Pin It You are probably thinking about how best to achieve world peace.
But also, ALSO, you are probably thinking, "Geez, Sue. What's the deal with the freaking blog makeover? How long are you going to force us to look at those infernal clouds?" (This probably keeps you up at night.)
Listen. I'm SORRY. I KNOW. Here is the thing about having me work with a blog designer. The process goes kind of like this:
"So, Sue, what would you like your blog to look like?"
"I don't know."
"What colors do you like?"
"All of them. Except orangey-red. For obvious reasons."
"Do you want a cartoon person at the top?"
"Yes. No. Probably no. I don't know. Maybe yes. No."
"OK, I'm not really getting a sense of what you want here."
"Help me out here, Sue."
"Make it look nice. Something nice. Cute but not too cute. Modern but not too modern, because I don't like really modern things. But also not scrapbooky. It should just make you think of my blog. You should look at it and think, yeah, that's it."
"Uh - "
"Read my archives, then it will probably just come to you. Like in a vision."
"When could you have that done by, do you think?"
She offered to give me a whole new layout, but the sheer number of "what-do-you-want-it-to-look-like" oriented decisions I'd have to make if we did that was making my brain pressure high, so I told her we'd just stick with the header for now.
(Speaking of strep (see how I snuck that in there, even though we were not actually talking about strep? SNEAKY): My doctor prescribed me something called Magic Mouthwash to make my throat stop hurting, but I'm afraid to take it because the pharmacist said it would make my tongue numb and to be careful or I might accidentally bite my tongue off. I was having visions of accidentally chewing my tongue to a bloody stump without realizing it, so I decided not to take it.)
(Also I'm suspicious of medications that contain the word "magic." It's a little too old timey and peddlerific for my liking. "Where's the COW, Jack?" "I sold him for five magic beans and some Magic Mouthwash, Mother." "You FOOLISH BOY." My throat is KILLING ME right now.)
Currently the blog designer is waiting for me to tell her what my new tagline is. I need a new tagline because of the whole "stupid dog" issue. It is apparently not kind to continue to refer to your stupid dog as a stupid dog after you've sent said dog to live with old people (old people who do not have children to bite). It makes people think you are filled with dog-hate.
(And even if you are filled with post-stupid-biting-dog-dog-hate, you should not admit to this, because then people think you must be a CAT person, but really cats suck even MORE (if that is possible), and if you admit to disliking cats and dogs (and generally anything that sheds or makes you itch in uncomfortable places), people just think you're a weird animal hating CRETIN, because everyone likes animals except for YOU, you horrible woman.) (Although really, I don't mind dogs OR cats, as long as they stay out of my house.)
So, long story short - I've been trying to think of a new tagline. All I've come up with so far is "It's Not About Oranges" which is kind of - not catchy. Help me out here... If you have any ideas for a new tagline, I'd love to hear them.