- Get a blog – lie and say you are just doing it to keep in touch with people
- Write a few self conscious posts. Get no comments.
- Post all the time! Sometimes multiple times per day! You have so much to say! All the time! Wheeee!
- Comment other places. Get a few comments back.
- Become addicted to comments.
- Compulsively check comments. When comments are low, let it affect your mood that day.
- Install site analytics/tracking.
- Wonder why Blogger Y is looking at your blog for 12 hours straight. Figure out Blogger Y probably clicked on your blog and then went to sleep.
- Wonder why a certain IP address is looking at your blog 20 times a day. Get freaked out. Realize it's you.*
- Check out other blogs. Wonder why they have awards and you don’t.
- What’s a meme?
- Watch traffic go up. Pretend you don’t care.
- Watch traffic go down. Pout.
- Get awards. Give away awards. Get more awards. Give away awards. Start to be very, very afraid of awards. Write post mocking awards. Never get another award. Sulk.
- Give your blog a makeover (Obviously, I skipped this step ;>)
- Put up ads.
- Have a couple of well received posts. Become self conscious about posting afterwards because you cannot measure up to yourself.
- Guest post places. Suck at it because when you guest post you are supposed to have an actual point and you, my dear, do not have one.
- Get writer’s block. You have nothing to say. Nothing at all. You SUCK.
- Decide to stop worrying about what people think and just - write stuff
- Watch traffic go down, down, down. Wheeeeee!
- Realize you will never be Dooce and become o.k. with that.
- Discover that even when people don't comment, life still has meaning.
- Stop being a total blogging freak and get a little perspective for Christmas
- Stop checking site analytics because you've realized it makes you crazy(er.)
- Achieve blog zen - blog because you want to, not because you have to
Don't pretend you don't do some of this stuff. Maybe not all of it, but some of it? Right?
Just me then?
P.S. *Nicki, you know I'm lookin' at YOU. Hee. That still cracks me up.