Let's Talk Some More About Me

My beautimous blog friend Kelly tagged me for a Seven Quirky Things About Me meme, which I've done before - here and here. But frankly, I cannot resist the subject matter (ALL ME, ALL THE TIME) so I'm gonna do it again, sort of. I'm changing it up a little.

Therefore, I give you:

Seven Things I Want

1. I think the whole problem with the way the news media is currently covering the mommy blogging milieu is that they aren't enough news stories about me, or interviews starring me, or enough articles about me being on Nightline (WHY AREN'T I ON NIGHTLINE?!!). Since Nightline has not called yet, I would like to be asked to speak at General Conference, and when I speak, I would like them to flash my blog address repeatedly on the bottom of the screen, like a scripture.

2. I want to start a blog called THE NAVEL GAZER COOKS where I would post all of my recipes and all of my pictures of things I cook, except I think everyone already knows how to make a bowl of cereal, so perhaps also I would give Photoshop tips, and maybe there would be some random pictures of horses or some such. I think that might be a good idea for a blog. Maybe.

3. I want to be thin. Yes. I do. I want to be thin, BUT, and I'd like to make this absolutely clear - I don't want to have to exercise unless I really feel like it (in other words, not often), and also, I want to eat lots of stuff in large quantities.

4. I want those jerks at Dyson to send me a freaking vacuum already.

5. I want to be able to fly using only my arms. This would help me out because I have places to go, but I'm afraid of planes. I don't like being in situations where vehicles are moving around without my input.

6. I would like our bankruptcy to be discharged tomorrow, despite the letter they sent letting us know our case was being "routinely audited." I would like that letter to spontaneously burst into flames. Ahhhhh, the Bankruptcy. IT JUST KEEPS. GETTING. BETTER.

7. In spite of that, or maybe because of that, I want my husband to know how much I love him. (Oh, I know that isn't funny. Whatever. It's my blog.) Seriously - I love you hon.

Remember when we got married - how I had that fit of laughter in the temple right before the wedding ceremony was supposed to start? I couldn't stop laughing, and everyone was staring, and my mom was kind of apologetically saying something about nerves, and you thought I was having some sort of panic attack. The truth is that I was so happy that day, and it just bubbled up out of me for a few minutes. That's still how I feel, even in the tough times. I feel lucky. I feel happy. I'm so happy to be with you, and I love you - no matter what.