Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

Pin It Blog awards fascinate me. There are no criteria. You make up your own rules. You don't actually win anything. There was never a contest to start with. It's just - an award. For nothing.

I know this is a horrible thing to say, but (whispers) Blog awards are kind of strange. They're a lot like chain letters. You pass it on because someone gave it to you and you have to give it to someone else. It's like on my sister's MySpace page where half the comments are little pictures with sappy/crappy little poems like this:

Friends are like butterflies
Fluttering about
Oh so pretty
Sent from heaven
Yellow and Pink
Kind of dumb, but in a really nice way
And butterflies sometimes fly in front of a car and that's like friends too because I would totally get hit by a car for you.
PASS THIS ON TO TEN OTHER HOT MOMMAS THAT YOU KNOW!!!
XOXOXOXO
!!! ! !!


(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you are old and have not been on MySpace lately. Frankly, I would not advise it. MySpace makes me weep for the future of America. Gotta love it when the comments say things like, "Sorry I passed out last night.")

The part of awards that I do like? They are a way for people to express friendship and appreciation - to give a virtual pat on the back, solely because you like or enjoy someone. I think that is a genuinely nice thing. Wonderful even. But it's not really an award.

A lot of times, if you get an award, you know the blogger just couldn't think of anyone else in their blog circle who hadn't already received it. You got it by default. Sort of like getting picked last for soccer. I have to question the validity of any award whose primary criteria is - I couldn't think of anyone else who didn't already have it. That's more like an STD than an award.

However. However. However. I am going to create my own blog award to use for my own nefarious purposes. Because if we're gonna do awards, the award should be something that's really embarrassing to post on your blog.

Therefore, I give you:

The Prettiest Blogger in All The Land Award

In the event that you receive this award, here are the rules:
  1. You cannot say it's an award. It already says that up there, in the teeeeeny tiny little letters.
  2. You just have to post it on your blog with no commentary whatsoever.
  3. The end.
Hey. I get to make up the rules, right? It's MY AWARD, dammit. (Yes, I know that when people come to your blog and see that you have dubbed yourself the prettiest blogger in all the land, with no accompanying explanation, they may wonder what type of medication you are taking. They may contact you to see if they can get some for themselves. This cannot be helped. Besides, if you do not want this award, there is a very, very simple way to avoid it.)
I hereby bestow this award upon anyone in the blogiverse who gives an award to ME.

36 comments:

  1. You like me, you really like me!
    :::::::bowing,wiping tears::::::
    I can't even think of what to say about the, ahem, "present",I guess, thanks to my husband, kids and animals who make my blog funny and commentable.

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  2. Heh heh heh heh I can't stand those awards either.

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  3. I LOVE IT! It's amusing in a really wacky way. Which is why I wanted the award. It's just so over the top.

    And FYI I didn't think your first post was mean or mocking anything but the ironies of blog awards. Which are pretty funny.

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  4. You know, I really think it's possible that you might be a slightly older version of me. Between your Yamaha post and the 10 things about you post... it's getting kind of creepy. I'm just so fascinated by our similarities I can't look away. It's like a train wreck. A very awesome train wreck. Because that's what we are. ...Or something.

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  5. You're too funny. And I don't understand the awards thing much. All I know is, I got one with a set of rules, and since I didn't want my kneecaps broken, I passed it on. BTW, LOVE the STD analogy!

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  6. Gosh, I'm so glad someone said something about this - I've been active in the blogosphere for about 3 months, and it took me awhile to figure out that the awards weren't "real." I mean, I'd sit there and think, "Hey! My blog's funnier than hers, why didn't I get an award?"

    But, no - I don't want one. I've figured it out, really. Please don't send me yours.

    And now if you could do a post knocking the meme thing, I'd be a happy blogger. Because the whole thing reminds me of something awful from high school, but I can't remember what.

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  7. This is brilliant! And I want that award. I do. I really, really, do.

    This morning, I saw your post on Reader, but not on your site. And because I am a tech-idiot, I thought it was something I'd done. I thought it was my own fault. I may be the PRETTIEST blogger in all the land, but apparently not the SMARTEST. So give that award to someone else, 'kay?

    Seriously - brilliant!!

    Heidi :)

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  8. An OLDER version? Do I seem old? I'm 23!!!!

    Oh, wait, no I'm not. Sometimes I forget. Dang it.

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  9. I guess I'm a blogtarded because I haven't seen all the awards out there. Oh well, from your post they're kind of pointless anyway.

    Thanks for the heads up on Wicked. I'm going to take it back to the bookstore tomorrow. I don't need anymore scarring after reading Kite Runner.

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  10. Well, this is my first comment on your blog (I think, I'm getting old) and I for one think it's funny.

    I love blog awards as I think it's a great way to show you care about someone out there in web land but even I can see the humor ion your post.

    Most of the time you are darned if you do and darned if you don't so when in doubt..do it!!

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  11. This gave me such a laugh!

    And regarding nablojomopo or whatever it's called. Whoever said it had to be 30 -entertaining- posts? =P

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  12. Anonymous10:28 PM

    This post made me feel like an idiot, and yet I laughed my ass off. I am totally guilty of spreading bogus awards. Sometimes I do it just because I can't think of a single darn thing to write about, or because nobody has commented in a while. Then I at least get pity comments. But you are right. This was so funny.

    But I probably won't stop doing it either, which is why I'm writing this anonymously. And if I could give you an award, it would be the "Award for Continously Changing Your Posts After You Post Them," because this post kept mutating. It was amazing to watch.

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  13. Anonymous10:28 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  14. oh i love a blog award you don't have to talk about. i hate passing them on because doing a whole blog post about an award just seems so 3rd grade.

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  15. It's 3 am here, and I'm an insomniac tonight... but I'm glad at the moment, because I got a huge kick out of your post! I have received several awards like you just mentioned... it was almost a burden because I felt like I had to come up with 5 other people that I knew had not already received it, and you know how that goes. The circles can get pretty small. So, I didn't... and then I felt guilty. But not anymore, thank YOU! I'm just going to enjoy it now. :)

    I wouldn't have commented, since it's 3 am, and that makes me look s-u-s-p-i-c-i-o-u-s, but you asked for it. ;)

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  16. I agree with you wholeheartedly about the chain-letteresque-blog-award-by-default. I have received those awards. When I see all my bloggy friends receive certain awards for weeks and then finally it creeps around to me...Bleh.

    I LOVE your award. And the rules. I'm here via Veronica--a truly appropriate person to receive the award.

    And you are funny.

    Oh, and I feel the same way about NaMaPoRangaLangaDingDang. I can't keep up with the people that do it. And I did avoid a lot of blogs last November. Too much "I don't know what to write but I have to write and you have to comment even though I didn't write anything" pressure.

    I'm done now.

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  17. I have a neglected Facebook page where various friends from high school are constantly posting "Friends are like butterflies" type ickyness. It's distressing.
    That is an AWESOME award.

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  18. This is hysterical!

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  19. debbie12:15 PM

    Hysterical. I hate MySpace so much. It's like - the white trash blog world.

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  20. You're gettin' nuthin' from me! But did you see the Perfect Posts over at Petroville today?

    You better go check it out. Hee. Some.one.is.in.troub.el.

    (said in a completely sing-songy voice)

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  21. It's been up for less than 24 hours and we already have TWO winners! WOOHOO!

    Randi and Veronica - you are SUCH GOOD SPORTS.

    And Veronica, thank you, really. I was genuinely touched by your post.

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  22. I just had to read this post again, and noticed you made a few changes. It's still making me giggle. So much so, I had to read it out loud to my husband.

    He now thinks all bloggers are crazy. "There's awards?!"

    Heidi :)

    PS: The word verification thingy just made up a naughty word! *gasp*

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  23. I like the no award award. But then I can't even when that.

    Be sure to link when you post at FMH. I'm not a regular reader, but I'd definitely want to read yours.

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  24. Just found you from Toddleddredge and I have spent the last 30 minutes reading and laughing. I think I am starting to scare my husband, but then again, I do that a lot.

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  25. Wow - seriously - you are a GREAT read. What a great blog - I am doing the HAPPY BLOG dance right now - glad to have found you. Not many of us around - mom with three VERY YOUNG kids that has some "time" to blog.

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  26. I've been getting your comments and I wanted to make sure that you knew I was getting your comments and I wanted to make sure that you knew that I knew you were commenting but I wasn't sure how to let you know, should I comment after your comment on my page (but then maybe you don't check to see if there is a response to your comment) or comment on your blog, but then it would be about my blog.

    Whatever!

    Hi!

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  27. Why don't you aspire to write one boring post a day for 30 days?

    Really.

    Just.... boring. Banal.

    As Nike commands, Just Do It.

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  28. Dagnabbit? Wow Sue you have shown that you are able to expand your vocabulary to include words like dagnabbit.

    Why don't you use the real words like you do at dinner? Just kidding.

    This is noted as the first time I have ever read "dagnabbit" used in a blog.

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  29. Well, I wasn't going to comment, but then I saw your note up there on the right and I would not want to personally be responsible for your death.

    Ok, that's a lie because I had to comment because I have no award to give but I WANT that award because my friends would be so in awe. And then would mock me mercilessly. Please, pretty please with hot fudge sauce on top, can I have one?

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  30. I hope you are happy, look what you made me do!

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  31. I came here from Jo's blog. That's truly hilarious. I love it! I've been given the Nice Blogger award and the Rockin Mom Blogger award. I said thanks, but I wanted to follow up my thanks with a what-the-hell?

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  32. I must be Hot Momma # 11 cause I don't receive those.

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  33. So fun! So FUNNY! Just because you cheered me up with this...I have an award for you! A you cheer me up award. Come by and pick it up!

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  34. I laughed a lot about this post!

    I've never gotten any awards, or given any, but I'd probably be pleased if someone gave me one...as pleased as I am when I see someone make a comment on a post. It's nice to make connections out there in the blog world. Even if they are based on some silly things.

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  35. I would like to pass a blog award on to you also...my friend, Merrianne created a "Joy" award. Because I like to read your news- drop by my blog anytime!! Thanks, Dolly

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  36. Very funny. It's kind of funny to me that you don't like awards. I'm not saying why... I just thought you would.

    I just got my first award and I think I'm good now. But I really wanted one.

    But now I find that I really want your award too. maybe I should have passed mine on to you.

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