Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Pin It My husband dropped a half gallon of milk on the floor today. Sarah and Abby helpfully threw a few towels into the middle of the milk mess while DH ran for the carpet cleaner, to suck up the milk, forgetting that he last used it to suck up the chocolate milk that Carter upchucked all over the car. When he was done, the kitchen smelled like milk puke.

My husband's (visiting from Las Vegas) mother and I managed to mop up the rest of the milk and wipe it off of the table, island and chairs. The dog and Carter ran amuck, prancing around in the milk until  hubs caught them and put one in a crate and the other in his room.

I went into the laundry room to grab the wood cleaner and a mop, and in the process, knocked a can of black paint over. Paint splattered and spilled EVERYWHERE - all over the hickory floors, the dryer, the walls and, oh yes, the dog, who was in his crate, in the laundry room. Paint as far as the eye could see. On me. On my feet. On my pants. Cue Abby throwing another batch of towels onto the paint mess. Helping me, you know.

I managed to get it cleaned up, with no permanent harm done, other than to my pants, which I tossed into the trash. DH thought this was all hilarious, until I accidentally (I swear, it really was purely an accident) brushed up against him on my way to the shower, ruining his shirt. I scrubbed and scrubbed at the paint on my feet, but my feet are horribly dry right now and the paint would not come off, so I now look like I have some kind of exotic foot fungus and my french pedicure is looking very gothic.

Carter and I put together the caesar salad for dinner, from one of those salad mixes, and he squirted the caesar dressing out of the packet - and all over the front of my shirt. My somewhat new shirt, which (because of the grease in the dressing) now looks like I had some kind of really unpleasant nursing accident.

We (probably foolishly considering our string of accidents) made S'mores after dinner, roasting marshmallows around the backyard firepit, and it went off quite uneventfully. Of course later that night I found a candybar wrapper stuck to my bum. I found it after I'd been parading around the backyard talking to various friends and neighbors for a few hours, like, "hey look everyone, in case you were wondering why I'm not having more success in my weight loss efforts, I've just decided to helpfully glue the freaking candybar wrapper right to my butt."

"Exciting afternoon," my father-in-law said.

Yeah. Something like that, anyway.


  1. whoa, when you guys do something you go all the way! personally licking candy bar wrappers are more fulfilling to me, but heck Ive never tried sticking them to me bum, must try it soemtime.

    So glad your paint came up- that is truely terrible! And I haven't told you this yet, but your house is BEAUTIFUL and AWESOME! Good move not selling it.

  2. LOL! Sorry for laughing at your misfortunes, but that was truly hilarious.

  3. HI-larious. Glad you got the paint out- I couldn't breathe for a second there while reading it.

    Sorry about your shirt. Isn't there some new stain remover they advertise on tv for "Set-in stains, even greasy food stains"? Maybe that would help.

  4. Anonymous1:02 PM

    Hilarious!!! I love it! It always seems to happen that way one thing right after another!
    Glad to hear that your wood floors weren't ruined though!

  5. HYSTERICAL! I swear when it rains, it pours as far as accidents are concerned. Especially when you are in a frazzled state of mind from the first one. hee hee And, hey maybe that is a good motivator, if I started gluing things that I ate to the parts that they end up, maybe I would STOP eating them!!!!!!!

  6. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry about all the mishaps, but that made me laugh so hard. You wrote it so well, I felt like I was right there with you. My favorite part was your explanation of the candy wrapper stuck to your bum.