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(I posted this and then somehow, de-posted it when I went to edit it. Sorry for the confusion. I'm a moron.)
I never got around to sending out Christmas cards this year, but I did write a letter. I dobt I will actually mail it, but I figure I'll post it in all it's cliched glory...
Dear Random Family Member and/or Friend Who Happens To Get This Card (Because We Love You And Stuff But Are Too Lazy To Individually Address This Many Letters),
It’s the post holiday wrap-up here at Chez Smith. I'm hoping to get this in the mail prior to Christmas, and if so, Merry Christmas! If not, Happy New Year. But if things go as rather I expect they will - Happy Valentines Day!
What have the children been up to? I’m so glad you asked. Sarah was recently accepted into MENSA and danced Clara in the Nutcracker. The reviews were amazing, and she has been invited to dance with Ballet West on a continuing basis. Our little Abby keeps busy winning championship snowboarding competitions for her age bracket and is involved in a variety of humanitarian service projects, including helping to fetch and carry bricks and mortar for Habitat for Humanity. Sweet little Carter was picked to be the youngest Oliver in the history of the two hundred year old Alpine Playhouse, and we are so proud of his tremendous musical talent. We've been taking phone calls from agents who would like to represent him.
No, I’m totally lying. I just figured stretching the truth is what people typically do in Christmas letters, might as well make them really GOOD lies, right?
But they ARE great kids. Sarah is six and in the first grade and is our tender hearted little girl, a tremendous reader, and the kindest soul you'll ever meet. Abby is five, and is social and imaginative and fun, and also a little bossy. (I have no idea where she gets the bossy from. Probably her dad.) Carter is three, and is not afraid to bat his long eyelashes to get what he wants. He's very loving and affectionate (thank goodness for his mom, who is a little sad that he’s the last baby we can have). Not that I’m allowed to call him a baby. Because as he reminds me daily, he is NOT a baby, he’s a BIG kid. HUGE. All in all, we think they’re pretty awesome. Smarter than the average bear, cute enough to get away with a lot of stuff, and good enough not to try it all that often.
Not having our stuff together, that was sort of our family theme this year. Our business crashed and burned and we have been circling the wreckage for a while now, but are trying to shake it off. Husband will (if things go well) be starting with the Sheriff’s Department in February, and is currently working as a Foster Care Case Manager. He started running a while back and says he loves it. I am somewhat skeptical. How could anyone love to RUN? Running is good for escaping wild animals and catching naked toddlers, but for fun? Doubtful. It is strange to have him back at work after working with him from home for so long. I really miss having him around.
I’m working for a high-tech company in SLC as a technical writer, mostly from home. I also have a variety of freelance clients who use me for everything from developing weekly eZines and writing web content, to preparing technical bid responses for the government. I started a blog a few months ago, and it's been a really fun way to express myself and meet a lot of other amazing women who like to write. I recently put ads up on it and I’m hoping that eventually, I’ll have enough ad revenue to buy a Slurpee. One can dream.
We hope you had a great Christmas. Ours will be small, but wonderful, because we get to spend it with friends and family. And ya know - the toys will probably be broken in three weeks, but the memories, they’ll last forever. Sniff.
With love...
I think not having stuff together is a very common theme every year for many households. We haven't EVER had our stuff together! As a matter of fact, DAMN IT! Some of my stuff is running off right now! Gotta go catch it!
ReplyDeleteI want a slurpee too!! *lol* BlogHer is taking far too long to get back to me on my approval, though :P
ReplyDeleteBut it's a great letter all around! Sounds like us in many ways. I never ever ever have all my stuff together...although I'll be attempting to do so in the coming year!
Happy New year!
Beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about running... ooh see, I gagged a little just typing it. How on earth could that be enjoyable?
Your kids really are beautiful! Please don't say you took that photo, because it would be too much for me to find out you are fantastically funny, nice, smart, AND a talented photographer.
ReplyDeleteI wish more Christmas letters were like that. Most cause my eyes to roll back in my head from the sheer boredom of it all.
ReplyDeleteA Slurpee sounds good about now. Your family (the real version) sounds wonderful. I agree with the running thing.
ReplyDeleteHeehee. Awesome letter. We got a Christmas letter from some friends of ours that must've been written by the wife: it states what a "wonderful mother" and "extraordinary companion" to her husband she is, but makes no mention of him being a good father or hubby.
ReplyDeleteI think we agreed on sending a St. Patrick's Day letter this year, because by then we might actually get around to it.
I have a prediction... you will write a fabulous book - we will all read it- and you will be on Oprah- and you will tell about that hard year you had... but that it was so worth it - now that you are a millionaire (Because I predicted it... I get a percentage... right... he! he!)
ReplyDeleteYou may have been stretching the truth for now, but next year..who knows? Your kids were in the same room(s) with how many cousins for hours, and no one cried, bled or used weaponry? I would say they are headed for greatness!
ReplyDeleteMerry belated...and Happy New Year! Hope 2008 is great for all you 'Smiths'!
ReplyDeleteHeidi :)
What a perfect letter. I have thought many times about writing a perfectly honest letter with all the horrible details of teenage daughters and difficult times, but I am too lazy even for that, no matter how much fun it would be! Such beautiful children.. seeing them makes me miss the old days when mine were little and cute instead of big and sometimes icky. (Although big has good points too)
ReplyDeleteHeheehhhee! HAWgufawHaW!
ReplyDeleteThis is too funny! How many braggy Christmas letters have I gotten this year? Many. Many. Many. I love your first take. You should have sent that one.
And, running...haw! gigglegiggle.
Nice letter---I love writing Christmas letters, well, actually I make mine into a mock newspaper---and people tell me they look forward to it each year---I hope they're not lying to me! Anyway, Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteROFL! I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at the business 'crashing and burning', but how you described it...bwahahaha! "We've been circling the wreckage...we're trying to shake it off" That's funny stuff, Sue.
ReplyDeleteHope your New Year brings many pleasant surprises and blessings for you and yours!
How very cute. And Honest. I loved receiving your Christmas/New Year/Valentine letter!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year my dear. To you and all of those navel gazers.
Love it all! The pictures and you are so funny and sweet.
ReplyDeleteHaving everything together is overrated. There...that makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteYour letter was freaking awesome.
Beautiful pictures!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
That was a cute letter and darling picture of the kids. It was so fun to see you at Christmas, I'm glad you were able to make it. Your kids are GREAT!
ReplyDeleteWE're supposed to have our stuff together now?
ReplyDeleteI hope your ads make you big piles of money! Happy near year!
Sarah, I heart you, you are way too nice, but oh my gosh, NO, I can't take a picture to save my life. Their pictures were all taken by Maggie Quackenbush, a totally awesome (and cheap) Provo photographer. I LOVE LOVE LOVE her.
ReplyDeleteThat is the BEST letter ever. And the photo.... perfect!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! I just found your blog from Segullah and I have to say I think you are freakin hilarious! Your letter was fantastic!! Love your work, woman!
ReplyDeleteloved your letter.
ReplyDeletehow long have you been freelancing tech writing? i would love do do something like that from home, resumes, etc. but i don't know how to go about finding clients. any suggestions?
I love the black and white photo of your kids! it's beautiful
ReplyDelete