Thursday, July 30, 2009

What's the Deal: Thanksgiving Point, Utah: It Was Hot, And Then It Was Hot Some More

Pin It Remember when I said I wasn't going to do any giveaways on my blog?

I LIED, I LIED, I'M A FILTHY FILTHY LIAR.

(Now that we've gotten that out of the way...)

Thanksgiving Point mistakenly invited me and my kids to come enjoy their various attractions for FREE (and then gave me some stuff to give away to you guys) and I immediately caved.

I say mistakenly because as it turned out, the TP people only invited me because they thought I was the woman behind this blog (which I founded, but turned over to other bloggers a few months back and can no longer take credit for), but once they realized their mistake they couldn't exactly uninvite me, so I was IN, BABY. WHEEE!!!!

We were really looking forward to it, mostly because I sort of forgot that the marketing directors, despite being very lovely people, did not actually have the power to turn off the sun or make it Not-July.

We started the tour off in the main gardens, where the kids ran down a big hill over and over again while we bloggers stood around eyeing each other suspiciously. I didn't know a single one of them, so I did that thing where you sort of join the nearest circle and nod your head and laugh in the appropriate places until someone acknowledges you.

Blogger A, talking about the recent BlogHer conference and why she didn't attend: "If I could get a sponsor to pay a thousand bucks to send me, well sure, THEN I'd go."

Me: "If I could get a sponsor to pay a thousand bucks to send me I'd PRETEND to go and keep all of the money for snack cheese."

Thanksgiving Point Marketing Directors: {scratching my name off the future potential sponsorship list}

I will be honest. (Are we supposed to be honest? I'm not sure. I forgot to ask.) Going to the gardens in the middle of the summer is not really the smartest thing in the world to do when you are seven and one-half months pregnant. (WHICH I AM.) We love to go to the gardens in the spring during the tulip festival, but during the summer? With the hot hot hot hot hot sun blazing down upon us? OY.

OY, I SAY.

I will say that the kids were having a blast, mostly because they ARE NOT PREGNANT.

Or FAT.

(See? See the joy? She's fine by the way - the surgery went great and she's all better.)


A little while later we had a nice catered lunch in a shady spot where I met my friend Kalli (who I invited to come along with me before I realized that we weren't TECHNICALLY supposed to invite other bloggers to come with us, but it was TOO LATE, TOO LATE I ALREADY DID IT, NO TAKE-BACKS, and so the PR people had to let her come too).

After lunch they invited us to walk up a winding concrete path toward a water play area for the children, and so we did, sweating buckets all the way but looking forward to the cool, crisp water that would surely be waiting for us at the end of our journey. When we got there the water was TURNED OFF, IT WAS OFF, OH SWEET HEAVEN OUR BRAINS ARE MELTING and so we sat in the shade and poured water from the drinking fountain on our heads and waited for the trolley. Kalli and I talked while the kids scavenged around the dry water feature looking for signs of moisture.

I saw Jane from Seagull Fountain there lying on the grass with her children, and for a moment I was concerned, thinking maybe they had all succumbed to the heat, but they were just resting. PHEW. IMAGINE THE HEADLINES.

NOAH'S ARK DURING A DROUGHT


ME, BACK ON THE TROLLEY, CONTEMPLATING THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH


Next up was the farm. They have a working farm there and it's something my kids and I have visited ever since we moved here back in 2004. They have all sorts of animals to pet and feed, ponies to ride, wagon rides, fun exhibits to play on, classes you can take - this is one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving Point. They kids all got a free pony ride, to wit:

RIDING A HORSE IN A CIRCLE - WHEEEEE!


RIDING A HORSE IN A CIRCLE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED:


RIDING A HORSE IN A CIRCLE AFTER MAJOR SURGERY:


FEELING UP A COW:


STEALING YOUR MOM'S CAMERA AND TAKING PICTURES OF A BABY CHICKEN OR POSSIBLY DUCK OR OTHER POULTRY TYPE ITEM:


KALLI AND HER CHUNK OF CUTENESS, ON A WAGON RIDE, MELTING EVER SO GRACIOUSLY IN THE NUCLEAR SUN:


Poor Kalli. By this point in the tour I was mostly not making sense, rambling incoherently about "LIQUEFYING BRAIN PARTS" and "OH MY BLISTERING ANKLES" and she nicely patted me and said, "Let's go find you a popsicle." And so we did.

After that we hit up the dino museum and the junior paleontology lab, another attraction my kids and I visit a couple times a year. It was a big hit with the kids AND the moms, and not just because of the air conditioning.

See?

DIGGING FOR FOSSILS, BUT "BY JOVE, I THINK I FOUND A BABY!"


MY SON, ILLEGALLY CROUCHING ON EXHIBIT FOLLOWED BY ILLEGALLY LEAPING OFF OF EXHIBIT FOLLOWED BY MOTHER SOMEWHAT UNENTHUSIASTICALLY SAYING "STOP THAT" FOLLOWED BY MORE ILLEGAL CROUCHING


THE EVER POPULAR PLAYING IN MUD EXHIBIT


After the dino museum Kalli left, possibly because if she had to hear me say something about how hot I was even ONE MORE TIME she was going to grab a fossil and shove it in my left eyeball.

This freed me up to make more uncomfortable conversation with other bloggers who were strangely preoccupied with talking about blogging. Incessantly. Blog, blog, blog, blog, sponsor, sponsor, blog, blog, twitter, blog. I realize it was all we really had in common but still.

Blogger A: "I haven't met you yet. I'm ________ from ___________. What's your blog?

Me: Navel Gazing.

Blogger B: WHAT?

Me: (mumbling) Navel Gazing? At its finest?

Blogger A: But your nametag says Borrowed Light.

Me: Yes, well - that's my blog address.

Blogger B (look of horror) Your blog name doesn't match your URL?

And then they would back away quickly, as though I had tuberculosis or the plague or a really low technorati score.

Next we went to a very fun (air conditioned) cooking class, where the kids frosted cupcakes and made chocolate decorations. They gave each of the kids a bag of goodies with aprons and personalized magnets and candy and gift certificates.

We were invited to a nice dinner at the restaurant there, but the kids and I were all exhausted and decided to call it a day. They handed me a gift basket full of fudge and taffy and gift certificates and (WHAT ELSE) BLOG GIVEAWAY ITEMS, which, to be perfectly honest, I was tempted to keep, or at least make up a name for myself and enter my own giveaway and award myself the prize (LUCKY LUCKY WINNER) but I figure the blog police will come and get me if I do that, so instead I will do the right thing and give them away.

Plllbtttt.

I'm giving away the following stuff, courtesy of Thanksgiving Point(see, it's a real giveaway, you can tell by the way I centered it and made it purple):

Four tickets to the Seriously (I'm Not Kidding About This) Fun and Awesome Dinosaur Museum

AND

Four tickets to the Totally Wholesome and Entertaining Farm Country

AND

Four tickets to the Children's Discovery Garden Where The Fountains Will Be Working By Monday And If Not Then Yes, Probably You Will Die Of Heat Stroke On Your Way Back Out Of The Park But That Cannot Be Helped Because One Must Suffer For Nature

AND

Four tickets to the Thanksgiving Point Gardens on the Surface of the Sun

THAT'S SIXTEEN TICKETS.

I debated giving them away to sixteen different people but decided to give all sixteen tickets to one lucky winner. Just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win ALL SIXTEEN TICKETS.
SIXTEEN.
TICKETS.
ALL FOR YOU.
And I'll throw in ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, just for the heck of it.
(That is a lie. I will not throw in one hundred dollars. But you can PRETEND like I'm going to give you one hundred dollars. That's practically the same thing.)
I'm sure by now the marketing people are reading this post and muttering things about my black, black, ungrateful heart, and plotting to send my name and url to all of the other PR people in the valley with a note that says DO NOT INVITE HER, so I will close with a picture of this:


See that? That's JOY right there. You can't purchase joy like that.

WAIT. WAIT! ACTUALLY YOU CAN! YOU CAN PURCHASE IT FOR $3.50 per ticket (or whatever it is they charge). WHAT A BARGAIN.

Seriously, they loved every bit of the day, and I was really happy that we got the chance to go enjoy all of that free fun. The marketing people were awesome and friendly and tried their best to make sure we were all having a great time.

Thanks for mistakenly inviting me, Thanksgiving Point people. (I am highly in favor of mistakes that benefit me personally.) (Attention all PR people: I am also the blogger behind CJane, TAMN, NieNie and Dooce. So if you have any opportunities for those folks, by all means, SEND THEM MY WAY.)

You have until TOMORROW AT MIDNIGHT to enter the giveaway. TOMORROW AT MIDNIGHT. DO NOT SQUANDER THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY.

On another note, I'm actually planning to start blogging again on a (somewhat) regular basis. I even have posts all thought up, with titles like:

"Why Won't My Husband Eat My Chicken?" (not a euphemism)

and

"Ways In Which My OB and I Continue To Aggravate Each Other"

and

"What My Husband Thinks of the Book The Five Love Languages Which I Bought In An Effort To Change Our Love Language To Something Other Than Cracking Jokes At Each Other's Expense And Calling Each Other Dork A Lot, So That Hopefully He Will Not Run Off To Tahiti With Some Non-Seven Months Pregnant Woman Who Fills His Love Tank" (also not a euphemism)

(Actual suggestion from book: "Go to the city park and rent bicycles. Ride until you are tired, then sit and watch the ducks. When you are tired of the quacking, roll on to the rose garden. Learn each other's favorite color of rose and why. If the bikes are too much, take turns pulling each other in a little red wagon." I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Despite this suggestion, which caused my husband to snort so loudly he almost had a brain aneurysm, the book had some valid points. Note to husband: SERIOUSLY, IT DID. ALSO, YOU LOOK QUITE SHARP TODAY*)

*This makes sense if you have read the book.

So long, farewell, I am off to crouch in front of the air conditioning vent.

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144 comments:

  1. OOO pick me, pick me!! I want to go to Thanksgiving Point! It's been taunting me all summer with is dinosaurs and animals! By the way, I think you are hilarious!! I'm Sarah from The Organized Mom by the way, since we all have to announce our blogs, and talk about our blogs non-stop now. :)

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  2. I'm not entering your giveaway because I live on the opposite end of the continent from you. BUT, I still had to say that you make me laugh out loud. It's good to see you back and well, not REALLY melted.

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  3. I'm fine with winning. Really.

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  4. I'm always happy to see a new post - I am a quiet, but persistant stalker...I mean, reader, and love following your stuff! I especially love the possibility of winning a Thanksgiving Poing prize, with the high hopes of having something exciting to entertain my household of children with. Summer is great fun, but we need something new to do! Pick me, Pick me!!!

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  5. My son doesn't get to go outside very much because I'm on the computer too much. So he deserves those tickets. Pick me.

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  6. Thanks for a new post. I now have mik running down my chin from snorting it all over because of your future post titles.
    I can't enter the giveaway--nowhere near Utah--but hope the prize goes to someone with Teflon skin.

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  7. This new to Utah blogger, who will never be witty enough to gather such a following so I can be invited to such events "for freeeeee", would love to win these tickets!

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  8. Count me in. Glad you didn't die of heat exhaustion or stroke or a bug bite.

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  9. I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant too...so ThanksGiving Point sounds like a ton of fun with my 3 kids. I hope I win!
    Laura, Stansbury Park

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  10. I would love to go to Thanksgiving Point - pick me! And I love your blog, too, by the way. I come here when I need a good laugh. :)

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  11. Wow, that was hilariously wacky. And hot. No, I don't want to be entered in the giveaway as I am certainly not going anywhere eight months pregnant. And how is it that you're further along than I am but you're suddenly only seven months along and I'm eight? Is your OB having difficulty with your calendar?

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  12. verrrry funny.

    i think i would like to go and suffer in the heat...but only for my fun deprived kids.

    that's the kind of mom i am.

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  13. Having been VERY pregnant myself last summer--in HOT and HUMID North Carolina no less--I totally understand how being out in the sun in July is not all that fun.

    I think I should win because well, just because. :-)

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  14. We would love this! We just moved down here from SLC. I'm glad you're back.

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  15. I just love you and your ability to make me laugh. Yay for more blogging from you.

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  16. You are a good mom. I would never take my kids out in this pre-hell heat.

    But, maybe my heart would be softened if I won those tickets!

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  17. pick me! pick me! I have never one anything ever!

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  18. OOooo. I would love those tickets. And I have 3 bottles of sunblock (since I buy a new one whenever I can't find the last one.) In fact, by the time you read this, I might very well have another bottle. So, see? I'm all ready for the sun. Plus we have hats.

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  19. Yay! She blogs! I'm not entering the give-away because I live in Michigan, although I am coming your way in three weeks to return my daughter to BYU and will be driving by your I-5 exit (and Thanksgiving Point) at least 6 times, but I am glad you are thinking about blogging. Oh, and if you had a give-away for that book, I would totally enter!

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  20. Enter me, enter me! And give me 100 dollars! Or not...but still enter me.

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  21. I loved reading this... and oddly really want to go see for myself. We've never been there before. You look great and like your uterus is doing good!

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  22. 1. First of all, you are a serious crack up!
    2. Second of all, I want your free stuff.
    thanks.

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  23. I don't want the tickets. I could care less about Thanksgiving Point (seriously, I live in Idaho...why would I drive all the way down to Utah to rot in the heat? I can do that here!), but I would like having a ride in a red wagon. Is that an optional prize?

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  24. Ha! Seriously that cracked me up. But also...I would love your free stuff!

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  25. I started a blog with a URL that was a clever play on my last name -- and then I decided not to publish our last name on my blog. I feel so totally validated that your URL and blog title don't match either.

    And I would love those tickets, because I AM NOT PREGNANT.

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  26. Oh. Yes! I would LOVE some tickers for these Thanksgiving Points stuffs!(Also not a euphemism... holy SMOKES you slay me!)

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  27. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
    what does dooch (er, dooce) have over you?! NOTHING!!! I declare it.

    And ohh em gee, this has only been up for like one hour, and you alreday have more comments than most bloggers accrue in a month of pouring out their deepest and darkest. you may only post once a blue moon (which, i am naturally partial to), but at the present moment, you have 1006 subscribers JUST IN GOOGLE READER. so put that in your pipe and...well, just put it there, you preggymommy.

    we moved to SLC three years and three weeks ago (not that anyone's counting. i love it here) for my DH to attend medical school for his midlife crisis...which threw us into poverty and debt and has forced me to live with such frugality that i've never actually been to that whole TP thing. I've driven by it a couple times, but heard it was like an amusement park money sink...which may not be true but i've avoided it at any rate.

    still, if i magically win this grand package (does it include accommodations and airfare for two? j/k) i'll swing by your house and bring you some of my unbelievably scrumdiddilyumptious english toffee when i pick up the tickets. and i'll fold your laundry. and fan you while feeding you peeled grapes (not serious on that peeled part).

    and then we can be real life buddies, instead of it all being in my head like it has been for the past 7 months.

    hugs & best wishes for the last 6 weeks!
    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  28. PS: i still ♥ Cordy

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  29. I'll enter, even though you're not going to include the hundred dollars.
    Nine summers ago, I was INCREDIBLY pregnant, and it was a really hot summer. A lady at church saw my discomfort, patted my huge abdomen and said "Oh honey, just look at it this way, this will be one long, miserable summer for you, but it means a lifetime of outdoor birthday parties!"
    And just the thought of me and my husband taking turns pulling each other through the park in a little red wagon, made me laugh so hard that I nearly fell off my chair."

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  30. Um...I want the tickets, really, I do and I hope I win but...


    ...do I have to use them this summer? Because although I'm not 7 and one half months pregnant, I feel like the rest of me may melt like my brain did last week when I thought it would be SO! FUN! to go see dinosaur bones in Vernal and there wasn't a bit of A/C there. And then yesterday I thought it wise to go to the zoo and use that membership we've forgotten to use and the entire valley was there and a hawk flew into my head during the bird show and there wasn't any A/C and I just don't think I can handle anymore fun outside time.

    But TP dinosaur museum sounds right up my alley.

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  31. I love your overheated pregnancy banter. And calling someone a dork SHOULD be one of the love languages; if not, my marriage might be cold and empty (not a euphemism, even though that doesn't make sense here).

    I live far away, but I'd still love to enter, as long as we could share it with loved ones who live close by (to Thanksgiving Point, of course. It would be stupid to give it to people who live close to me). Thanks.

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  32. I want to go to Thanksgiving Point for Free. What doesn't kill us makes for a killer blog post!

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  33. I love you. (How's that for a language of love?)

    Glad to see things are going well, especially that cute girl of yours.

    And at least you only have one and one half months left of your *condition*. That's something, right?

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  34. I am guessing the PR people will not be inviting you next year heh heh

    Pick me!

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  35. You're back!

    I hope I win!

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  36. Sue!!!

    It was so hot, and I am not pregnant (but check on the fat part ;P) and it was really, really hot.

    But hey, it got you to post again, so I say it was all worth it.

    Am waiting for the (not a euphemism) posts!!!!

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  37. I want to win these and I will take my kids and other sundry kids when I come up in October.

    Also, my love tank hasn't been filled in a fortnight.

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  38. Yay! You're amazing!

    I love the joy pictures ^-^

    You made me snort. Seriously? A little red wagon?

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  39. 16 tickets? That's a lot of Thanksgiving Point-ing. But I'd do it. If I won.

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  40. Enter me! Hey - you would probably get more entries if you opened up your comments to everyone (not just google account people), but then you'd probably have to deal with non-accountable crazies, huh?

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  41. I love you. So. Much.

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  42. me and all my friends' kids would have a blast.

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  43. Be still my heart. . . you ARE alive! Oh how wonderful. You are the funniest woman on the planet! Tickets would be nice, but I'm content having the thought that you might post more :)!!!

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  44. I'd love to win for my grandkids.

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  45. Hilarious. my kids would LOVE this.

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  46. euphamism.....ROFL! Sue, you are the best. Also I'm not entering because I don't live anywhere near Thansgiving Park or whatever it is and soem poor soul who does live in Utah, I'm guessing, should get those tickets instead. No offense to the poor souls who live in Utah.

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  47. Not that my brain needs any more boiling, but hey, free is free. I'll take it.

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  48. I'm in. Winning this would mean not having to brave TP on their 2 dollar tuesdays along with every other mom in the entire state. And I could really go for that. . .

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  49. ooooooooo, gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme ...

    p.s. you're braver than i am. i was pregnant last summer and we didn't do a single thing outside unless it involved a swimming pool. my poor, deprived children...

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  50. Those poor Thanksgiving Point PR girls, they did a really good job and trying to make me feel like I wasn't totally crashing their mjaor blogger party. I mean after all, my technorati score is pretty much a zero I think. I don't even know what that means...

    I love you, in all your melty gestating glory. Plus your kids are cute. BONUS!

    PS YOU FILL UP MY LOVE TANK!

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  51. I kind of don't want to win because of my own recent experience with petting zoos and wallaby smacking, but since there probably aren't any wallabys, I will enter. Now that my in-laws are moving to Cedar Hills, I will be in spitting distance of your house more often and I.will.spit. No, I won't. But I will come visit you. Maybe. If I win TG Pt tickets, I probably won't. I'll go visit the poultry type things instead.

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  52. You crack me up and I miss your posts :) So glad you are thinking about coming back on a somewhat regular basis.

    oh, and ya... when you decide to give ME the prize instead of all these OTHER pretend people here, I promis you good karma (really! Amazing prize,eh?... no? well then I guess you can Suck It Trebek!)

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  53. Sue, I love you on so many levels. And yes, I have tried to be all Love-Languagey but it turns out more like "Oh honey, you are...uh... so helpful in the kitchen. *snort.**giggle.* Please do not put the milk in the pantry, you lovable idiot."

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  54. You made my day. Can't use the tickets cuz I'm busy melting in Washington, but You. Made. My. Day.

    Thanks!

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  55. Lisa L. from Ogden4:19 PM

    I'm so glad you opened your comments up to us poor blogless folk. I really hope I win, we've never been there before and the dinosaur museum looks very fun! Glad you're back to blogging!

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  56. tee hee...just stepping out the front door has been too much for me lately....congrats on survivial

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  57. Chelsea W.4:25 PM

    I would love to win. Love that even on a giveaway post you entertain us.

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  58. Rita T.4:30 PM

    hope I win!

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  59. This is my comment. I hope it wins! My kids love Dinosaur museum, that would be so cool!

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  60. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  61. Thanks for a well-needed laugh. Glad to see that you're still alive. I made my husband listen while I read excerpts of this post out loud to him, including the part about the little red wagon.

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  62. I would love to win all those tickets please!

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  63. I'm not entering because I live too far away to use those tickets. Although it seems to me that there was some fudge and other bags of goodies mentioned, and hmmm, maybe you should have given those away to us, your faithful readers who have waited - what? - a month for you to post, rather than eating it all yourself. Hmmmph.

    No one's ever invited me anywhere, even by mistake. It's reassuring to hear that maybe that's a good thing. And (don't tell anyone) my url doesn't match my blog title, either. Good to hear from your corner of the blogosphere again!

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  64. Loved your post. You crack me up! I'd love to win, it would give me an excuse to come see my brother in Provo and share the wealth.

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  65. You're Alive!!! Whew! I was beginning to think I was going to have to take your linkey off of my ever so popular and oh so private family only bubble gum blog in which I can only dream of being as witty and thought provoking as your roundness (referring to your burgeoning belly). AAAHHHH glad I got that off my chest, oh, and also - we're (meaning the fam) going to be taking a trip back home (a.k.a. ZION) in a few months and would LOVE to go to all the free ticket events for Thanksgiving Pointe, which was not nearly as cool four years ago (last time we were in Zion) as it seems to be now.

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  66. I'm definitely a stalker but I would like to win some tickets!

    COMMENT

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  67. I really thought you were gonna throw in a hundred big ones. My mouth dropped and everything. I am so gullible.

    And I can't wait to hear about the chicken that sounds mysteriously like my own..........but much funnier, I'm sure.........

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  68. Everytime I see your blog on my Reader page, I think to myself "SELF!! It's SUE!!! Yay! She's blessed us with more nuggets of hilarity." :) Seriously. Or something like that. lol

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  69. By gum, Sue, you have made my day! I needed a laugh more than I can say. Some day in the distant future when God shows you all the cool things you've done to help people, you will see this moment and realize what a glorious thing it is to have made me laugh. Thanks.

    No give away for me. I live too far away.

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  70. I live right next to thanksgiving point. I would love these tickets!!!!

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  71. I love your blog. You are so funny! I'd love to win! :)

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  72. Lynn S.7:14 PM

    I love the gardens but haven't been to the other parts. I hope I win!

    That book is corny but you are right it has a lot of good things in it. It helped my husband and I relate to each other a lot better.

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  73. Oh Sue, I love you and we love TP also! Although we have never been to the dino museum. I have always planned to go but never get around to it. (Bad Mommy!)

    Glad to see you are alive and well and hanging out in front of the AC. I had a baby in August, it was hard! I feel for you!

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  74. Oh, my kids love Thanksgiving Point! It's so much fun. Pick me!

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  75. NieNie and Dooce got nothin' on you...

    I always forget when I read your stuff I need to put on my Depends first. I usually can't make it to the bathroom fast enough when I pee my pants from laughing.

    My washer thanks you.
    :-)

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  76. I don't actually want the tickets (since I live in Texas) although technically I guess I am visiting in August, so what the heck, enter me up.

    Anyway. I tried to tell my husband that if he wants me to speak his love language (which as far as I can tell is entirely made up of sex) then he needs to speak my love language (which right now means load my damn dishwasher). No go.

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  77. Sue, thanks for reminding me how much I love you. I love you. (Wait, which language was I supposed to say that in? I choose: FRENCH.)

    My comment is threefold:

    1. My sister gave us a year-long pass to Farm Country two Christmases ago and I haven't used it yet once. Now you know how bad of a mom I am. I did find out it doesn't expire until a year after the first time I use it, so I'm shooting for 2013 and by then my card will be VINTAGE.

    2. Last year we took our kids to Washington D.C. as soon as school got out; we wanted to go as early in the summer as possible to avoid the late-summer heat. They had a freak heat wave and it was 102 while we were trying to see the national museums. In all our photos my face is bright red and soaking wet, but the photos don't begin to do justice to how sticky and wilted I was feeling. (I wasn't pregnant, but I'm always well-insulated.) This year we figured we'd go to Seattle where it would be nice and cool. We're leaving next week. And yesterday Seattle broke an all-time record and got to 102 degrees.

    3. I followed someone's link to the quiz on the love languages website and tried to take the short quiz but was finding it really really difficult. I finally realized the reason I was having such a hard time choosing answers to the questions is that I was thinking, "Actually, any of these would be nice . . ."

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  78. You can give them all to meeeeeeeeeee....(even though I don't technically live in Utah, although I visit there enough that I probably should just move anyway and the IKEA play place is getting a little old....)

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  79. Excuse me for not finding something witty to say... I've been at the Park City soccer tournament all day scrambling after my 3 kids who aren't playing soccer and watching my one kid that is in the tournament- not play and sit the bench. We need a fun diversion!

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  80. Anonymous9:42 PM

    Too bad I don't live in Utah, this sounds fun. The eat my chicken thing made me laugh like a nutcase.

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  81. Excuse me for not finding something witty to say... I've been at the Park City soccer tournament all day scrambling after my 3 kids who aren't playing soccer and watching my one kid that is in the tournament- not play and sit the bench. We need a fun diversion!

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  82. I likey the TP.

    My husband snorts at such things regularly. And I have not even read that book.

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  83. It is weird to leave a comment because I have been "lurking" for the last week or so. In fact, if I don't pass the Bar I might blame your blog (just kidding). I found your blog from sothethingis and read an entry or two (I find Barb funny, she likes you...) and then got hooked. Anyway, I live too far away to enter the giveaway, but wanted to say - now that I have read all your archives up to now - you are really funny, and I wish you the best in the pregnancy. I had a baby boy in February that was 6 weeks early, and went through a really tough time with that (he is healthy and happy now). I have never made a blog friend (only my family reads my blog cause it is primarily baby pictures, though now that law school is over maybe I will enter the real blog world...) but am happy to send you good thoughts and healthy baby vibes.

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  84. OK, ignore my double comment for purposes of the giveaway, but I can't believe it's been a few hours (on a Thursday afternoon mind you), when you haven't blogged in over a month, and it's a very locationally specific prize and you already have 86 comments. You are truly a freak of nature (but I mean that in the nicest way possible).

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  85. Melissa (Orem)10:04 PM

    Eighty-SEVEN.

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  86. Please don't not pick me because I normally hate leaving comments but am just leaving a comment to win a prize! It's just that my kids have been begging to go to the dinosaur museum forever and ever. I read your blog faithfully, and am so disappointed when they are few and far between. I'll try to be a better commenter from now on. From Debbie down the street (not Olivia, my daughter- who apparently has a google account and I don't?)

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  87. Nice to see you back. I live 800 miles away, so don't enter me in the giveaway. I was just thinking about your blog today for some reason, and wondering when you'd feel up to posting again. Loved it as always.

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  88. Was Thanksgiving Point moved to Las Vegas or the Sahara Desert recently? I thought I passed it on my way to your house yesterday. A former desert girl should take 90 degrees in stride....oops, except when 7-1/2 months pregnant. Maybe next year.
    PS: do not give me any free tickets, but the pretend $100 would be nice since we are going to be judged by the intents of our heart.

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  89. Thanksgiving point should provide a golf cart with air conditioning, blasting away, for pregnant women. And then they should serve you dinner on route. And then they should be happy to have free advertising from your funny blog. Seriously, they should.

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  90. And how, pray tell, do you manage to have this much verbal energy after that much dang heat? Obviously, pregnancy aside, you are younger than I am. I am wondering if you have had rubber walls installed in the house for times like this, so that when you bounce, you won't hurt the baby? But what lovely bouncing you do. I am a little hurt that they didn't invite me. After all, I just found out today that I'm being translated into Chinese. Not my blog, though. Maybe the fact that while I rake in an average of four huge comments for every blood-and-guts-invested entry, you can simply bat your eyelashes and come up with ninety in ten hours.

    But then, you're funny. And clever. And not obscure. Which seems to help. And I wouldn't have gone to TP with my kids anyway, because I don't have any any more. And truly - if I win (oh, yeah - like I ever have won anything but the roller skates I got away with when I was ten), I'd rather have the basket of treats, thank you very much.

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  91. OK, it's actually 20 minutes after midnight, but hey, I'm sitting here in the MIDDLE of the night posting comments on your blog to win all these fabulous Thanksgiving Point tickets, so that ought to be good for something. I totally love that place, even if it is boiling hot. Global warming anyone?

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  92. Nice to hear from you again! And so glad that your daughter's surgery was successful & that she is doing well.

    My url doesn't match my blog name either. Maybe the blog police will just miss us, eh?

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  93. You're cracking me up!!! Oh and enter me in the contest too please.

    AND I've been meaning to email you for about three weeks now to ask how Sarah is. (Because I feel a little bit responsible for her (in a sugical capacity) still.). So I'm glad to see (hear) that she's doing well.

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  94. Awesome giveaway.

    I'm glad you didn't completely melt in the heat, we would miss you.

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  95. Anonymous9:18 AM

    I couldn't use the tickets because I live in Texas, but since your comments are FINALLY OPEN to us non-googlers, just wanted to say thanks for all of the laughs. Hope you'll keep blogging.

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  96. I'd like to remark that Blue's toffee is the stuff of legends. I should make some tonight.

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  97. Pick me! Pick me! This would be a great activity for my family when my husband comes home from Iraq!

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  98. I've never been to thanksgiving point PLEASE PICK ME!

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  99. A hundred and one comments...does that mean I'm lucky?

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  100. I've missed reading your blog--you always make me laugh :)

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  101. Love to read your blog-I check all the time to see if you've posted!! Would love to win those tickets!!

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  102. Oh my goodness, a chance to have my brain melt in the sweltering heat while my two year old makes a mess of the place? Can I pay you for the tickets? I think so I can understand your pain (I am 5ish months pregnant) and relate to you better you should just forget about everyone else and pick me. Seriously. Do it. Me.

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  103. Sounds like a great day! Even if you weren't supposed to be there. I'll take a turn...

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  104. I love love love your commentary! So funny! I want to win. I really do.

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  105. I'd love to be entered into the giveaway!

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  106. Thanks for blogging!

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  107. Actually, I'm ambivalent about the tickets—I'm just here to announce that YOU are a winner. Total winner. Thanks for the caring note on my blog. xo

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  108. Pick me, pick me, pick me!! My three little joys would love to do all those things!!

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  109. Is it sad that even though I live in Utah I have never been to Thanksgiving Point? We talked about it when my youngest was in NICU at Utah Valley but just never made it. So I would love to be considered. Thank you and please.

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  110. Pick me! Sounds like a great day. Even if it was hot. I'd like those tickets.

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  111. MMB was your brainchild, so you still get credit.

    And COMMMMMMMEENNNTTTT! I wanna win!

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  112. Pick me pick me!

    Lizzy

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  113. Nearly woke the children with my stifled giggles (which made them sound like snorting instead).
    Glad to see a post from you!

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  114. I so enjoy your blog, and found out about it from my sis-in-law Kara!(your kids nanny) Thanks for all the laughs!

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  115. "not a euphamism"...
    *hahaha*snort*hahaha! My kids are shooting their puzzled glances at me wondering what the heck is so funny. It's you. I can't wait to see you in 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!

    ps enter me in the contest. and let me win even though I dont live there

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  116. Totally pick me, please!! I REALLY hope it's me!

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  117. Ok, I know it's past tomorrow (yesterday?) at midnight, but just in case it's not too late, I'm here in Utah for a few days, having driven my 4 children some 800 miles in order to attend a wedding and visit loved ones on a tight budget, and boy howdy would my youngest (4 on Thursday) LOVE to see the dinosaur museum!!

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  118. Just found you completely randomly and me likey. Will be blurking around a bit, don't mind me.

    And I hate giveaways, so please, don't even drop my name in the hate. For reals.

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  119. Sure, go ahead and have a giveaway the one weekend I have something better to do than check blogs.

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  120. Did I miss the deadline? We were just up at TP. I was melting...melting I tell you...but we'd go back FOR FREE!

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  121. No giveaway stuff for me, but holy cow, I laughed SO HARD just now. Thanks!

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  122. I just found you and missed your giveaway! I want free stuff!

    by the way, my url doesn't match the name of my blog either...Im a rebel like that!

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  123. Good to see you're alive, no baby yet? Phew. I hate it when your uterus explodes. Oh, and I didn't want the damn tickets anyway.

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  124. Ooooo, pick me! We are moving to Happy Valley in 2 weeks and we'll needs something to do while living in my brother-in-laws basement (waiting for our new house to be finished).

    P.S. I love all your posts ... and I'm not just saying that to be a kiss-up. =)

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  125. Oh, it's only like 5 days late, so if you should be late picking a winner, please please please put me in the drawing, I've been neglecting taking my kids anywhere all summer and I need to make up for lost time.

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  126. I know I am too late, but I wanted to let you know...

    I have missed you. Glad you'll be back around more often.

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  127. I'd love to win, but only if airfare is included. No? Dang it. Skip me then.

    Had to say though - huge, mondo big sympathies on the liquefying in the heat thing. I did that in Vancouver this past weekend, slowly dissolving into a pile of goo, HOT goo, while people chatted amiably around me about wow, a record high today! Faugh.

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  128. Ok, I can't go there, so don't enter me, but DAMN this was a funny post!

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  129. If we win, my kids and I will take your advice and wait until fall to use the free tix.

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  130. Uh... is it over? Did I win?

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  131. Oh, how I love your posts. Sniggered and snorted (and might even have wheezed-laughed a couple of times) my way through the whole thing.

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  132. I wonder what happened to the tickets. Did they melt? Please, tell me they did not melt!

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  133. i love giveaways. i love thanksgiving point. i love you :))) yay for being mistaken for someone else!

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  134. I don't want to win...but this post cracked me up. You are funny!

    Remember when we first met? At Mimi's? And I was eyeballing you and you were eyeballing us and then you started texting and so I opened my phone and pretended to start texting too and maybe we were both texting the same person or not.
    I didn't care one ratsass if your url matched your nametag or blog. I was just glad we figured it out.

    Happy gestating.

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  135. You continue to be seriously funny, even at 7 months pregnant.

    I keep coming back just to see what you will say and dear, Lord, you do say it. A lot of it. Sometimes maybe you shouldn't say it. But you do.

    And I laugh, so it is worth it.

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  136. betty7:16 PM

    Thank you for your wonderful , insightful blog-Betty http://geothermalquestions.net

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  137. Have you had that baby yet? Who won the tickets?

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  138. I'm new to blogging. I've been reading some of your posts. I'm confused when you say you founded your blog, but then turned it over to other bloggers. The posts look like they are written by you, are they not? Please explain.

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  139. Which love language involves riding in wagons??? I'm pretty sure neither of us have that love language. Thank goodness.

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  140. Hi!

    I'm Anne Stephanie Cruz, one of your blog followers. I work for www.ownadaycare.com, it's a site dedicated to giving useful information and advice to people who are passionate about having their own daycare business - but don't know where or how to start.

    Anyhow, I sent you this email to ask if you would consider having me write a guest post on your blog. It can just be a short article about child care, parenting and daycare, setting up a daycare center - or really anything that you might find interesting.

    Please let me know what you think. Thanks in advance!


    Sincerely Yours,

    Anne Stephanie Cruz
    www.ownadaycare.com

    Steph@Ownadaycare.com

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  141. Ahhhh. Cherish these moments before the kids end up in drug rehab, or maybe they won't. I've had friends who raised their kids near perfectly, but you can only do so much to push them in the right direction before pesky free choice takes over.

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  142. I have now laughed until I had tears streaming down my face. Thank you. I needed the good laugh today. Thank you. :)

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