The NieNie Book Contest Ends Tonight

Hey guys, I wanted to remind you - the NieNie book contest ends tonight at midnight US Mountain Time. PLEASE don't forget to submit something if you've been thinking about doing it. If you submit something tonight you don't need to link to the contest (since it's over :>), but it would be great if you would talk about the book and let people know that it will be available to purchase in mid-November.

I'm so grateful to everyone who is participating, and I'm really excited to start making selections and editing the actual book. You can send your contest entries to sometimeslifeisfunny at gmail dot com.

Thanks guys - you're the best.

Whack Job

This weekend, I got my hair cut clean off. It's really short, but with some length on top. I kind of liked it, until I got home.

When I got there, Carter opened the door. He stared at me with an open mouth and said, "Mom, you look CRAZY."

I sort of laughed that off and came inside, then noticed Abby, who was giving me a look that I have not seen since high school - all full of contempt and scorn. She stared at me for a minute, then spat out, "You should not have done that," shook her head and stomped off up the stairs to the playroom.

Sarah was the worst, because I could tell she WANTED to be nice, but could not figure out what to say. She just stood there looking at me dubiously and saying, "Uhhhhhh..........." She eventually just turned around and went upstairs, because I think she realized no good could come of the conversation.

That left my poor husband. Once he stopped snickering over the children's responses, he told me he liked it. "It's nice."

Oh.

Great.

I mean, we all know that when you get a semi-drastic haircut, what you are really hoping for is for your significant other to tell you that it's "nice."

I was in a most excellent mood for the rest of the day. I had to restrain myself from passive aggressively muttering hair related things to the children - "Oh, YEAH Sarah, well at least I didn't try to cut my own BANGS."

The worst was later, when the children came in to my room where I was sulking checking my email, to tell me what they REALLY thought of my hair (now that they'd been coached by my husband). (Nice try honey.)

Sarah: "I like it. It looks nice."
Me: "You don't have to say that."
Sarah: "It's what I really think."
Abby: (continues to stare at me with disgust)
Sarah: "I love you mom. AND your hair."
Me: (looking at my husband) "Stop making them do this."
Carter: "Whack a whack a whack. They WHACKED you Mom. WHACK A WHACK."

I thought it looked o.k., but APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY...

This may only be of interest to approximately twelve of you, but - ARG, I cannot help it, I must post this.

Here's a plot summary for the next Anne of Green Gables movie, directed by Kevin Sullivan, the hack who also gave us the atrocity that was the third Anne movie:

"Anne, now a middle-aged woman, is troubled by recent events in her life. Her husband, Gilbert, has been killed overseas as a medical doctor during World War II. Her two daughters are pre-occupied with their own young families and her adopted son Dominic has yet to return from the war. When a long-hidden secret is discovered under the floorboards at Green Gables, Anne retreats into her memories to relive her troubled early years prior to arriving as an orphan at Green Gables and being adopted by the Cuthberts. Still haunted by her early childhood, the impact of this difficult period has a far-reaching effect on this older woman, once she discovers the truth about her real parents. She begins a delicate search for her birth father." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1063034/plotsummary

She begins a search for her birth father? Gilbert is dead? She's haunted by her childhood? WHAT IN THE -

I am speechless.

Things That Are Making Me Grouchy

• I got in an accident today and put a crack in my front bumper. It would be deja vu, except that this time I was driving the brand new truck. SCORE!
• Bonus: It was all my fault. I was watching the light, and it changed, and so I went, but the car in front of me? Did not.
  
• I got four hours of sleep last night.
• I have a large zit right between my eyes. It's gross, and people can't help but look at it, because it's RIGHT THERE.
  
• The reason I have a zit in the first place is because I tried to wax my own eyebrows. Plucking was taking a really long time, so I got some over the counter strips, because really, how hard could it be?
• VERY HARD. I not only aggravated the skin between my eyebrows, I literally ripped off the skin below my left brow. I have SCABS below my eyebrow now. It is NOT ATTRACTIVE.
• The day I ripped my eye parts open, I had to meet with a group of engineers. My eye was totally swollen, and my wounds hadn't scabbed over yet. I looked like I'd been sucker-punched. The engineers were all concerned about me. I didn't want to tell them how I'd really hurt my eye, so I lied and said my son hit me in the eye with a softball. Unfortunately, since they are ENGINEERS, they were very curious and wanted to know more, like - how did a softball cut your eye, and why is there only swelling on the top, and how come your eyeball isn't all jacked up too, and after a few minutes I cracked and blurted out something like, oh for the love of pete, I WAS LYING, I WAS LYING, OK? They were clearly all thinking that my husband was responsible, so I had to admit the truth. Humiliation.
  
• Now they all giggle when they see me and they keep sending me instant messages saying things like, "Hey, how's that EYE?" I'm guessing that this will not get old for them for a very, very long time.
  
• My son has an explosive poo illness.
  
• I have too much work to do and it's making my imagination die a slow, painful death..
• My kids were dancing to the Prince of Egypt soundtrack this afternoon when "Thus Saith The Lord" came on, which is a really kind of awesomely scary and intense song, and so of course I pretended to be a blind zombie robot (as you do). My daughter thought this was hilarous and fun, and so, egged on, I added scary stomping and very loud crazy singing, which totally terrified my three year old. He burst into tears and sat on my lap, shaking. "You're freakin' me out Mom. You're totally freakin' me out."
  
• Oops.