coos make me smile. The crying screams are another story.

    And how is it that your baby is younger than mine, but he's sitting on his own so perfectly and mine is nowhere close to that?

  14. Abby - he does all kinds - the happy, the not-happy, the sort-of-happy-but-why-not-continue-to-yell-anyway...

    He doesn't sit perfectly at all - he's constantly falling over onto his face. But he's getting there.

  15. What the hell have I gotten myself into??

    I'm not ready to have another baby demanding my attention. No.

  16. Oh my goodness! He is the cutest baby! I just want to squeeze him and kiss those cheeks. I would not help the situation because I would be just like the other kids wanting to hold him and play with him.
    But I do understand that it can be really hard and draining when you have a child that needs attention or to be held all the time. (Mine is just named Ashley not Fernando) :)

  17. I'd FORGOTTEN about all of this. Wow. How NICE to hear it in retrospect. And such short bursts!!

  18. My youngest brother was spoiled, too. :) With 5 older siblings to entertain him, he was never left alone.

    I think he is the most well-adjusted grownup out of all of us kids. LOL.

    And if he likes hearing the sound of his voice now, wait until he can talk. Then NOBODY will get a word in edgewise.

  19. Best line: "I blame this ENTIRELY on the children, because I can't put him down for even a second without one of the kids swooping in to rescue him from his hellish life of Playing On A Blanket With A Toy."

    I only wish my life were so hellish.

  20. Your blog is the only blog I read lately where I seriously laugh. out. loud! And all my kids come running wondering why Mom is laughing instead of crying or yelling all the time. I have a 6 month old who is doing the exact same thing...but in girl form...we should get them together some day!

  21. My three year old wanted me to play the videos of him yelling over and over and over. And over. and now he is going to yell some too. Hooray! Yelling for everyone!

  22. My third? Like that totally. Yelled, talked, screamed, cried CONSTANTLY! I will never forget that noisy unhappy baby as long as I live.

    He has grown into a very lovely young man. Quiet and reserved. Not needy or whiny in any way. Has never ever given me a minutes trouble, ever.

    There is hope my sister, if you/he live long enough.

  23. Pretty sure he's got the family figured out and loving every minute of it. He knows he is just too darn cute for all to resist. I'd probably take advantage of that too. Maybe if I get all cute and wrinkly, put on a diaper and cry (sing-yell) like Fernando, my husband will cater to me too. Hmm.... I'd probably end up in a nursing home.

  24. Oh my goodness, you left a comment on my blog today and no joke, I was just blog stalking you THIS MORNING from mmb.

    That. Is. Crazy.

    Anyway, I loved this post although it made me secretly wish that Logan had older siblings to pick him up and play with him. He's getting tired of me tickling him with my foot while I peruse the internet.

    Um, what? That would never happen.

  25. My baby growls, too. People think I'm exaggerating. Just ask the poor little old lady in the grocery store that paused to coo at Baby, only to be growled at in earnest. Yeah...she pushed her cart away rather speedy for someone on oxygen.

  26. WHY do babies t hink they need a 3:00 a.m. social hour. Is it teen preparation for the "all nighters"
    he is dang cute for sure

    OK, so the give away for the even t called c b and c.......would that happen to include a plane ticket, since I am stuck up here in the Great White North???????????

    suck-a-roo, I'd love to be there

  27. Okay, so your blog is a new-to-me blog via Green Jello and I'm so glad she name dropped you! I love it over here. And as far as 3:00 am social hours? Oh I've been there too. It's sort of a rite of passage as a parent, right? Another parental wake up call for me was the first time I caught myself handing out the ever-so-popular, "I'm the mommy, that's why!" The first time I pulled that one out I clasped my hands to my mouth and ran down the hall screaming to check myself out in the mirror just to make sure the total transformation into my mother hadn't taken place yet!

  28. I can't think of a better place to post porn links than on a story about a cute baby.

    (rolls eyes)

  29. Time to break out the spam filter I guess.

  30. Oh....wait till there are words involved! And for the oldest cried for 1 1/2 years. True. Story.

  31. Oh how I feel your pain!! But here's the kicker, the screeching, screaming, fussy 24/7 little tyrant isn't even mine!! No, he belongs to a good friend of mine and I watch him during the day. You know, when he's wide eyed, bushy tailed, and mad as heck about who knows what!! Some times I find myself tempted to bash my head against a wall, you know, just to have a little fun in my day. Thankfully, my 16 month old isn't too demanding (insert hysterical laughter here) so it's usually managable. But seriously, if you find some trick to deal with this, please let me know. Before my brain breaks from all the crying.

    I'd be willing to send video proof.

    Cause he just started screeching again.

    You know, cause the wind blew or something.


  32. Anonymous9:38 AM

    I see your noise. and I raise you one baby whose scream is so high pitched the dogs in the neighborhood cry when he does.
    Okay, maybe the dogs don't cry, but he does make the inside of your head vibrate when he reaches a certain pitch.

  33. can I please eat his cheeks! PLEASE!!!! You should totally make his babble into a ring tone!

  34. I'm pretty sure Fernando has you all figured out. He has wrapped you around his slobbery little finger and he's NOT letting go. My goodness he is seriously CUTE!

  35. Anonymous11:58 AM

    And maybe you should move his crib to the basement.

  36. My ovaries are with Beck. (Only, not really because they are here, inside me and no longer functioning in the baby making mode.) (But if they could, they would scream for another baby. And it would drown out poor little Fernando. Who is so cute that I am amazed you haven't eaten him yet.)

  37. See, I think he's adorable. I just tweeted your post and you know how I feel about Twitter.

    And now you have in-depth knowledge of my ovaries, too.

  38. You made me broody. And I'm 48. Please stop this. We have a nice three piece suite now and can't afford to have anyone be sick on it.

  39. Now I'm baby hungry! :)
    And I got a little excited to hear about your giveaway on Friday, but I couldn't figure out how the initials C.B. and C. worked into the title "The Lion King"...

    Regardless, it's still an exciting giveaway!!! :) So excited for the CBC!

  40. what cute squishy cheeks!! love it

  41. I'm in public, so I can't watch the video. But the pictures are so sweet! And, yes, they are hopelessly spoiled by the older siblings, aren't they? I love it and it drives me crazy. You do wonder how youngest children ever manage to grow up at all.

  42. Aww...he's so adorable. Pick him and love him. Am I helping?! ;)

  43. You are so funny, Sue. And just for the record, also adorable. I was looking at the bloggy brunch picure thinking you have the nicest rosy complection and sunny eyes I'ver ever seen. And I'm not just kissing up to win whatever you are giving away next.