Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Statements After Which It Is Probably Inappropriate to Respond, "But I Really Need To Update My Blog"

Pin It “Could you have those technical specs back to me by 11:30?”
“I need help with my piano theory Mom.”
"We'd like to bring clients over to see your house. Can you have it ready to show by noon?"
"Momma - can you hep me build fort wight now?"
"Hey baby. How YOU doin?"
Real life intervenes, yet again. I don't even want to look at my bloglines. I am afraid. Very afraid. Noblomopo is a terrifying thing.

Completely randomly, I think the religious instruction we are providing our children may be somewhat lacking. Consider:

Abby: “I'm not going to church anymore, 'cuz I know everything about Jesus already 'cuz we talked about Jesus last week and last week and last week and last week and we sang a hundred and eleventy songs and I'm ALL DONE."

Me: “Really? You know everything about him?

Abby: “Everything. In the world. Ever ever.”

Me: ‘Where was he born?”

Abby: “Heaven.”

Me: “No. Guess again.”

Abby: “Um.... Highland, Utah?”

Me: “Bzzzzz. No.”

Abby: (Thinks very hard.) “Disneyland.”

Me: “I'm afraid you’re going, my dear.”

(Hey, if I have to go, so does she. At least she gets crackers.)


  1. Anonymous3:14 AM

    ohhhh...busy busy juggling between adult stuff and kid...

    Emma really thinks hard for the answer, didn't she...wow! disneyland...she wouldn't think that Jesus is a cartoon, would she... -children are still children

    their answers just make you laugh...

  2. I love that she said Jesus was born in Disneyland. Kids are so funny...

    And on the other bit: I actually recently posted about the worst place I ever lived. Bakersfield, California. One of the most polluted cities in the United States. Yuck!!

  3. on places to live = growing up in san diego i was a little spoiled weather wise and then i lived in utah for 5 yrs. currently we live in mesa near tempe... its nice because there is a strong lds community down here... they call it little provo. theres still the temple and an easter pagent etc. the heat is intense for the first year and then i packed away most of my sweaters and settled into only getting to wear pants in what they call winter, you get accustom to the heat and the second summer isnt as bad as the first... flagstaff is beautiful, but i havent 'lived' there but probably would if we could make a living there.

  4. one more season of songs such as "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and adorable Emma may have some better arguments for playing hooky from church. "Playing hooky" is what we said when we lived in Illinois. "Sluffing" is what they say here in Provo. If you really must choose elsewhere...I can vouch for Flagstaff and Colorado Springs. Goodluck!

  5. My son actually prayed Saturday night that we wouldn't have to go to church. Yep, I totally rock as a mom.

  6. I really hated St. Lousi, but I just visited there. I wouldn't highly reccommend small town alberta either!

  7. Considering I've only lived in 2 states (6 cities total), I would be a horrible person to ask about worst or favorites.

    And I can relate to Emma. I hated going to church, but mostly because it meant waking up on Sunday mornings and getting out of bed as opposed to laying around reading Nancy Drew for hours.

  8. I hated living in the Washington DC area. Seven years of traffic and utter hell. Never again.

    And, I've told my husband I will divorce him if he ever asks me to move to Florida, Houston, or Detroit.

  9. My worst spot? My MIL's basement in a ward that had an attitude problem (a post in iself). Pretty much I've loved everywhere else I've lived.

    I have a 7 year old that consistently doesn't want to go to church. If he chooses to stay home and we can swing it, he just stays in bed the whole time because he is obivously "sick". They lose desire to stay home after a week or two of three hours straight of bed.

  10. First of all, I think your response to all those statements is right on and appropriate. Absolutely.

    I lived in Mesa, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, in the mid 1980s. It was alien, I tell you. A cul de sac, cookie cutter houses, just foreign. Our family had moved there from a teeny tiny Miss. Delta town where the school, K-12, had 500 students. At Taylor Jr. High in Mesa? 1200 students. Culture. Shock.

    I thought I disdained Mississippi until I got away from it. I hurt with homesickness with every bit of my being. My mother took me to a Tina Turner concert at ASU and when Tina, in her mini skirt and fabulous fishnet tighted legs, sang Rolling on the River, I cried, WEPT, I tell you because it was about the Mississippi River, up in Memphis, and not far from my hometown.

    Being an over dramatic 14 year old had nothing at all to do with how much I hated living there. At all.

  11. Anonymous8:24 AM

    cute how she already knows everything. my just turned 6 year old already knows everything too. :)
    as for worst place i ever lived, Toronto, hands down (i'm a canadian girl). it was dirty, loud, and so very rushed. everyone seemed to be focused on what they could get instead of what they could be, and every deadlie was yesterday. i'm just a small town girl at heart, and TO taught me that, vividly. i think there are city people and country people; suburb people and condo people and farm people, and the sooner you figure out where you do best the happier you (and everyone around you) will be.

  12. My girls still dig church. The novelty hasn't worn off. I, on the other hand, can easily be talked out of it, especially if we're running late and I'm going to end up sitting in what I call the "brat ghetto" -- the part of church where most parents seem to congregate.

    I'm pretty adaptable, have lived in different settings and found much to like about all. But south central Los Angeles was, um, the hardest setting to like.

  13. Tempe is nice, my MIL lives in Mesa near there. I think it's pretty. Hot though. Like Vegas I would think.

    Flagstaff is up north and much cooler.

    Colorado Springs has a very large Christian community due to the 'Focus on the Family' crowd.

    Cour d'Laine is very nice, large LDS community I think. Colo springs and ID have snow. I do not like snow. I will not live in snow.

  14. my son's response to anything about jesus: "i'm sorry, mom, jesus died."

  15. NO! You can't move, we haven't even met yet! Wahhhh!

  16. Heehee... Jesus born in Disneyland. Now aren't you glad you have a blog to document that?

    :) Have a good one

  17. I'm with Emma, sometimes I think I'M ALL DONE, but then it turns out, I'm not. So, I go.

  18. I have managed to find something to love about every place I've lived. Some places are harder than others, of course.

    I had family who lived in Tempe, and they liked it. Lots of beautiful places to hike around there. My sister still lives in AZ, and it is a very cyclist-friendly state, if that means anything to you.

  19. Orem. I hated Orem.

  20. I wasn't too crazy about Orem. It was just kind of boring. Never visited Flagstaff, Tempe, Colorado Springs or C'ouer d'lene, ID. But I hear that Flagstaff and C'ouer d'lene are beautiful small cities. Flagstaff has the benefit of also being a college town. Your mom and I have a cousin in Colorado Springs. She's lived there for years and loves it.
    Hopefully, you won't ever have to back to Vegas!

  21. Phoenix is unspeakably horrible. I lived there for the longest eight months of my life.

    As I wrote on my blog a few weeks back, I think the Arizona state motto could be: Hell is Prettier But We’re Hotter.

    My husband has family in Flagstaff. It's much prettier up there, and not nearly as hot. But I tend to be a girl who likes water, and there's not so much of that in the desert.

  22. ooo!!ooo!!! I voet for Colorado Springs! I'll meet you at the outlet malls between there and Denver!

  23. Costa Rica. Shocking, but true. Too many bugs. It was truthfully probably our critter-infected house only, and all other places are heavenly, but I would not move back if you paid me. A lot. Ever.

    Not to blow my own horn (ok, maybe a teeny bit), but I also wrote a post about Benjamin's take on religion a while back. It makes for the best blog fodder, doesn't it?


  24. Anonymous9:53 AM

    Haaaa. My kid has mashed Halloween, Santa and "baby Jesus's birthday" into one scary hodgepodge of nonstop candy and decorations. It's like we're living in the sequel of Nightmare Before Christmas.

  25. The worst place I've ever lived was a cockroach infested apartment in Cypress, California years ago. We dubbed it La Casa Cockroach. No matter what we did, we couldn't get rid of the hundreds of them. We got out of our lease because of them. That was a happy day.

    Your daughter sounds like she takes after you. So funny!

    At least we can read your blog wherever you go. Moving isn't fun. Especially with kids.

    P.S. If you need a good realtor, I'm married to one!

  26. Wow, no wonder you're stressed. 24 comments already? Oi! You have permission to skip me for a month, but I want to see you December. Kapeeche?

  27. Easy call - move to Arizona. People inform me that there is no Daylight Savings Time, fall back-spring forward nonsense there.

    Although I think I would prefer the climate in the other 2 places.

  28. Anonymous10:26 AM

    You are so freakin' hilarious. Thanks for posting despite all of your other "responsibilities". As if there could ever be anything more important than US, your loyal readers/stalkers. We NEED you!!

    I've lived in Vegas myself (and my in-laws live there now). Compared to the place I grew up Vegas looks like Heaven On Earth. Medford, Oregon is the most ugly, boring, ugly and boring city I've ever been to. I hated it there.

    I've been Cour d'Laine quite a few times and can I just say it is GORGEOUS!! Not sure about all the hicks, but hey, you live in Utah now right? ;)

  29. I was about to go back to my laundry without commenting when I spied your warning. I forgot about that. I certainly can't have someone's death on my head, so let me just say that I love to stop by here and I am never disappointed.

  30. It's a bit of a tie. When I was 11, my family moved from Seattle to Yakima, WA. I hated Yakima. It was ugly, brown, it never rained very often, and our backyard was non-existent. (I'd grown up with a large backyard full of trees and blackberries and hills.)

    Then, when I was 14, we moved from Seattle (yup, we'd moved back when I was 12) to Logan, UT. I hated Logan. It was ugly, brown, it never rained very often, and there wasn't a decent mall. (A sign of changing priorities as we age. A decade ago Logan's mall barely had a handful of standard dept stores, seven shoe stores, and a fish shop. That was not a mall comparable to those in Seattle.) Further, it was an area of Utah my 14-year-old self perceived to be hickish, backwards, and self-righteous.

    Now, is Yakima all that bad? Perhaps not - the best fruit in the world come from Yakima (IMHO). Is Logan all that bad? I recognize I was wearing the glasses of a teenager who was VERY unhappy about moving. And the shopping really was atrocious a decade ago. I hear it's better now.

    However, would I ever move to either of those locations despite the progressing times? NOPE!

  31. Oh sh7566! I totally take the cake. I lived in Casper, WYO. Also, I've lived in Tulsa, OK (which actually had great shopping and cute houses but that's it), and Glendale, AZ (graduate school). I grew up literally on a beach in so cal and my husband in phx, but after graduating from U of Utah we were dying to get out of Utah. Moved to cal, and then all of those lackluster places mentioned above. Then I couldn't wait to get back to Utah. Now there are constant "threats" of moving to Ohio and New Jersey for work. I am numb to the possibilities and have completely given up. We were "supposed" to live abroad and raise fabulously cultured/bilingual children after attending a #1, very expensive grad school. Oh well. TMI. Just venting I suppose.

    I loved your intro.

  32. I have lived in 5 states. I have moved like 20-something times. I lost track. I don't like to be hot. So I do not like Arizona. Not to be all Pollyanna-esque or anything...but I pretty much found enough stuff to like everywhere we lived. Although I do believe that Utah took the most getting used to.

  33. My kids only go to church because the ushers wear cute aprons and hand out crackers just before the sermon. I always ask them to bring a cup back to me - they just roll their eyes. What? I have to sit here, too?

    I lived in Bemidji, MN which is unbelievably cold and dark from October to June. I don't know why people live there now. There are tunnels connecting the university buildings together. Yes, the state put in tunnels to entice children to go to school in the great frozen tundra that is Northern Minnesota.

  34. Worst place I ever lived was Vegas. Hot, dirty, smelly, ugly, skanky. But you knew that already.

  35. I have to disagree with happygeek, small town southern alberta is definitely the way to go. Now the Salt Lake Valley I don't like at all. Way too many people and there seems to be more every time I go.

  36. Ooh, ARIZONA,Tempe? It is great! Yes, AZ is hot. But there's lots of fun water things to do. Plus, there's the zoo, and tons of parks, and where else can you go swimming 9 months out of the year?

    Flagstaff is fun too. Cooler, more expensive, kinda ecletic, but fun! And Flag and Tempe have lots of college kids due to the universities, so there's tons of fun, cheap stuff to do.

    come live by me. ooooo-oooo-oooooo

  37. Crazily, we moved from Manhattan to Bangor, Maine, and I hated it. We only lasted for two and one half years. My oldest daughter has traveled to over 70 world cities, and she says living in any one of them would have been an easier adjustment.

    Your daughter's answers are so funny.

  38. The most common answer I get from kids in Primary are Jesus and Spiderman. Yup, to every question.
    "Who's this?" (Picture of President Gordon B. Hinckley)
    Wonder if he knows his alter ego is Spiderman?! :)

  39. Worst place: Livermore, Ca it was like living in an overcrowded, traffic filled oven (I barely made it through the summer, so I can't tell you what the winter might be like, but I was not impressed.)

  40. Oh my gosh Kelly, this made me laugh so hard: "...I think the Arizona state motto could be: Hell is Prettier But We’re Hotter." Sounds EXACTLY LIKE VEGAS.

    And this? "brat ghetto" Brilliant, LOL. If we can't get there early enough to get a pew, I'm skipping SM altogether, because my children turn into MONSTERS when we are stuck in the metal chairs.

    You know, the thing is, I love it HERE. I love it. Love. It. Love. It. Love. :<

  41. Wow! you might have to move? why?
    I have lived in Flagstaff.It's gorgeous! Sunny ALL the time, mild winters, mild summers. Lots of snow most of the time but sunny winter days and mild temps make the sun very enjoyable. Beautiful mountain views. Tons and tons of outdoor recreation opportunities. Awesome charter school options. A bit of a hippy feel, but a growing number of people not in this category. Lots of young families. A definite university feel---you get a lot of cultural opportunities while still enjoying a small town--theater, music, symphony, dance, etc. Some good restaurants, not sure what you're comparing it to--there's lame restaurants compared to Chicago for example, but a lot better than most small towns. Let's see....what else can I tell you? what else would you like to know? It's a great little town. Safe, clean, pretty, great weather, a bit of the altitude thing though---cool in the mornings and evenings, quite warm midday. Hard to dress for the weather. It's a great place though. I would definitely recommend it.
    Oh, I forgot about the second half. There is no where that I have hated to live. I have found good things and bad things about everywhere we've lived---Chicago both suburbs and city, Kansas City, Tucson both Tucson proper and Oro Valley, and Flagstaff. I could write a novel here! Chicago has all the awesome big city amenities, the lake, our entire families, but has the big city crime and traffic and pollution to go along with it. Kansas City is the only place we've ever lived where our neighbors actually came over with baked goods to welcome us to the neighborhood--big city amenities with small city charm, but horrible humidity and mosquitoes. Tucson--hot! very hot. But awesome to have a pool in our yard. Gorgeous rugged mountains, great university setting. Flagstaff, see above. Good luck!

  42. One more thing on Flagstaff---there IS water despite conventional wisdom. It's just in the form of canyons--rivers and streams---instead of lakes. More hiking, but more privacy. The canyons are beautiful---and Flagstaff is only 70 miles to what we like to call "the grandest of all canyons." Also, Flagstaff is only 2 hours to Lake Powell which is awesome for boating, water sports, camping. It's gorgeous. Also, Flag (as it is called by locals) is only 30 minutes to Sedona which is a 3000 feet elevation drop and therefore much warmer. Whenever it's cold in Flag, it's a hop skip to the beautiful weather in Sedona. And Flag is never, ever hot. Ever. It's 7000 feet in elevation so at the very very most it's 90 during the day in the middle of July and even then it's cooler at night and cooler in the morning---by a lot---like 30 degrees. There's like 2 weeks in mid July where you might consider getting a/c, but the rest of the year is glorious. Really.

  43. My son has some pretty "unique" ideas about Jesus, which makes me wonder a bit what they're teaching him in Sunday School. Not enough to actually venture down there, though - that's how they trap you into having to teach.

    The worst place I ever lived? Oh, in this basement apartment with the landlady's 30ish son watching slasher movies loudly a floor above me. Creeeeepy.

  44. Anonymous7:18 PM

    Worst place I ever lived? Royal City Washington. Its just outside of "O-smello', ahem, I mean Othello Washington. There is only 4 things in all of Royal City... A gas station, the post office, a law office and a fast food restaurant shaped like a mustard bottle. I KID YOU NOT! So, yeah. That is the worst place I have ever lived. I have also lived in a sub of Cour d'Laine... IMHO it is totally God's country. Seriously! Cour d'Laine was a fabulous place to live, and I would happily move there tomorrow! If you are an outdoorsy person, then you will think you have died and gone to heaven!
    My sis lives in Colorado Springs and totally digs it... She says she will NEVER move back home and loves it there completely.
    On the church-y note, my son went to primary, and they must have been teaching him about Samuel, but when he came home, he told us he learned about some guy standing on the wall waiting for aliens to come and take him away. Oh.Good. I don't have ANYTHING to worry about!
    I just stumbled onto your blog and I LOVE it! Its hilarious!

  45. "Hey, if I have to go, she has to go" - sounds just like me. This was so cute! "Highland, Utah" - hysterical. My little daughter is the only one lately wanting to go to church - I keep telling everyone she is our moral compass. I think Colo. Springs - good choice. I'm Kellan - nice to meet you. See ya.

  46. Anonymous8:05 PM

    Disneyland. ahahahaha.

    I have never hated anywhere I've lived. And, oddly enough, I moved from one of the most liberal and irreligious states to one of the most conservative and religious.

    My sister lives in Coeur d'Alene and loves it. I love their boardwalk, but I was only there for a few days.

    Good luck!!!

  47. A hundred and eleventy songs....love it!

    I've only lived in three states: Alabama (now), Tennessee, and Indiana and I guess the worst would have to be Tennessee, only because I was 16 and hated everything then.

    We'd love to have you'ns down here in Alabama!!!! LOL

  48. Are you sure Jesus wasn't born in Highland, Utah? I mean, if Salt Lake City can be the new Jerusalem, why can't Highland be the new Nazareth? Maybe your daughter is on to something here.

  49. Oooh, I meant "Why can't Highland be the new Bethlehem?" Duh. I'm tired - gotta go to bed.

  50. ....and how close to Highland Utah do you guys perchance live?

  51. Hmmm, well, I've visited Flagstaff and Tempe, and I think you'd not be fond of Tempe. Phoenix and the surrounding area is just like Vegas, but bigger... and hotter. We went in October last year and it was 105 degrees! UGH. Imagine getting back to Vegas and saying, "Ah, it's so NICE out." Yeah. Flagstaff was awesome.

    I've heard Colorado Springs is cool, too. We thought about trying to move there whilst doing our job search. Don't know anything about C'ouer d'lene.

    Place I hated most: BYU dorms, but you're in no danger of living there!

    Emma is hilarious. "Last week and last week and last week and last week." Heehee

  52. You may have to move? Are you being run out of Happy Valley because you are a little to irreverent for those folks?:)

  53. Tammy - we live in Highland. For now at least.

    I'm still hoping we won't have to move, but we will see. I will have to post about it. Things are up in the air. As ever.

  54. I hope you get to stay where you are because it is such a great home and beautiful place to live. We would love for you to come back to Vegas, but I can understand if you don't.
    I have never lived in any of those places but have been to Flagstaff and Tempe. Like others have said, I thought Flagstaff was so pretty. Tempe was hot, hotter than Vegas, if that is possible.

  55. Greybull, Wyoming for 11 years.

    We had 1,500 people and 9 bars.

    I win.

  56. Anonymous5:16 PM

    I don't know that I've *hated* any place I've lived. The place that comes closest to having been hated by me was Eugene, Oregon. Funny, though, that when we moved to neighboring (literally, practically across the street) Springfield, Oregon, we didn't hate that nearly as much. I think Eugene is probably a great place for some people, but it struck me as isolated and backward. Hard to explain. All the social problems of a big city, not enough culture and shopping.

    I wouldn't want to live in Southern California again because it is so expensive and the air quality leaves much to be desired (at least when you get as far inland as we were).

    Love the conversation with Emma.

  57. It took me half my life to get used to Utah, but it has it's good side too. LOVED AZ, but I love heat too. Flag's more small town and cooler than Tempe but charming. Denver Colorado was great too. Colorado Springs is nice!

  58. Anonymous6:35 PM

    Emma's answers remind me of Michael's question at the same age: "Mom, if Adam was the first prophet, who was Adam Stan Gression?" I still laugh over that.
    Your Uncle John lived in Flagstaff for a long time. He would be the family expert on that town. I think they liked it, but had lots of snow in the winter.

  59. Okay, new here, and you are probably so over yesterday's comments (or whenever) but I did find you a couple of days ago via toddled dredge and we DID live in Vegas and also hated it! Hated the desert, hated the strip oozing into suburban super walmarts and elementary schools.
    Also, we JUST MOVED. Not from Vegas (that was so three years ago) but from a whole nother country. Very difficult to do with small children.
    Have only visited Colo Springs, a few times. Prefer northern colorado -- just because the Rockies are prettier there -- but IT BEATS VEGAS.
    Good luck!

  60. Anonymous2:46 PM

    Bounced over from The More the Messier.

    At least you go to church. The boys know about God and Heaven but based on HRH's recent comment "Mom, we have to move seats, I can't see God (the priest)from here" I definitely feel we are lacking clarity in our explanations.

  61. so, this is a little on the late side i realize...i've so totally been lurking on your blog and not commenting. CRAP! i shouldn't have admitted that.

    thought i'd comment on the potential move. do you already know where you're moving? i moved to Colorado Springs about 18 months ago. it was a move we chose. specifically Colorado. now that i'm here, it's great, but i've learned i'm so much more a city girl than i knew (i'm from the DC area and moved here from Maryland). anywho. the upside to COS? beautiful weather, clean air, affordable housing, family friendly, lots to do outside. the downside? horrible shopping options (they just opened a stand-alone JCPenneys. who knew that was an option??! who asked for that?), not much to do inside during the long winters.

    hopefully you have your comments emailed to you or this was a waste of time. i'll shut up now. and start commenting on your current posts, so as to NOT add to your slow demise.

  62. Oshkosh, Wisconsin, or, as it's referred to in the venacular, "Colder Than A Witch's Boob in a Brass Brassiere."

    I lived there 24 months, and completely missed two summers, because they fell on a weekend I had to work.