Friday, May 09, 2008

My Ears Are Broken

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Mom, can I play 'puter? Why not? Why not? I wanna. I wanna play it. I wanna play da guy who takes da word and shocks it POW and goes up high and makes a beep and you get a star and it goes bigger and da guy turns into a monkey. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Let me do it. Mom, COME ON.

(Five minutes later, climbing on me) Oh, mom, I love you. Why you so sweet? Huh? Yous a sweet mommy. Let me hold yours face. Let me kiss yours nose. You so cute. Look at me. Look at me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Mom, I love you. I love you. I love you. Hey, mom, I’m gonna play 'puter. Why? Why? WHY? BUT I LOVE YOU! LET ME PLAY DA 'PUTER!

(Later) Oh Mom, I love you. Gimme me a hug. Gimme me a kiss. Gimme me anudder hug. Hold me. Hold me up. No, not sittin' down. Standin' up. Hold me standin' up. Standin' up. HEY, I SAID STANDIN' UP. Aaaaaaa! AAAAAAGH! STAND UP! NOW!

I don’t wanna go in my room. I won’t! No! Never! NEVAH! NEVAAAAAH! Hey, put me down. Put me down. HEY, I SAID PUT ME DOWN. I won’t stay in here. I won’t. I won't! NEVAH! LET ME OUT!

Hey, mom, I want lunch. Turkey sandwich wit crusts OFF. I didn't want it cut like that. NOT LIKE THAT. AAAAAAAH! Hey! Where you takin' me? Hey! Put me down!

(creeping out of room) Hey mom, look at this. Look at this picture. You like it? It’s for you. Hey mom, look at this. Look at this picture. You like that? Hey mom, look, another picture. Do you love it? Do you love it? Do you love it?

Hey mom, look at this. Look at my finger. Look at my car. Look at my army guy. Look at my shirt. Look at my eye booger. Look. Look. Look. Look. Hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom hey mom.



  1. I feel your pain. Now I get to hear how this bionicle dude did this and blah, blah, blah.

    Now we know why some animals eat their young.

    But your little guy is really cute!!

  2. ... and then they wonder why we tune them out most of the time. We'd all have brain annurisms if we didn't protect ourselves SOMEHOW!

  3. Your boy is adorable. Can I eat him?

  4. Anonymous12:02 PM


    I'm very sorry this isn't a more sympathetic comment, but


  5. It's kind of reassuring that your ears will start working again as soon as he gets up from his nap. Sort of refills the old...well...ear...cup?

    Shoot, I can never do a good metaphor when I need one.

  6. I hear ya!
    (pun intended)

    He IS pretty darn cute.
    And he DOES love you.

    So, did you let him play the computer?

  7. Excuse me...have you been in my house lately? OK. So my 18-month old kid can't yet do this, but if "uh-uh-uh, ball!" counts as toddler whining then it will fit.

    Did I mention you are hilarious? Yes, probably but with 300 some comments, how could you see it?

  8. Anonymous1:02 PM

    Multiply that.... and add a dog. ;-)

  9. So you know, you can just tell *him* your ears are broken. We need to know you are hearing it all so you can report for the rest of us how fun it is to be home with babies!

  10. BAH hahahahaaaaaa! Sigh... they aren't broken, just shut down for a hour or two.

  11. ROFL are you stalking me???? How else could you be able to quote my son almost WORD FOR WORD!???

    Look at it this way. The kid loves you... no doubt about it!

  12. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! I hear that all day and now I'm READING it!!!


  13. Anonymous2:36 PM

    Oh wow, I can totally relate. Why, why, why must they repeat themselves a million times? And how come they never run out of things to say?

  14. And the irony is that as I was trying to read your post, my little 3yo was chanting "Look Momma look Momma look Momma" while hanging off the bookcase.

    *Sigh* Good thing they're cute, right?

  15. They are sent here to test us. And I'm failing miserably.

  16. I feel you.

    By the way, got any fresh G-rated information about pirates I can pass on to my 4 year old? I'm outta info and answers.

  17. Heeh. What IS it with the three/four-year-olds and the monologue. Jeeeebers. Sometimes after she goes to sleep, my ears are ringing like I've just been at a rock show.

  18. I'm so glad I'm deaf.

    oh wait....

  19. Hey Sue, Hey Sue, Hey Sue, Hey Sue!
    I thought you would enjoy that.

  20. My boys were easier than my girls...all I had to do was grunt and make explosion noises when the boys were younger to make them happy. Now the girls, oh, the girls make me talk and listen, and there are even quizzes!!!

  21. If girls give quizzes, then maybe I'm glad I don't have any!
    I'll have to try the random explosion noises. Oh, wait, I'm always telling my 9yo to stop already with random obnoxious noises.
    I do tune them out. They tune me out. It's some sort of arrangement I guess.

  22. That had me laughing right out loud! I have the same kid in my house...except if I try to send him to his room he wails..."WHAT ABOUT FRIENDSHIP!" Isn't four a great age?!

  23. Anonymous6:21 PM

    And let me guess, it only stops when he's asleep?

  24. Anonymous6:58 PM

    And yet, you can't live without him, right? :)

  25. Hanging out in our house again eh? "Eye booger?" Too funny.

  26. Bwahahahahah!

    Now you know why some animals eat their young. :)

  27. The kids might have Bi-Polar might want to look into that...nah just kidding...if that were the case both of my kids would be in the same boat...but I feel ya...I do!

  28. how about when they start with the why? why? why? but why? but why?moooommm whhhhyyyyy??

  29. This is so true! I am glad that it is not just my kids!

    So funny!!

  30. Anonymous9:42 PM

    Sweet post. I raised my nephue when he was about your son's age and he too had an adorable little kid way of talking. It's hard to say no to those big, chubby cheeks, I'll bet!

    Also, I saw that you disabled comments on your last post, and I understand why. But please forgive me, I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate what you wrote about. Seeing the perspective of an adult-child appreciate your mother for making you stick to things even though as a child you protested, gives me motivation to keep doing what I'm doing with my daughters. Sometimes I doubt whether what I'm doing will turn out to do them any good, but your post helps me to see that ultimately, it will. So, thank you, I received the answer to one of my prayers.

  31. Anonymous1:16 AM

    :: me holding what is clearly a bowl::
    han: mom, what's that?
    me: a bowl.
    han: Why is it a bowl?
    me: because it is shaped like a bowl.
    han: why is it shaped like a bowl?
    me: so it will hold things.
    han: why do you want it to hold things?
    me: so i can make things in it.
    han: why do you want to make things in it?
    me: so we can eat.
    han: why do we want to eat?
    me: so we don't die.
    han: why don't we want to die?
    me: well, actually, right now mommy thinks that dying may not be all that bad of an idea.
    han: why is dying not a bad idea?
    me: because you ask me too many questions.
    han: why do i ask too many questions?
    me: to make me crazy?
    han: why does it make you crazy?
    :: head explodes::

    that happens about 4,387 times a day... i feel our pain...

  32. Oh my... he sounds a lot like my 14yo... different words, but the same insistence... over and over, and over....

    He does have the most beautiful blue eyes though...

    (via cre8Buzz)

  33. Anonymous6:14 AM

    God made little children cute so we wouldn't kill them in their sleep. But, don't worry. When they are teen agers your conversations will be:(Him): ....nuh......huh?.......Don't bother me I'm on the phone!.....nuh....hmmm....
    It's sort of like living alone.

  34. So glad I'm not the only one.

  35. I always told mine that unless they made eye contact with me, all bets were off. I did a lot of nodding and smiling for years! ;-)

    Total Mrs. PiggleWiggle fan here!

  36. I feel your pain and I raise you a three year old lil girl who won't quit!! I want more HOUSE OF MOUSE! Ugh!

  37. I stand by my belief that "Mom" is the most annoying word in the English language.

  38. I don't know what you're talking about, none of my kids has ever done anything like that. One of them's not doing it right now. (Actually, he actively engaged in something else (taking off his socks) but he's randomly saying "Mama" without even looking up. It's like he's just doing it out of habit.)

  39. Hug me standin up? Awesome. I LOVE this post. I'm crying a little cause I love it so much.

  40. I kind of forgot about all that...when they become teenagers, it's their ears that are broken and you are saying: do the dishes, wear your coat, do you hear me, not you can't stay out after curfew, didn't I already say no?

  41. I can sympathize, we've had our fair share of that going on around here as well! GRRRRR!!

    Hope it's better!

  42. This sounds oh so familiar. It makes me laugh reading it, but experiencing it is a whole other story. Like your mom said, it is a good thing kids are so cute.

  43. Anonymous5:21 PM

    Posts like this make me wonder which is better - the mom momommomomom thing, or the constant WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! that makes up my 3 month old's vocab :)

  44. uh, im gonna break your ears if you even think about going out of town when Im there. Im the ultimate blog stalker- I got people who know where you live...don't think about ditching me!

  45. I feel your pain...times three. All of my boys do this. All day long. It never stops.

    My SIL used to tell her kids when the talking got to be too much, "My brain is tired." (Or, "My ears are tired.")

  46. Great post! Sounds so familiar w/ my 3 yr old.

  47. OMG, I had the same exact conversation today!

  48. Now I don't feel so alone.....

    except mine says....

    Iwanna hode jew.

    No offense to the Jews.

    How hard was that to turn the comments off on the last post? Don't you secretly want to know how many posts you would have gotten???? HAHAHAHAHHA!

  49. Anonymous11:18 PM

    I love what mom2nine said. Sad but so true...

  50. just caught up on the last few posts. You are hillarious. Love the list for your mother, such a great idea.

    but tuning out the kids...I dont do that AT ALL!!!

  51. I love how he was buttering you up before asking you AGAIN!! This one totally hit home!

  52. OMGosh! I have a 12 y.o. that does that very thing. I thought that he would out of grow it~but I was wrong, very wrong.
    My favourites are:
    and the
    and the soup de jour
    "If you really loved me, you'd let me take over the world...."


    I am just wicked and love to watch my kids suffer, at least that is what they tell me.

  53. He is too cute. I don't know how you resisted so long.

  54. LOVED this post. It's like my day - only in print. Your son is adorable!

  55. Anonymous5:31 PM

    I had to read it to my sons - after I explained that I KNOW we had such conversations when they were much younger.