What's the Deal: Thanksgiving Point, Utah: It Was Hot, And Then It Was Hot Some More

Pin It Remember when I said I wasn't going to do any giveaways on my blog?

I LIED, I LIED, I'M A FILTHY FILTHY LIAR.

(Now that we've gotten that out of the way...)

Thanksgiving Point mistakenly invited me and my kids to come enjoy their various attractions for FREE (and then gave me some stuff to give away to you guys) and I immediately caved.

I say mistakenly because as it turned out, the TP people only invited me because they thought I was the woman behind this blog (which I founded, but turned over to other bloggers a few months back and can no longer take credit for), but once they realized their mistake they couldn't exactly uninvite me, so I was IN, BABY. WHEEE!!!!

We were really looking forward to it, mostly because I sort of forgot that the marketing directors, despite being very lovely people, did not actually have the power to turn off the sun or make it Not-July.

We started the tour off in the main gardens, where the kids ran down a big hill over and over again while we bloggers stood around eyeing each other suspiciously. I didn't know a single one of them, so I did that thing where you sort of join the nearest circle and nod your head and laugh in the appropriate places until someone acknowledges you.

Blogger A, talking about the recent BlogHer conference and why she didn't attend: "If I could get a sponsor to pay a thousand bucks to send me, well sure, THEN I'd go."

Me: "If I could get a sponsor to pay a thousand bucks to send me I'd PRETEND to go and keep all of the money for snack cheese."

Thanksgiving Point Marketing Directors: {scratching my name off the future potential sponsorship list}

I will be honest. (Are we supposed to be honest? I'm not sure. I forgot to ask.) Going to the gardens in the middle of the summer is not really the smartest thing in the world to do when you are seven and one-half months pregnant. (WHICH I AM.) We love to go to the gardens in the spring during the tulip festival, but during the summer? With the hot hot hot hot hot sun blazing down upon us? OY.

OY, I SAY.

I will say that the kids were having a blast, mostly because they ARE NOT PREGNANT.

Or FAT.

(See? See the joy? She's fine by the way - the surgery went great and she's all better.)


A little while later we had a nice catered lunch in a shady spot where I met my friend Kalli (who I invited to come along with me before I realized that we weren't TECHNICALLY supposed to invite other bloggers to come with us, but it was TOO LATE, TOO LATE I ALREADY DID IT, NO TAKE-BACKS, and so the PR people had to let her come too).

After lunch they invited us to walk up a winding concrete path toward a water play area for the children, and so we did, sweating buckets all the way but looking forward to the cool, crisp water that would surely be waiting for us at the end of our journey. When we got there the water was TURNED OFF, IT WAS OFF, OH SWEET HEAVEN OUR BRAINS ARE MELTING and so we sat in the shade and poured water from the drinking fountain on our heads and waited for the trolley. Kalli and I talked while the kids scavenged around the dry water feature looking for signs of moisture.

I saw Jane from Seagull Fountain there lying on the grass with her children, and for a moment I was concerned, thinking maybe they had all succumbed to the heat, but they were just resting. PHEW. IMAGINE THE HEADLINES.

NOAH'S ARK DURING A DROUGHT


ME, BACK ON THE TROLLEY, CONTEMPLATING THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH


Next up was the farm. They have a working farm there and it's something my kids and I have visited ever since we moved here back in 2004. They have all sorts of animals to pet and feed, ponies to ride, wagon rides, fun exhibits to play on, classes you can take - this is one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving Point. They kids all got a free pony ride, to wit:

RIDING A HORSE IN A CIRCLE - WHEEEEE!


RIDING A HORSE IN A CIRCLE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED:


RIDING A HORSE IN A CIRCLE AFTER MAJOR SURGERY:


FEELING UP A COW:


STEALING YOUR MOM'S CAMERA AND TAKING PICTURES OF A BABY CHICKEN OR POSSIBLY DUCK OR OTHER POULTRY TYPE ITEM:


KALLI AND HER CHUNK OF CUTENESS, ON A WAGON RIDE, MELTING EVER SO GRACIOUSLY IN THE NUCLEAR SUN:


Poor Kalli. By this point in the tour I was mostly not making sense, rambling incoherently about "LIQUEFYING BRAIN PARTS" and "OH MY BLISTERING ANKLES" and she nicely patted me and said, "Let's go find you a popsicle." And so we did.

After that we hit up the dino museum and the junior paleontology lab, another attraction my kids and I visit a couple times a year. It was a big hit with the kids AND the moms, and not just because of the air conditioning.

See?

DIGGING FOR FOSSILS, BUT "BY JOVE, I THINK I FOUND A BABY!"


MY SON, ILLEGALLY CROUCHING ON EXHIBIT FOLLOWED BY ILLEGALLY LEAPING OFF OF EXHIBIT FOLLOWED BY MOTHER SOMEWHAT UNENTHUSIASTICALLY SAYING "STOP THAT" FOLLOWED BY MORE ILLEGAL CROUCHING


THE EVER POPULAR PLAYING IN MUD EXHIBIT


After the dino museum Kalli left, possibly because if she had to hear me say something about how hot I was even ONE MORE TIME she was going to grab a fossil and shove it in my left eyeball.

This freed me up to make more uncomfortable conversation with other bloggers who were strangely preoccupied with talking about blogging. Incessantly. Blog, blog, blog, blog, sponsor, sponsor, blog, blog, twitter, blog. I realize it was all we really had in common but still.

Blogger A: "I haven't met you yet. I'm ________ from ___________. What's your blog?

Me: Navel Gazing.

Blogger B: WHAT?

Me: (mumbling) Navel Gazing? At its finest?

Blogger A: But your nametag says Borrowed Light.

Me: Yes, well - that's my blog address.

Blogger B (look of horror) Your blog name doesn't match your URL?

And then they would back away quickly, as though I had tuberculosis or the plague or a really low technorati score.

Next we went to a very fun (air conditioned) cooking class, where the kids frosted cupcakes and made chocolate decorations. They gave each of the kids a bag of goodies with aprons and personalized magnets and candy and gift certificates.

We were invited to a nice dinner at the restaurant there, but the kids and I were all exhausted and decided to call it a day. They handed me a gift basket full of fudge and taffy and gift certificates and (WHAT ELSE) BLOG GIVEAWAY ITEMS, which, to be perfectly honest, I was tempted to keep, or at least make up a name for myself and enter my own giveaway and award myself the prize (LUCKY LUCKY WINNER) but I figure the blog police will come and get me if I do that, so instead I will do the right thing and give them away.

Plllbtttt.

I'm giving away the following stuff, courtesy of Thanksgiving Point(see, it's a real giveaway, you can tell by the way I centered it and made it purple):

Four tickets to the Seriously (I'm Not Kidding About This) Fun and Awesome Dinosaur Museum

AND

Four tickets to the Totally Wholesome and Entertaining Farm Country

AND

Four tickets to the Children's Discovery Garden Where The Fountains Will Be Working By Monday And If Not Then Yes, Probably You Will Die Of Heat Stroke On Your Way Back Out Of The Park But That Cannot Be Helped Because One Must Suffer For Nature

AND

Four tickets to the Thanksgiving Point Gardens on the Surface of the Sun

THAT'S SIXTEEN TICKETS.

I debated giving them away to sixteen different people but decided to give all sixteen tickets to one lucky winner. Just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win ALL SIXTEEN TICKETS.

SIXTEEN.
TICKETS.
ALL FOR YOU.
And I'll throw in ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, just for the heck of it.
(That is a lie. I will not throw in one hundred dollars. But you can PRETEND like I'm going to give you one hundred dollars. That's practically the same thing.)
I'm sure by now the marketing people are reading this post and muttering things about my black, black, ungrateful heart, and plotting to send my name and url to all of the other PR people in the valley with a note that says DO NOT INVITE HER, so I will close with a picture of this:


See that? That's JOY right there. You can't purchase joy like that.

WAIT. WAIT! ACTUALLY YOU CAN! YOU CAN PURCHASE IT FOR $3.50 per ticket (or whatever it is they charge). WHAT A BARGAIN.

Seriously, they loved every bit of the day, and I was really happy that we got the chance to go enjoy all of that free fun. The marketing people were awesome and friendly and tried their best to make sure we were all having a great time.

Thanks for mistakenly inviting me, Thanksgiving Point people. (I am highly in favor of mistakes that benefit me personally.) (Attention all PR people: I am also the blogger behind CJane, TAMN, NieNie and Dooce. So if you have any opportunities for those folks, by all means, SEND THEM MY WAY.)

You have until TOMORROW AT MIDNIGHT to enter the giveaway. TOMORROW AT MIDNIGHT. DO NOT SQUANDER THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY.

On another note, I'm actually planning to start blogging again on a (somewhat) regular basis. I even have posts all thought up, with titles like:

"Why Won't My Husband Eat My Chicken?" (not a euphemism)

and

"Ways In Which My OB and I Continue To Aggravate Each Other"

and

"What My Husband Thinks of the Book The Five Love Languages Which I Bought In An Effort To Change Our Love Language To Something Other Than Cracking Jokes At Each Other's Expense And Calling Each Other Dork A Lot, So That Hopefully He Will Not Run Off To Tahiti With Some Non-Seven Months Pregnant Woman Who Fills His Love Tank" (also not a euphemism)

(Actual suggestion from book: "Go to the city park and rent bicycles. Ride until you are tired, then sit and watch the ducks. When you are tired of the quacking, roll on to the rose garden. Learn each other's favorite color of rose and why. If the bikes are too much, take turns pulling each other in a little red wagon." I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Despite this suggestion, which caused my husband to snort so loudly he almost had a brain aneurysm, the book had some valid points. Note to husband: SERIOUSLY, IT DID. ALSO, YOU LOOK QUITE SHARP TODAY*)

*This makes sense if you have read the book.

So long, farewell, I am off to crouch in front of the air conditioning vent.

Related Posts:

• Veteran's Memorial Park, West Jordan, UT
• Children's Gateway Discover Museum, SLC, UT

What's the Deal: Discovery Gateway Children's Museum, SLC, Utah

Pin It A few weeks back, my sister Diana and her girls, Alyson and Chloe, came to visit. I love it when she visits and so do my kids, because Aunt Diana, frankly, is a lot more fun than Mom, and they know that when Aunt Diana comes to visit, they will get to do a bunch of stuff that Mom is normally too tired (lazy) to let them do, like go swimming and stay up past 6:30 and leave the house and other crazy stuff like that. Accordingly, one hot afternoon, Diana, Wendy and I packed up all of our kids and headed for the children's museum.

When we arrived at the museum, Diana spotted this sign, and stole my camera to take a picture. It says, "Strollers: To make more room for play please park your stroller around the corner by the elevators." Of course, the sign was SURROUNDED by strollers.


There were a lot of cool exhibits that I didn't take pictures of, because I was too busy running around yelling, "Sarah? Sarah, where's Carter? Oh, there you are, o.k. Oh - Abby? ABBY! Carter, where's ABBY? Oh, Abby, I see you. Wait, where's Sarah again?" And so on. (You know how they have those barbaric leashes for kids? I totally want one. Or three.)

There was a child size working grocery store where they check their groceries out, use the cash register, talk over the loudspeaker, etc. See how Sarah is just patiently waiting for them to check her out, not getting bossy or demanding or anything? (So obviously her father's kid!) Another little girl kept hogging the cash register and I was about to ask her to let Sarah have a turn and Sarah gave me this withering look like, "Do NOT embarrass me, mother." Uh huh. Yeah. She's FIVE.


Did Abby want to play in the grocery store? No, Abby did not. Abby wanted to play in this - old fake metal car. It didn't do anything. It wasn't even a REAL fake car. It was just - a fake pretend car with no pedals or gears or anything. All you could do was steer it. But - hey - that car had some other kids in it, and you could boss them around and tell them you were the mom and they were the children and then make them listen to you sing a song. An audience, trapped in a car with you. That seemed to be the primary draw of the exhibit.


There was a puppet show. See that person hiding back there behind the puppet show? That's my sister Wendy. She put on the puppet show. See all those empty seats? Yeah. The kids all left. Abby stayed for a while, out of pity, I think.


Here is another puppet show. That chicken puppet? I believe that's Wendy again. Notice that the children have all wandered away.


After Wendy was finished putting on puppet shows for imaginary audiences, the kids took turns being on the news, watching themselves on camera...


Next they went outside to examine the (real) flight for life helicopter. Carter was worried, because every few minutes the helicopter would start making helicopter sound effects and vibrating and he was quite convinced it was going to take off into the sky at any moment.

Back inside, they played some games. Abby picked her nose a little. (Here is a tip for first time parents: Don't ever say, "No child of mine will ever ______." Because then karma will bite you in the buttocks and YES THEY WILL.)

We did a bunch of other stuff - dressing up...



...and farming activities and playing games and building buildings and other things like that, then ate dinner and headed over to the fountains to cool off. Wendy and Diana did not want to get wet, the big wussies. But the kids and I had no such compunctions - it was hot, and the water was cold. A little bit later, drenched and tired, we all headed home.


P.S. Wendy - don't hurt me. XOXOXOXO

Related Links:

• What's the Deal: West Jordan Veteran's Memorial Park, West Jordan, UT
• What's the Deal:  Thanksgiving Point, UT