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Having the runs.
Having the runs at work.
Having the runs on the way to work.
Having the runs on the way to work and having to stop at three gas stations before you get to work.
Having the runs on the way to work and having to stop at three gas stations before you get to work, and then not being able to find another bathroom when you really, really need one.
Having the runs on the way to work and and having to stop at three gas stations before you get to work, and then not being able to find another bathroom when you really, really need one, and then finding one, and almost but not quite making it to the bathroom.
You know how I said yesterday sucked?
I was wrong. As it turns out, any day that you do not lightly poop yourself on the way to work? Really not that bad of a day.
This is gonna be a long morning, I'm thinking.
Get yourself some Imodian.
ReplyDeleteImmodium works.
ReplyDeleteI know this with a surety of my heart (and my innards).
Umm, yikes. "No poop in a pants" - as my two year old would tell you.
ReplyDeleteToo much spicy Mexi last night?
Yes. Immodium is good. I have partaken and am waiting for it to work it's blessed magic.
ReplyDeleteOMG. That is me today too! I should have stayed home, but I had the puking and duking bug 3 weeks ago and took 5 days off. Feeling guilty because of that so I came to work and now I am just trying not to poop in my pants. UGH.
ReplyDeleteOh my,I'm so sorry! You're a good employee to GO anyway! I would have called in at the first gas station. I hope it gets better & you can have a good day
ReplyDeleteOk, funny story that might make you feel better: the same thing happened to my cousin, except we were on our way to the TEMPLE! We got there about a second too late, and then the toilet got backed up and started to overflow. Well, I thought it was funny, anyway. She was a bit embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteDoes it help if I'm laughing with you?
ReplyDeleteBecause you are laughing, right? I mean, what else can you do?!? Other than change your pants.
So sorry!
Oh Sue, I am so, so sorry. I wonder if your body is reacting to yesterday? (a day which would've had me on the the way to the local mental institution by the way)
ReplyDeleteHope it clears up quickly!
Avoid dairy. That's what my doc told me when I had the runs once, anyway.
~hugs~
You have my total sympathy.
ReplyDeleteI have no words for you. Just a strange snorting sound.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it's not related to laughter. I'm sure it's a sympathy snort.
I too have a testimony of immodium.
ReplyDeleteOh the 'rhea, how I hate it.
Drink some pedialyte or something.
Wow. That. Sucks
ReplyDeleteOr when you think you are just going to sneak a little gas out and instead you have brown water running all the way down your leg.
ReplyDeletein the store.
I feel your pain. Last week it was me.
ReplyDeleteLaughing is not a good idea. Anything that might cause any kind of event, is not a good idea.
ReplyDeleteYou are sick. Stay home. Go to bed. Immodium or kaopectate will help. Then call the Relief Society to take your kids. You need some real rest!
ReplyDeleteYou are sick. Stay home. Go to bed. Immodium or kaopectate will help. Then call the Relief Society to take your kids. You need some real rest!
ReplyDeleteWill you ever forgive me for bursting into laughter when I started reading?
ReplyDeleteYou poor, poor dear. My thoughts are with you today.
Try wearing baggy pants and tucking a baby diaper in them to help protect you until you get better.
I totally sympathize. I had that happen twice. Once when I was 14 and walking with friends to the gas station (pun unintended but funny!), and once when I was a teenager out on a youth trip to the gym. Step classes aren't good for that kind of problem, and having unmarked bathroom doors on either side of a big crescent garden spot with plants in the middle doesn't help. Especially when the one you unfortunately chose was a janitor's closet. I'll spare the rest of the details, but I may blog about it sometime. Except this comment is so long, I think I just did. Feel better, Sue!
Ouch. That is painful. I'm so sorry that I have to laugh (with you, of course). Seriously, poi. Poi will work also. Maybe a backup plan if the other AD's don't work...
ReplyDeleteAt least now you have an excuse to leave those 2 hour meetings early. Two sucky days in a row - you deserve a good one next!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing but rest assured, I'm laughing WITH you...not AT you.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping your week gets better! It can't get any worse. Can it??
Beth, asking that question is tempting the gods to prove you wrong.
ReplyDeleteOMG Beth don't EVER ask that question!! It really can get worse.
ReplyDeleteSue, so sorry you've had a bad time. Look I didn't even say crappy, well, except for now. Dang it.
Feel better soon.
Happened to me too! And you're right - it's really the suckiest thing ever. (I was too embarrassed to blog about it, so I wrote a really cryptic post about embarrassment that made everyone so curious I had to admit it in the comments section anyway.)
ReplyDeleteWell, think of it this way. At least you didn't have a stroke while you were slightly pooping yourself (I just read #2 of your 6 quirky things).
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying your blog.
I hope you find an Immodium in your cubicle. Or a perfumed depends in your desk drawer, or something! You haven't been visited by any nurses telling you to follow the BRAT diet for the next few days have you? B=bananas R=rice A=applesauce T= toast. Boring, I know.
ReplyDeleteI've also found that two Immodians taken at one time bring on sleep. At least for me anyway. Try it - just before the RS ladies have picked up your kids for the day, of course.
ReplyDeleteGet better soon.:)
Tooo much information.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me wonder, however, why gas stations don't keep a display of immodium and other toilet-related items right next to their bathroom entrance. You could even put the higher priced stuff right there. That'd be good marketing.
How do you do it? Make everything about your life, including a potty problems so dang funny?
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sorry that you don't feel well, I do appreciate the humor.
Well-with the past two days going as they did, I'm thinking tomorrow's gotta be better, right?
ReplyDeleteI usually find that telling your co-workers they are lame and annoying can be vaguely cathartic...before you turn into the office pirahna.
When it rains it pours! (no pun intended)
ReplyDeleteBwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Been there, done that. And somehow, I missed that you were back. Yipee!
ReplyDelete(whisper)don't ever leave me alone again!
Having now judged my day by that new standard, it was a great day.
ReplyDeleteJust noticed your mom's comment - would the Relief Society really have someone watch your kids when you are sick? Because, if that is the case, where do I sign up with you LDS'ers? I'm sold.
ReplyDeleteYou poor girl!
ReplyDeletePut your a&& to bed for a couple of days!
Yeah, SC, they'd do that. And they bring you food. Last month when my son was sick, people brought us dinner, and brownies, and rice krispy treats. And I wasn't even sick. It was awesome.
ReplyDeleteCome - join us. You know you want to.
(Of course, that means you sometimes have to watch OTHER people's kids too. There's always a catch.)
That does suck - all of that!! Sorry you are sick - glad to see you though (thanks for stopping by) - see you soon. Kellan
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back! Girl that stinks. My Kylee had to runs last week. She pooded all dang day!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry 'bout the runs, Sue, what a bummer - on the way to work of all times! Hopefully by now you're feeling better. I don't know about where you live, but where I live, everything from the common cold to the flu has been hitting everyone hard. Both my children have been sick, me and my husband had the flu, students at my children's school and my university, etc, etc. So, when it's all over, my take on it at least, is that I appreciate my health all the more!
ReplyDelete*Here's to a speedy recovery!*
Thanks for the laughs. You are freaking hilarious. Is it ok that I tell you that EVERY time I comment? HA!
ReplyDeleteI loved the quirky things post. I just know that I too will die in a horrific car crash.....I even daydream about family reactions, funeral arrangements, ect. HAHAHAHA!
I just hope I don't die while I'm pooping...now that would be embarrassing!!!!!!!
Oh My God.
ReplyDeleteYours is only the second blog ever that I click on and just could not stop reading. Never mind that I'm at work. These people can wait! I am reading your blog. I laughed, I cried. I empathized and sympathized, and I RELATED. To so many things!
I truly love your blog. Don't ever stop blogging! I beg of you!
And don't ever call me, I won't answer either. HA!
speechless here, just loving heidi's comment - it's perfect. I hope you feel better soon, even supermoms need a sickday once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Sue, just so you know that I really do sympathize, picture being in my kindergarten class, wearing light beige slacks, on the only day of the week when there is no prep time or aide in the classrooom, and having an attack of the "D" word. Two weeks ago. Try explaining that dark stain on your pants to a room of 5-year-olds. Fortunately,or unfortunately, with just an hour of school left. And crosswalk duty after school. I sympathize, I sympathize. Is this another heriditary moment?
ReplyDeleteer...hereditary.
ReplyDeleteOh man, and I was hoping today was going to go better for you. That has got to be one of the worst feelings of having to go so bad and not finding a bathroom. I am so sorry. I hope that Immodium kicked in and you are able to get some rest.
ReplyDeleteOh. Wow. I really hope tomorrow is a better day. And that today gets/got better for you. Immodium is good, I know about that...
ReplyDeleteOh, so sad. "Lightly pooping" yourself has got to be the funniest phrase I've heard in a long time. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better.
And I thought only guys made skid marks.
ReplyDeleteSue, I don't know anyone else like you. That's just an observation, a statement of fact. Nothing to do with your predicament. Nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteoooo, yikes. That is definitely a VERY bad day.
ReplyDeleteOi. I'm sorry. Hope that you've made it past the runs. Yucky Yucky Yucky!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's the pits! Stop eating fruits and veggies... I've heard that'll plug you up. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Sue. Sounds like you've had a couple of rough days. I hate cubicles, too. But having the runs -- no words.
ReplyDeleteGet well,
Heidi
Oh, man...neverask that question! That's like praying for patience...you're going to end up being tested in that area immediately.
ReplyDeleteBut you're a very brave woman forging ahead to work anyway, lol!
Please don't hate me for laughing. :) I'm sure it really sucked big time, but your description is funny!
ReplyDeleteI hope today was better or at least just as funny as yesterday.
ReplyDeletePoor baby {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteXXOO
Oh, crap that sucks. Well, perhaps the award I just gave you on my blog will help you to feel better. Or worse. (Do you suddenly feel nauseous? :P)
ReplyDeleteI've always found that employers are quite eager to give you a sick day when the phrase "explosive diarrhea" is offered up as an excuse.
ReplyDeleteOh boy, I'll say that I would have to agree with you on that one.
ReplyDeleteOne might say that one should stay home on a day like said day. I'm just saying.
I guess worse might be having someone else get the runs on you. At least it is your poop.
ReplyDeleteSue,
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better today.
Would you like me to bring you a casserole?
Cheesecake maybe?
I won't bring you enchiladas. The last time I took enchiladas to a lady who was sick, she died the next day.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of my food.
That really stinks, too.
ReplyDelete(Sorry. I couldn't help myself)
Hope you're feeling better today!
Hey Sue - hope you are feeling better!! Nice to see you this evening - thanks for coming by. Take care and have a good Friday - Kellan
ReplyDeleteDude...that's all I can manage before I start chuckling and snorting all over again...I've been there, sista!
ReplyDeleteI was met with that dilemma at 2:30 AM. It was NOT fun. I sympathize!
ReplyDeleteOh you poor thing! how horrible!!!
ReplyDeleteYou've managed to really put things into perspective on what a bad day is and I agree that going without pooping yourself has got to be a silver lining in any day!
ReplyDeleteI left you a little gift on my blog when you get back!
ReplyDeleteoh wow, and I thought I had a bad day today...
ReplyDeleteI hope things "dry up" soon and tomorrow's a much better day!! HUGS
Hey Sue - thanks for coming by tonight! Hope you are well - nice to see you. Take care - Kellan
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since we heard from you...hope you are recovering!!!
ReplyDeleteYIKES...
ReplyDelete"lightly poop yourself" omg, that made me laugh.
Oh. My. Gosh. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you aren't feeling well.
But you told the story with such skill and wit I couldn't help laughing. Sorry. :-P
That's the point where I turn around and drive straight home, lock the door and throw away the key! Hope you're feeling better soon, babe :)
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks for this. I am totally loving my not-pooping-myself life right now.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I hope you feel better now.
It's very true - it's not something you think to be grateful for - but true.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is a riot! One time I took some Senna. I thought it wasn't working so I took some more. It worked, but at the wrong time.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain.
Another thing that sucks: no new posts from you. What are you, busy or something? As if.
ReplyDeleteStill missing you! We're on two weeks now...hope to see you soon!!
ReplyDeleteI have been sitting here for the last few weeks imagining all sorts of horrible things that might have happened to you to keep you from posting. (BTW every one of them was caused by your dog)
ReplyDeleteI went to lunch today with some new blogging friends, and we all agreed that you are missed.
Hope everything is OK.
I'm sad that you haven't posted again since this... though I must say, what a post to leave us with! By the way, I gave you an award on today's post.
ReplyDeleteI'm about to drive out there and make sure you're not stuck in a snow drift somewhere!!!! HAAHAHA
ReplyDeleteMiss you!
I once had the runs on the way in to take an oral exam with my thesis committee. It was a really bad day to wear white pants.
ReplyDelete