Blogging Under the Influence

I am taking hormones. (Have I mentioned that? Because I am.)

The hormones are a good thing, since they keep me pregnant. My personal view is that this is much better than not-pregnant, despite my nervousness and anxiety about the baby’s arrival and all things exploding uterus.

When they did my initial lab work, my levels didn’t look good. They were indicative of a failing pregnancy and impending miscarriage, a road I’ve been down before and didn’t particularly want to revisit. So the doctor prescribed hormones – the same hormones I’ve taken with all three of my kids.

At my last appointment the nurse had a hard time finding a heartbeat. She was about to give up and call the doctor in to use the ultra-sound machine when she finally found it. I don’t know if I can describe the relief I felt, hearing that reassuring little 'shoop-shoop-shoop.'

So the hormones, overall, are a very good thing. UNLESS you happen to live with me, or run into me in the neighborhood, or interact with me online. Then they are - more alarming.

On Thursday night I got into a huge fight with my husband (who has been tensely chanting “hormones, hormones, hormones” like a mantra (a remember-not-to-kill-her mantra) ever since the day he picked up the prescription - he’s familiar with the level of crazy that usually attends my interaction with this particular hormone).

I can’t remember exactly why we started arguing, (probably something about who ate the last Peep) (HIM) but I DO remember that it ended when I poured a bottle of coke over his head.

Yes.

Did I mention I’m taking some hormones?

Well.

Luckily, my husband is the forgiving sort. (Otherwise he would’ve been REALLY mad after that whole thing where I locked him out after he went outside to cool off.)

The OB in Vegas who handled three of my pregnancies liked to point out that mood swings weren't a typical side effect of the hormone, and he suggested a few times that maybe it was the placebo effect - I was allowing myself to feel crazy because I believed I had an excuse.

I didn't like following his train of thought - this out-of-control feeling was nothing more than emotional self-indulgence run amuck. If he was right, then why could I feel The Crazy ramping up each night after I took my pill? And on the days I forgot to take it, why was I so eerily calm? (I think the calm was more disturbing to my husband than the not-calm. Like waiting for a volcano to explode.)

I felt so vindicated when my new OB told me they've now found that mood swings are a common side effect, and that some women have very heightened emotional reactions. The hormone calms most women down and makes them sleepy, but other women respond differently.

Don't get me wrong - my Vegas OB was a good one. He put me on a hormone therapy that wasn't commonly used at the time - saving those pregnancies and safely ushering my kids into the world. I love him for that.

He sure made me feel stupid though.

It's good to know that I might be irrational, but I have a legitimate, chemically induced reason for it. (At least until I stop taking them in a week or so. After that, it's aaaaaall me.)

Still, I'm swearing off of coke for a while. (I promised my husband.)

I have more to say, but I have to go take my hormones now, and I've made a pact with myself not to blog under the influence.

PS: I don't think I'm going to do Very Funny Friday anymore. I gave it a shot, but it just wasn't working out because:

1. I'm not reliable enough to remember to put up a VFF post on the right day.
2. The graphic annoys me, even though it is exactly what I asked for. I see it and I get annoyed.
3. I don't like having to check to see if people are following the carnival rules, because WHO CARES. But some people do care. I know this because they email me. "Poster #14 didn't follow the rules - you have to delete her post!" But... I don't care. Not enough to delete a post. I don't like being all Carnival Rule Enforcement Officer. It makes me feel twitchy.
   
4. It's hard to come up with a funny post on a specific day - for me and for everyone else too, I think. The funny comes when it comes. I think if I had a 'Mildly Depressing and Cynical Saturday' carnival there would probably be a lot more participation. (Somebody! Run with that! You'll have the biggest blog carnival EVER!)
   

The End.