If you've pictured me lying around on the couch this week, sick and feverish and pale, you would be wrong.
I'm actually lying on the floor, sick and feverish and pale. Come on. Nobody's gonna believe you're sick if you're sitting up on the couch like a pansy. Get with the overly dramatic program.
I think I'm starting to be mostly over whatever this is/was. I can tell because instead of moaning and covering my face when my husband turns the TV on, I actually feel the urge to watch it now. Granted, it's through the cracks between my fingers on the hand that is lying across my eyes, so that he will understand I'm not really better yet, not by a long-shot, and as a matter of fact, watching television is taxing enough that it is actually a trial and a sacrifice, but I do it for him, because I'm a giver.
Actually, this is just what I wish happened. In reality, we have jobs and children. Sucking it up is kind of required. Lying around like a drama queen is not exactly on the itinerary.
Except at night when my husband is home and I can harumph about how I can barely move because I had to take the kids to school and to piano and get my work done and make dinner (pouring cereal is exhausting), all whilst practically dying of Dengue fever. So it's sort of on the itinerary. It's actually blocked out right there from 7:30 to 8:15 actually. It's my husband's favorite part of the day.
I did trick the kids into waiting on me the other day, telling them we were going to play "a game" called "the rich sick lady and the orphan servants" and they were to bring me pillows and drinks and snacks and generally see to my every need. I'd ring the bell and they'd come running over to the couch to do my bidding, then creep around quietly afterward, lest the "mean rich lady" punish them for making too much noise. I would periodically yell at them "NOT ENOUGH ICE IN THIS DRINK" and send them to the dungeon (basement), and they would run screaming and giggling for the stairs.
They LOVED this game.
Yeah. We plan to play it again. Obviously.
Lighthearted indentured servitude = good family times.
We've played similar games at our house... it's nice to know I'm not the only insane mother out there.
ReplyDeleteMean rich lady. Sue, you are brilliant!!!!! I wonder if I can get the teens to go for it.
ReplyDeleteThat's how things rolled at my house as a kid but it was the older sisters who indentured the younger ones. I, sadly, was a younger one. I can remember many hours of rubbing my sister's stinky feet for which I was paid one cent per minute. (So, I guess that made me a paid employee, not a servant. However, to a 9 year old, pennies were pretty meaningless and bought nothing, even a million years ago when I was 9.) Very amusing post--hope you feel much better soon!
ReplyDelete*cracks up* Oh, wow, between the "mean rich lady" game and the one where you send them to their rooms to "clean," I think you might be the most brilliant mom I know.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm mentally filing all this away for future use. ;)
Marste
As I always say...a family that serves the wife/mother is a family that stays together!!! :)
ReplyDeleteDId you at least watch American Idol or Lie to Me? Both totally great! :)
We love that game around here! The other game we like to play when mom is sick is Lord of the Flies. I lock myself in the room and the kids fend for themselves. Then when I emerge I try to figure out what natural disaster occured in my living room.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea!! Next time I'm sick I'm totally doing that! Wait. I'm sick right now...what are you ideas for an eight month old baby to play?
ReplyDeleteThat game sounds AWESOME. can't wait til my kud is old enough to play that!
ReplyDeleteHope you get better soon.
my kid, not my kud. That's just gross.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better...I think? Are you feeling better, at least a teensy bit better?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! i say Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's strep.
ReplyDeleteI just got over it and I almost died. At least that's what I thought for about 48 hours.
I found your blog from the new book for NieNie and I really like it! You are funny like me! Just kidding you are probably much funnier!
ReplyDeleteL O V E the game. I just put my kid who doesn't really takes naps anymore down for a nap and let the other play on the computer while I nap.
ReplyDeleteDefinately logging this one away.
Glad to know you're feeling better!
You are soooo my new hero. I must play that game.
ReplyDelete"It's my husband's favorite part of the day."... Best part of the whole post. Does he know how lucky he is?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your game idea. I've got to try that.
ReplyDeleteI think my 2-year-old has gotten five popsicles out of the freezer while I've been catching up on Reader and Facebook. I need to train him to bring the popsicles to the sick old rich lady instead. (Also I'm really afraid to go see the state of the be-popsicled kitchen.)
that. is a genius game. i'm filing that one away.
ReplyDeleteWow! You're creative even when you are sick! Amazing! :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha, that's awesome! We think alike in that respect, I think.
ReplyDeleteToday at the natural foods co-op I run there was some rolled oats sprinkled on the floor. I told two little boys that it was "pirate treasure" and that they could throw it in the "treasure chest" (garbage can). Wouldn't you know, they picked it all up.
So I explain all unpleasant tasks to my son in terms of taxes. If I want some of his McDonald's fries (not that I EVER take him there), then I just take them and tell him he has to pay a mommy tax. And then if he doesn't want to clean the toilets, I tell him he has to anyway, because we believe in workfare and not welfare. He got really invested in the last election because he was sure the outcome would sway my rules around here.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to the world from the very brink of death.
ReplyDeleteI am practicing my cough so I can steal your game and play it with my own little servants... er, I mean kids.
Glad you're starting on the mend. There's nothing like someone else turning on the tv when you don't feel like watching it.
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to tell me "That's why I had children .. so that you would do everything for me."
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't I think of this when my kids were young??? Instead I was the indentured servant to the spoiled rich kids!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're sick...but you are as funny as ever!
ReplyDeleteGet well soon!
We've been sick too, but we're better now so I'll have to wait till next time to put into practice this diabolically clever plan of yours.
ReplyDeleteI love that game, but we call it Cinderella and I am the wicked step mother. They love me to order them around and yell at them and be mean, they act all obedient and say Yes step mother. It is the best game ever, much better than Candy land.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Does your husband know of this ulterior motive?
ReplyDeleteThat is a great game. I can't believe I've never played it.
ReplyDeleteI'm always amazed when some childless adult I know (my brother, say, or some other blogger) talks about how they were so sick and had to stay home from work and lie in bed all day and it was so awful(?)(!). I mean, I fail to see the problem here...
You are a genius. A sick and evil genius. I love it.
ReplyDeleteHey Sue...
ReplyDeleteDid you see this?
http://www.ldsmag.com/exstories/090130nie.html
it mentions the book!
too freaking funny:)
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon! At least you've got kids willing to play the rich lady game for you, I don't think mine would buy it. At least, not for very long.
ReplyDeleteWhy? Why did I not think of this game when my kids were still the right age to buy it!
ReplyDeleteYou're a genius!
Sorry to hear that you have been dying... Its tough being a super Mom when we get sick---but then again, if our husbands get sick---watch out!
ReplyDeleteGlad you got your kids to wait on you---I have done this periodically through my life---that is probably why they have all moved out...well, except for the one---he is still under my spell.
Why have I never thought of that game? It's pure genius.
ReplyDeleteWhy have I never thought of that game? It's pure genius.
ReplyDeleteMy kids need to grow faster so we can play that game! Sheer genius.
ReplyDeletei just laughed out loud. oh my gosh. your a brilliant. hahaha you are such a mean rich lady...
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. So glad you're pretending to feel better!
ReplyDeleteI thought about you today while I was cleaning my bathroom. On my cupboard doors were several boogers. YAY! Made me think of your letters to your kids. Goooood times!
I'm jotting down this came for the next time I must take to my bed with a Serious Illness.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hope you're feeling better, too.
Pouring cereal IS exhausting. Especially if they want another bowl or more milk. Then you have to get up and do it again.
ReplyDeleteImagine how that story will come out when your kids are in therapy. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent idea - the game - I think I'll try it on my Hubby next time I am sick --or Definetly on the grandkids when they come visit. I think they would totally fall for it TOTALLY. Whatever you have, it's not contagious is it, like I can't get it by commenting to you can I?????
ReplyDeleteWhy have I not done this to my kids?
ReplyDeleteI am adding this game to our family right now. Little did my dd know how good she had it before.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if my kids would play this game?
ReplyDeleteI saw the article in the paper about NieNie and noticed you were interviewed in it. Good Jorrb!
ReplyDeleteAnd you only live up the long road from me. I'd stalk you if I weren't so busy.
Ummm, do I really need to be sick to play this game?
ReplyDeleteNaahhh.
Lol, sounds like a great game. I hope you're feeling better. And I love the new blog layout.
ReplyDelete