Tuesday, February 26, 2008

In Which We Discuss Things That REALLY SUCK because that other stuff? NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.

Pin It (Alternate Title: Tell Me To Look On The Bright Side And I Will Hunt You Down and Kill You, So Help Me...)

Um... Hello! Greetings! Contrary to popular belief, I have not actually succumbed to the runs. I'm alive, but have been resisting the urge to post any of my drafts, which have very melodramatic and self pitying titles, such as:




I thought I would spare you until I was able to get some perspective.
What's that? You want to know what's been going on with us? It's so nice that you asked, because I'm feeling in the mood for a rather large vent. (WARNING: EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF PERSONAL INFORMATION AHEAD, AVERT EYES IF SQUEAMISH.)

If you've been reading for a while, you might know that we had a business. A business we were pretty sure was going to do well. Oh. Hold on. Excuse me for a moment.

(bitter laughter) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (/bitter laughter)

Sorry, where was I? Oh - right, the business. It didn't work out (UNDERSTATEMENT) and we've been scrambling a bit (MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT) to get things back on track, with very little success (SPECTACULAR UNDERSTATEMENT) in spite of our best efforts.

The weekend before last, we went to Las Vegas to look for a house to rent. We're moving back there - leaving the little town we love and going back to the horrifying hell hole (UNDERSTATEMENT) we grew up in. My husband has a good job waiting for him there, I can keep my job and work from home in Vegas, and it just made sense in a whole bunch of very boring ways. We made the decision together and agree it's the best thing to do, but it still feels like a failure - leaving a place we love, a neighborhood we love, and returning to a place we both despise. Ugh.

Anyway, we spent the weekend looking at rental houses and eventually found one that did not make us want to impale ourselves on sharp sticks. The kids all got sick, making the trip home very suspenseful and interesting: Who would barf next? Would they barf into a bag, or share with their siblings? And how many times do you think you can you barf in a car before EVERYBODY gets sick? (Answer: Approximately four) Those were super fun car games. The trip home just flew by.

But the best part of the whole trip? Happened right after we got home.

We pulled into our driveway. My husband parked the car in the garage and went out front. I started helping the children out.

He came back and looked at me grimly. "The car's gone."

I looked at him blankly. "Gone? Somebody stole it?"

He gave me a wry smile. "No."

I didn't understand. "Then where is it?"

"I'm guessing probably at a repo yard somewhere."

They repossessed it.

On Sunday.

Which also happened to be my birthday.




So, uh, we've been adjusting to life with one car while we negotiate with the bank to get it back. (Magic 8 Ball Says: Outlook Hazy, Ask Again Later)

We filled out some credit counseling stuff the other day in preparation for (HOLD ON, IT GETS BETTER....... WAIT FOR IT...........) our bankruptcy, and part of it involved entering your debts and expenses and income into an online calculator. After you enter all of the information, a little automated person tells you how much money you have left over after paying your bills each month.

My husband and I sat there and cracked up for, oh, gosh, probably an hour, making the little robot voice repeat over and over again, "MRS. SMITH, AFTER PAYING YOUR BILLS YOU WILL HAVE NEGATIVE $9,050.00 THIS MONTH." He was just so chipper and happy to let us know about our negative cash flow. There was nothing to do but sit on the floor and laugh.

We're doing pretty well, in spite of it all. Husband and I are in this together, deeply, and we've managed to (mostly) avoid sniping at each other and fighting. And we have our sense of humor. And we have our kids. And nobody has cancer. Yet. (PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT AS AN INVITATION, LORD.) Things will be better in a few months when we're back on our feet.

The hardest part of all of this is dealing with the blow to my pride. I'm not worried about what my family thinks. I barely know most of my extended family (with a few notable bloggy exceptions) and don't really care about their opinions of me. And in my immediate family - well, bankruptcy and foreclosure - pretty small flashes in the pan quite frankly. To get a bad rep in my family you practically have to rob a bank or marry a cousin or something. Anything else is just another day at the office.

It's letting other people know that makes my stomach churn a little. Neighbors and friends. I'm going to be incredibly embarrassed about the Bank Owned sign swinging in front of our house after we leave. I don't want them thinking we're those people - people who I (JUDGMENTAL) picture relaxing on the couch and eating twinkies while watching the home shopping network and buying Marie Osmond dolls at 2:00 in the morning, until they max out their credit cards and declare their third bankruptcy.

We aren't people who get cars repossessed, or behind on their mortgage or late on their bills. We're resourceful and hard working and smart. We're responsible. We're successfullish. We're from hard working pioneer stock, gosh dang it.

But I guess most people who go through this kind of stuff aren't those people either. They're just - human. And so are we. Human and having a very crappy time of it. (This has been another episode of Very Obvious Life Lessons brought to you by Sue Smith, thank you so much for joining us.)

We'll be okay. We really will be fine, so don't feel sorry for us.

(Unless your particular form of feeling sorry for me involves bringing me baked goods or sending me chocolate. Or money. Yes, feel quite free to send me lots and lots and lots of money.)

(I'll just wait over here by the mailbox.)

I know it will all be o.k. I just never wanted to be a flippin' cautionary tale.
Losing our house to foreclosure, saving our house from foreclosure


  1. I'm sorry, Sue. It sucks big time. I had no idea it was that serious.

    But you are right in saying that most people who declare bankruptcy are normal people who had a bad break. It happens All.The.Time.

    You'll have a lot of work to do to get out of this hole, but your marriage is strong, your kids are healthy and happy...you CAN do this and be even stronger for it.

    In the meantime, chocolate on the way...to which addy?


  2. Well, at least you will be warmer than here. I'm sorry, all of that really bites. {hugs} and funny you should mention chocolate, I just sent shipments this morning.

  3. I'm really sorry, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better.

    Hope all goes well with the move..

  4. p.s. If you'd really like a few bars of German or Swiss chocolate, email me your address. (dragonflywings27 at yahoo dot com) Really. :)

  5. I don't even know what to say. The whole thing sucks, and I doff my wig that you have kept your sense of humor and are so honest about it.

  6. I'm wondering whether the library in Las Vegas will take you back, you deadbeat. I'm still trying to stay one step ahead of the long arm of the (library) law here, while frantically searching the house for stupid books like "Campfire Foxtrot" and such. It couldn't be War and Peace, oh no. I wouldn't want to look like an intelligent crook, now would I?

    But they haven't repo-ed my car yet; so that's good.

    And that is great that your husband and you can hang together through this. Really. You should take pictures and stuff, and someday you could scrapbook the whole thing.

    Aaagh - I'm trying to make you laugh. Honest.

    Gotta go to the dentist, but I feel dumb whining about it now.


  7. Oh dear, to say you have your hands full would be a MAJOR understatement.

    I'm glad to see you still have your sense of humor and are able to laugh because seriously, the alternative in the looney bin just isn't pretty.

    I will pray for your family. I wish I had more like oh, I don't an extra million lying around, but that's it. Hang in there chickie.

    P.S. Don't worry about what "people" will think. I dare the first one to throw a stone that is perfect.

  8. Well, at least you have your secret weapon the magic 8 ball to help you through. Just make sure to carry it with you. That way it'll never get repo'd.

    Hey, send me your addy and I'll send you some chocolate, too. I promise it will be the good kind, too.

    We could at least flood you with chocolate bars.

  9. It all sucks big time. And I won't tell you to look for the silver lining...but...

    I am also one of those people. The ones who ended up in bankruptcy. I don't tell tons of people (my in-laws know, but not my judgmental parents)...but it did happen. I think this year we hit the 5 year mark. When it happened to us it was a crazy mix of emotions...shame, acceptance, relief...a crazy time...but we got through it. Within a year things did start looking up and that started to move behind us. It takes time, but eventually the emotions smooth out too.

    The worst, I think, is having ot move somewhere you hate. That sucks big time. I wish you the best in a smoooth move.

    And you're welcome to vent anytime you want. That's what we all use these things for!

  10. My hub and I will probably be living in Las Vegas someday, even though I hate it too. We could hang out.

    I wish you a whole lotta luck and a whole lotta chocolate, and I love to bake and will gladly join the list of those willing to send you deliciousness. Oh, and we don't know each other, but I swear I won't poison you.

    You should get a P.O. box specifically for sweet offerings from your blog readers, post it here, and just wait for the love to pour in. Seriously.

  11. I'm sitting at my computer laughing and crying at the same time. I'm so sorry. I'm so there. We filed last month. For the same reasons. It is depressing to go though ccc and have them tell you they can't help and have them say, "Have you considered. . .?"

    If you want to get together and vent for a couple of hours before you move, I actually live pretty close. E-mail me. For serious.

    Good luck and my prayers are with you.

  12. Sounds like Sucky McSuckerton has decided to camp out at your house.

    So sorry, Sue.

    Keep laughing. Humor -- especially dark humor -- is one of the best coping techniques.

    That, and sniffing glue. ;-)

  13. Happy belated Birthday.
    Sometimes life just sucks eh?
    I'd bake you a cake but you live in Vegas and I live in Canada, it might not make it in the mail.

  14. Seriously, if you can see the humor in all this, you guys are gonna be just fine. Still sucks though.

  15. Anonymous8:40 AM

    You're right. That really stinks. End of story except God bless--

  16. My husband's truck got repo'd last night. All we did was breathe a BIG sigh of relief and laugh ourselves silly! Not a laughing matter, mind you, but a big load off our backs. Send me your addy (snappyblogs at gmail dot com). I'm gonna send you a care package! It'll all be okay in the end. And if it's not okay, it's not the end. :o)

  17. I am so sorry you and your family are having to go through this.

    But, I love that you and your husband are in it together. You will get through this.

  18. Anonymous8:47 AM

    Ah Sue, that does suck. I'm sorry. Hugs to you and your family. How beautiful that you and your hubby are getting through this together. Looks like you're rich in the ways that count to me.

  19. I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you, Sue. Hang in there. Vent all you want! Is it wrong to say that you still have funny snippets even when you're posting about something so personal and hard to go through? ( I laughed at the Wicked Witch reference. )

    Hang in there.

    By the way, the next time kids are sick in the car, bring a pot with a lid. One of the big ones. It works quite well. I know from experience.

  20. Whelp, even if you are broke at least you're still funny. And that's what matters?

  21. Oh, my, hon. I am sorry you're facing all this. I won't insult you by offering any Hallmark encouragement or whatnot. Just, I'm sorry.

  22. I was just thinking that I missed your posts last night- glad you did and I am glad that you see the humor of it all... hang in there and I have a feeling in this economy- in time- you will not be alone in this adventure...

  23. Suckage to the third degree. The puking in the car? OMG. (gosh, not the other one) Poor me! Promise me you won't move to Vegas without us getting together first? My life will never be complete otherwise. (You were the topic of much conversation on Sat at the blogger get together by the way! All good stuff, I promise. We even thought building an altar to you, but it didn't happen) I don't suppose it would make you feel better to know you are in the same boat without oars as us? 30,000 in medical debt. Ambulances don't come cheap and JJ had no health insurance. Sigh. I look around at our ratty couch, two old cars and think why didn't I max out a credit card or two??

  24. Hmmmm.....that blows. You are such a deadbeat I can't believe it. I'm never talking to you again!

    Prayers coming your way.

  25. Hi Sue,

    I'm new here, and I LOVE your blog.

    About the bankruptcy thing...as long as you have your husband and kids, the rest is JUST STUFF - you can get more stuff later when y'all have your feet under you again if you want to.


  26. I don't know how you do it, Sue...in spite of it all, you still manage to turn out a very amusing story!

    I'll be praying that your move will go well, and that you guys will bounce back from this all very soon(and you will!). You will find that you are a whole lot more resiliant than you might feel currently.

    We have friends whose house burned down several years ago. And they've rebuilt. They've bounced back. Their kids weren't scarred. They always had food to eat and Christmas presents under the tree. And they're still on track for a good retirement.

    All is not lost, girl...you've got skills, you've got faith, friends and family...this is just a blip on the radar screen.

    ((Hugs)) and Prayers, Sue!

  27. Oh man! You have a magic 8 ball?? I want one! Humor will be your saving grace! I am soo sorry you have to go through this! Just keep your chin up so you can breathe! It will get better...
    I will TOTALLY send you some yummy chocolate therapy if you email me your addy... crazylandblog at gmail dot com
    I've got the good stuff!! (jeeze, that sounded a little like a drug dealer...)

  28. I'm so sorry. This sucks big time. Don't worry about your neighbors. You had the guts to do what most of them never will- and most really rich people have filed bankruptcy at least once, so it sounds like you're right on track! Woohoo!

    I would send you chocolate, but I'm can't afford the shipping... or the chocolate. (Seems brokeness runs in the family lately.) So how's about when you get back here we take the kids to the Ethel M. Factory and go through the tour a few times and score some FREE chocolate? You know you want to.

  29. Definitely do not look on the bright side yet. You've earned yourself a good wallow, methinks.

    I was with Dedee through all of what she had to go through with the same experience and it was so heart wrenching not to be able to reach in and fix everything for her.

    I think you'll find yourself on the receiving end of more sympathy than judgment. And anyone inclined towards the latter obviously doesn't know you very well. ~hugs~

  30. Wow.

    That REALLY sucks.

    I think you should just blame the whole thing on your dog.

    At least in Las Vegas, it's warm enough that you won't need to worry about being run off an icy mountain road by an evil milk truck driver, and spend the entire night stuck in 8 feet of snow surviving only on the leftover fries you find under the back seat of your car..............

    I will send you chocolate.

    Lots of it.

    I make these really awesome brownies.

    Hang in there.


  31. I'm so sorry! That does suck.

  32. Oh, I'm so sorry! I hope things get better soon and it won't be long before you can look back on this time and say "wow that sucked, but we made it and we're better for it" or, you know, something like that...
    Just found your blog today!
    Hang in there!

  33. Holy crap. Hang in there is all I can say. And holy crap. And get a really big thing of Chocolate ice cream. (Chocolate is capitalized because it is a very important word). Breyer's if very, very good, I hope you get it where you are.
    I will also say a prayer for you.

  34. Anonymous11:35 AM

    Another day at the office....at least the family office is full of funny, intelligent, kind, and also broke people who will not throw stones or laugh and who love you and yours very much! With free chocolate available to Ethel M, Vegas can't be all bad! And presence of the family makes it even better.

  35. while i was reading that post i was really, really hoping for the just kidding line. i'm so sorry you couldn't add that. amen to what others have said. did you ever think it would be as important to have a strong family as you do now? since you are moving to vegas, here's to playing the lottery. (i don't either, but it sure would be fun)

  36. Anonymous1:18 PM

    Ugh. I am so sorry. And I'm sorry that "sorry" sounds so lame, but seriously, I am so sorry. I'll say a prayer for you. Multiple prayers.

    This isn't a bright side comment, I swear, but several years ago I reached a point where I thought the only thing left was for one of us to get cancer, but nobody did. So there's hope. You can all stay CANCER-FREE.

  37. Anonymous1:19 PM

    I accidentally hit the return key when I meant to tell you good luck. With everything. Seriously--heartfelt prayers for the end of suckitude.

  38. Anonymous1:44 PM

    Damn it. You just brought back the memories of moving back to Michigan in 1992. And you're right. It sucked to high heaven and right back again.


  39. It says a lot that you can still laugh and make others laugh in the face of all this.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  40. I'm here via suburbancorrespondent...I'm sorry for what you're going through. Honestly, I was reading this thinking you were going to say it was a joke. Then I felt bad for laughing all the way through it.

  41. hey - you are not a cautionary tale, unless it is one about trying to be middle class in America - in which case, we are all cautionary tales. Don't take too much responsibility for this - our economy is not our friend right now.
    Email me your address and I will bake you something...I promise.

  42. I can't offer you anything original, just that I'm sorry and I'm praying for you guys. Thanks for having such a great attitude in the midst of this - you're a great example.

  43. I'm so sorry, Sue! That really is a horrible, stressful thing to have to go through. We're in the middle of financial upset too (trusted a scammer and are being sued by a bank after he ran off with the money) and I know how grueling it is.

    And while you're happy that it's not something worse, I've found that it's hard to be open about it because there's an underlying inference that you brought it upon yourselves by being irresponsible or stupid. If someone in your family had a serious health problem you'd get nothing but support and casseroles. But because it's financial, there's the assumption it was preventable and you could have/should have done more to avoid it.

    Sorry, I'm babbling. Maybe I should just blog about this and get it out of my system!

    Anyway, hugs and prayers and whatever else we can do coming your way. You're not alone, we love you.

  44. GOOD GRIEF!! What in the heck is the world coming to?

    You are indeed smart, successful, recourceful, etc. That's why it won't be long before you guys are up and at 'em again.

    I visit the in-laws in Hell's Hole a couple of times a year so I'm coming to see you. Bearing chololate and money, of course.

  45. Oh yeah, happy birthday!

  46. Anonymous5:39 PM

    Dearest Sue, I'm so sorry to hear that you're in dire straits. Like everyone's already said, it's at least lovely that your marriage and family are still in tact and that you'll both still have jobs after your move. I too am in a situation where all avenues have been tried and there is no easy (or even harmless) way out. Sometimes, we just have to eat crow for dinner, I guess. Sounds like you're keeping your head up though, and a sense of humor is, in my opinion, essential n dealing with life's blows. Hang in there!

  47. Dang, woman, there had better be shipments of chocolate and footrubs from attractive gentlemen waiting for you on your NEXT birthday to make up for the crap sandwich this one handed you.

    I'm so sorry you have to move and to a place you dislike so much, but I hope you are able to find some joy there nonetheless and can get your feet back under you, too.

    Maybe you should put a tip jar up on your site? Can't hurt, might help...

  48. You are so not alone in all of this. Here in So. Cal I hear your story a lot. Like every week. We manage residential rental property. Lots of lovely people, losing their homes, filing BK, and ruining their credit.

    They aren't bad people, or stupid. They had hoped for the best, took a calculated risk and it didn't turn out the way they'd hoped.

    What you're going through sucks. There is no other way to paint this picture. You will get through it though.

    No one thinks poorly of you. We'll all be praying for you.

  49. I am glad you shared this with us, and I hope it brings you some comfort to know that MANY others have gone through it as well.

    Keep your family close, and someday you really will be able to look back without gwetting a stomach ache. I promise.

  50. I'm just really sorry you're going through all this. I'm glad you've still got your sense of humor --it will see you through. As you've said, no one has cancer and you and your husband have each other. It is MAJOR suckage but my guess is that by your birthday next year, things will be a lot better.


  51. Life can really suck sometimes, I'm sorry your going through this. Can't say i've gone through exactly what your going through, but financial problems are some of the worse.

    Be strong and hang onto your family.

  52. Not sure how I found your blog, but I love it. Our business also imploded, forcing us to move from Denver to West Palm Beach. Not a move we were looking forward to. But after a couple of years of planning how we could move back to CO, FL has become "home". The hardest part was going from "The Prez" to just another flunky. If only I could do my current job from Denver.....

  53. You'll be in my prayers. Good luck with everything!

  54. Don't apologize for venting. I was wondering about you the last few weeks. My husband is in construction and it's all around scary. To be honest I would rather you rant and rave then go silent - seriously!

    I'm sorry you're moving to a place you hate. Virtual chocolate just isn't the same. I like you if you rent or own, most of the time I'm in my pjs so no judgement from here.

  55. Anonymous8:59 PM

    Aw Sue, I'm sorry. I know you didn't want our pity unless it was in the form of baked goods or chocolate...but I'm giving it anyway. Glad you've got your hub, your kids and your sense of humor still in tact. Hardworking, pioneer-stock, honest people have a way of climbing out of things like this and being ok. Best to you and your family during this tough time.

    p.s. thanks for being willing to share this.

  56. how about till then, i drive you around everywhere? i will ya know. and the baked goods? where do i deliver them sister?

    sending you lots of love and prayers...


  57. Oooh, that definitely goes down as Not A Great Birthday. I'm sorry.

    So help me, when you started talking about Vegas, I was wondering if you were going to say that you played blackjack with your mortgage payment in an attempt to Win Big.

    If you need gourmet Virginia chocolate, you have my email. I'll ship you out a big box.

  58. Oh, Sue - what I love about you is that you came over to my site tonight, read my stupid little post about something rediculous, took the time to leave a comment in relation to that post and all the while ... this is going on in your life!! That shows the kind of person that you are - the kind that - even if for just a moment - chooses to indulge in someone else's little world with grace and kindness!!!

    I'm very sorry - I am - that you are going through this tough time. I like hearing that you have a plan and that tells me you and your husband and your family will work this out and things will get better. A plan is the best way to tackle any problem - a good plan.

    I will keep you in my prayers and pray that God watches over you and helps you and takes some of this burden off of your shoulders. I will pray that he lets you know that you are not alone and that this is not the worst that can happen and that if you need me - I am here. You will be fine - as you say - I have every confidence in the world that if you want to solve this problem - you will do what it takes to solve it. If your husband has a good job waiting and you are able to keep your job - that is huge - right?!

    Good luck and I will see you soon. Kellan

  59. Hi Sue-

    I was so deLIGHTed to see you had a new post. But wow Crap happens (DUH) but I'm so sorry about the tumult.

    Happy Birthday!! Amen with the lady who wrote that you deserve a birthday do-over. oh yikes.

    I hope you feel the LOVE and best wishes on your move.


  60. Oh, duh, I just realized that not only do you deserve a birthday do-over, we, the collective Readers of Sue, have one thing we can give you in this time of just amazing suckitude. (I've been thinking and praying for you almost non-stop because, DUDE, there is only so much stress one person can take before she starts beating the dog and well... I kind of like your dog.) But here it is, ready?

    WE GIVE YOU A YEAR WITHOUT A BIRTHDAY! No, seriously, since this year's birthday was clearly just... ASS...we give you a year in which you do not become one year older. Now, you are younger than I and not so much on the slippery slope of decrepitude, but trust me, you'll thank me later. So, there ya have it--an entire year to tell people that you are exactly the same age you were all of last year. Just ignore the whole thing.

    Of course, when things start going better (and they will) you might have to do a Leap Birthday but we'll let you make that call.

    Everyone with me? Say, "Ai." (Or is that "Ay?" I don't want us to sound like pirates.)

    Thinking of you, Young Sue.

  61. Wow, so sorry. But I am very impressed at how well you seem to be handling it. Yes, there are worse things.

    You will move, you will get back on your feet, everyone will forget about that sign in your front yard, you will be OK.

    Take care.

  62. I'm so sorry!! HUGS! You have to give yourself a pat on the back that you were willing to give it a try and were trying to make a better life for your children... I'm such a homebody and a worry wart I never would have even given it a second thought. And it's got to be a learning experience for what to do differently next time or something, at the very least. I'm sorry things have been stressful for you. Kudos for making the best of things anyway!!! HUGS HUGS HUGS

  63. That sucks. Wallow all you want.

    All the condolences I thought I might say seem silly, though they are heartfelt.

    You've got pluck (as in the noun), so I know you'll be on the upside again.

  64. Oh. My. I feel sick for you. Probably because I'm such a non-adventurous that craves familiarity and security. I would never have the courage to even TRY something so adventurous, so good on ya for that.

    You know what stood out to me? The fact you're finding ways to laugh at this and that your marriage is strong. A lot marriages struggle because of finances. Good to see you're keeping strong.

  65. Oh my gosh, here am I sitting here feeling all depressed and sorry for myself because the business that we started two and a half years ago is providing us approximately 12k a year for our family of 6 and our house payment is a month past due for the 6th time in 12 months and no money coming in until April..(deep breath) and the "B" (bankruptcy) word is bouncing around in my head and the thought of foreclosure makes me want to puke but it's a real possibility and I come across your post.

    You made me laugh about it all which must earn you some special award in heaven. The "good job making a perfect stranger in the midst of a financial panic attack laugh at it all and spill her guts on your blog" award.

    And I'm counting on the assumption that you're completely understanding the freaky rant I just made on your blog because it sounds like you might be there too.

  66. Anonymous9:58 PM

    im really sorry =[
    ..happy belated birthday?
    lol.. things will get better just as you said they would. i just know it =] [hey you're getting material for your blog ;] j/k
    sending good thoughts your way,
    all the way from texas <3

  67. Anonymous10:42 PM

    Ok...so my sister in law sent me your blog link knowing we could relate and can I just say I TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! We are in the same boat...2 houses in Forclosure and just starting the Bankruptcy filing and trying to find a descent rental that will suit our family of 7...kids are 11,9,8,6,4...not happy about moving from their happy home...totally stinks! Family business failed...very bitter...very, very bitter. (Legal drama involved) Totally agree with you on the whole anticipation of seeing a "bank owned" sign in the front yard...so sad. And get you on the whole "well, at least at the end of the day we don't have cancer...knock on wood"...can I just say one more time, I really, really feel your pain. I am a total stranger, but I tell you this with the hope that MISERY LOVES COMPANY. I like that you aren't hiding it, we can all help eachother, even if it's just hearing eachother's vents...since I have no money to offer you, vice versa....LOL! At least we will be cash only...pretty soon the credit crunch is going to get EVERYBODY...we'll be ahead in that game (trying to pretend there's something positive from this) LOL. Keep posting and I'll keep commenting. Me = Big Mouth

    P.S. I am sending you an email with my a link to my own blog.

  68. I have read this post probably 10 times, wanting to post a comment but having no clue what to say!
    I am sorry, too, and if it helps we feel your pain. I know, it doesn't help. It still sucks.I won't tell you to look at the bright side because I don't want you to hunt me down when you get here. BUT, I will bring you chocolate at that time. (I would send it, but, like Wendy, I can't afford the postage)

  69. Anonymous5:45 PM

    Wow. Just. Wow.
    There is nothing more that I can say that the people above me haven't already covered. I just stumbled accross your blog and I want you to know that I am so sad to read this. I hope that someone up there smiles down upon you very soon because nobody deserves to be going through what you are.

  70. MY WORD!

    please tell me they took the car that smelled like puke?

    I hope you get mountains of chocolate.

    (is it bad to mention puke and chocolate in the same comment? I'm thinking it might be..)

  71. Sue, I adore you. Honestly. Just wanted to send you some love.

  72. OK
    I've just read the vast majority of comments on this post and I've noticed something wonderful each of them has in common:

    1. We've all been there - in one way or another.

    2. Nobody has even mentioned the work "poor." Hooray!

    "Broke" is a brief thing. Hell, even The Donald is broke every now and again.

    "Poor" is a state of mind that we live in!

    "Broke" is something that we just pass through. This, too, shall pass!

    That is something that my husband and I have had to remind each other every time we hit a rough patch, and believe me - there's been more than a few.

    Besides, cars and houses and all that stuff is exactly that - STUFF. You can always get more stuff... or you can reinvent yourselves the way you truly want to be.

    You seem to have what more people are trying to get their arms around every day - a happy marriage, a healthy family and a sense of humor! Heck, Oprah has made a career out of helping people find those things!

  73. Anonymous4:50 PM

    BTDT, literally! You'll be OK, promise.

    When you do your after bankruptcy counseling course, do the Dave Ramsey one. You'll learn A LOT and it will help you on the road for the future.

    Good luck and feel free to email with any questions. We're almost 2yrs after our discharge. The road gets better.

  74. realizing you have real little controll of your own life is what sucks! i think you have amazing perspective, probably more than this post lets on...all i know is now that you're goign back to Vegas it is solidified that is where I need to be! any hell hole can be great when you've got cool people to hang with! I LOVE YA!

  75. I came here from... somewhere, I can't remember how I got here (typical), but I just wanted to pipe up and say I'm sorry. This sucks. My fiance and I recently had a restaurant fail and it just sucks so hard. Sucks. And I'm sorry.

  76. girlfriend, that sucks bigtime. ~hugs~

  77. So I don't even know you, this is my first time reading you and seriously if I had won the "millions for life" lottery that we just had up here, i so would have sent some cash your way. Canadian dollars, they are actually worth something these days. Shame I don;t actually have any though.

    So since I have no money, I will wish you the best of luck and hope that all goes well for you in Las Vegas.

  78. Anonymous9:45 AM

    Somehow I missed this post, probably while I was with my in-laws. I am sorry things are so rough right now. You haven't lost your humor, and I hope you get the rest of your sense of self back soon too.

  79. I missed you Sue! I'm so sorry to hear that this is why you haven't been around much lately. I'll send chocolate too (don't have much spare cash to send, sorry!)!

  80. There is life after Bankruptcy. Five years for me know and the earth didn't collapse from the center...

    Thanks for sharing, you never know who's listening!

  81. I loved your title. I could steal that one from you on any given day. I found you through Suburban Correspondent/Bye-Bye Pie. I just want you to know that I can definitely empathize with you. I don't want you to read this and think that I'm feeling sorry for myself or trying to make you feel bad for me. Here's my story just to try to help you feel like you're not alone: I had 3 back injuries in a period of a year and a half. Went downhill from there. I developed fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis from the trauma to my body. I gained 80 pounds in a little over a year. They never figured out exactly what happened to me other than the steriods made me blow up. I don't even know myself sometimes when I look in the mirror. Huge medical expenses from all of this plus I didn't have an income because my short term disability ran out and they wouldn't approve me for long term disability. Then my husband and I built a new home that ended up being built on a unsuitable wet lot that should never have passed inspection. Water to subfloor, hardwood floors buckled, walls cracked, serious mold problems, flooded yard...it took almost four years and $50,000 out of our own pocket to hire an attorney that could get us out of this house. It was beyond painful to go through all of the crap that went along with the lawsuit. They said that they were going to settle and that we had 30 days to get out of the house, so we went and rented a house. They lied. After 7 months of paying rent on the rental house that we weren't even living in (they had not held up to their end of the bargain and bought our house back from us) and trying to pay our mortgage on the bum house (we almost got foreclosed on because we couldn't swing both the mortgage, rent and attorney fees), we had to pay more attorney fees to take the builder back to court to force him to honor his bargain of buying the house back from us. Because of the mold problems from the bum house, I now have to get 4 allergy shots per week. Once again, expensive medical bills. I finally went back to work as a 1099 salesperson. My boss didn't like to pay me, and he still owes me $30,000ish. Who could stand to go through another lawsuit to try to get it from him? I'm not a sue people type of person, but why??, is what I so often asked myself, is this happening to me. I don't want to sue anyone. I just want people to do the right thing. So we finally moved into the rental that we had been paying on for 7 months without actually living there. After a few months, the landlord decided that he wanted to sell the rental house and gave us 30 days to be out. Here we go with another expensive move. We moved into another rental. We ended up moving 3 times in less than 3 years. Expensive!! My brother died very unexpectedly the night before Thanksgiving 2 years ago, my uncle had a stroke the next day on Thanksgiving that has left him basically a vegetable in a rehabilitation home for the last two years, a week later I lost a baby, had to go in the following day for surgery and woke up the following morning not able to move from the neck down. I had to go to the emergency room to find out that I had a reaction to the anesthesia and another uncle died that morning while I was at the hospital. Ahhh...another expensive adventure. Nine months later I was having what I thought was a gall bladder attack, went to the emergency room only to discover that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and losing another child. Once again, expensive. I lost a tube in the process, and haven't been able to get pregnant since. I've had some other expensive tests to try to figure out what's wrong. No money left for fertility or adoption. After having most of our belongings in boxes for the past three years, we built a new home this year. It didn't go exactly as expected. The project was over budget, financing didn't go the way it was supposed to go, and we still owe the builder some money. We are putting out about $1,600 extra a month that we never anticipated. Can't sleep most nights because of that. I can't stand to owe people money. I was finally able to get a good job that was going to allow us to get the builder paid off, but I was let go the other day only 2 months after I started. Bad economy, last hired, blah, blah, blah. There's more, but I am making myself sick just talking about it. We pray a lot!! I have a great husband, and if nothing else, this has made us stronger. Like Stonehenge strong. I hope it gets better for you. Don't ever feel that you are alone. I know you don't know me, but feel free to e-mail me if you ever want to get any of the crap off your chest. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who you don't know that well.