Saturday, October 04, 2008

Ghetto Pinata, Take Two

Pin It All of the blog friends who have been with me for a while are gonna have to humor me today, because I'm reposting something from the archives about my son's third birthday party for the benefit of one of my technology deficient real life friends who wanted to read it and couldn't figure out how to find it.

("SCROLL DOWN to the Posts That Don't Suck section and click on it", I keep saying, and she keeps saying, "I don't see it. I see your picture. Do I click on your picture?" "No -it's right there though. Scroll down." "So click on your face?" "No, scroll - scroll - go down - go to- ACK - AAAAACK." And then my brain function shuts down. It's kind of counter-productive.)

I would've just sent her the link, but she doesn't know her email address. (SHE DOESN'T KNOW HER EMAIL ADDRESS.) (I mean, forget communication, how does she SHOP ONLINE?) (The mind boggles.)
Of course, I'm sure she has similar feelings about my ability to function in this world without a cell phone and even a lick of fashion sense, so it's all relative.

PS: Also, my dear internet challenged friend, here's the one about my daughter's birthday party. Just click right there where it says "my daughter's birthday party." Go on, click on it. Click. Click on it. You can do it. ;>

GHETTO PINATA


Carter turned three last Monday. Now, I love a birthday party as much as the next mom, (which is to say, not all that much) and we've thrown a few super extravaganzas in our day, including a cowgirl party with an actual pony, and two princess parties complete with yards of tulle. But let's be honest. He's THREE. In five days he won't remember any of it. I could snip some pictures out of a pottery barn kids catalog, paste them in his baby book, tell him it was the bash of the century and he'd never know the difference. So I wasn't all that worried about throwing him a party. We planned to just have cake and ice cream as a family and maybe give him a few nerf balls to chase around.

Of course, on Sunday night when I broke the news to him, that there would be no friends, but it would be me and Daddy and his sisters, and didn't that sound fun, and he could have a train cake and WHOOOOOPEEEEE - he made this face:



His dreams - shattered. The big, huge tears of bitter sadness and disappointment started to roll down his face. "Why, Mama, why? Why no frienz for Carter?" I caved. (I can't take the bitter tears of disappointment.) On Monday morning I started calling around to see if any of the moms in the neighborhood had any interest in getting rid of their 2-3 year old sons for an hour or so, and the response we got mostly was along the lines of "You want my three year old? To come over on short notice? And I will then possibly be alone in my house for an hour? Hmmmm, let me think about it, why - YES! OF COURSE! DO YOU WANT HIM TO COME OVER RIGHT NOW? AND STAY ALL DAY?" And so we had a guest list.

An hour before the party I realized, well, we should probably have something for them to do, because there was a limit to how long they would be entertained by Wicket the wonder puppy and the aforementioned nerf balls. We didn't want to run back to the store, so my husband and I came up with a few artfully handcrafted diversions. For example, this pinata:

Party planning tip:

How to make a pinata, if you are extremely lazy:

  • Get a paper bag
  • Cut out a picture of something
  • Glue it on the front
  • Get a piece of yarn
  • Tell your kid it's a pinata

Entertainment for the party under control, we strung up some crepe paper and called it good. When the kids all arrived, we had them play go fish over the stairwell, using a metal rod with a piece of yarn attached, and a paperclip dangling from the end. I attached tootsie rolls to the paper clip each time. Each time when they pulled it up, they were amazed because, HEY LOOK, A TOOTSIE ROLL, as though it had not just happened 10 previous times. When they tired of this, we moved on to the next candy oriented event, the pinata.

It was windy outside and we had nothing to hang the pinata from, so my husband offered to stand there and hold it while the kids took whacks at it with a metal stick. I thought that was fairly brave, considering what crappy aim these kids all had. (He's a stud, what can I say?) It took them three tries each to break open the paper bag. My daughter was openly mocking them for lack of upper body strength, and we had to make her stand in the corner. The pinata was also full of tootsie rolls and once again they were AMAZED and SURPRISED and DELIGHTED by the appearance of the candy. Two year olds really aren't that bright, quite frankly.


Next we had cake and ice cream. These kids were on a sugar HIGH. Between the steady flow of tootsie rolls, the frosting and the ice cream, they were all positively whacked out on sugar. This was RIGHT before dinner. Their parents, I'm sure, thought fondly of me that night as their kids all crashed back down to earth.


On the phone I must have said 14 times, PLEASE don't worry about a present, I know this is short notice, you're doing me a favor just by letting them come, it's just ice cream and cake, not a real party, please, please, please don't bring a present. Every single kid brought a present. Of course, you know if it had been the other way around, I would have been the loser who took the mom at her word and sent my kid with no gift.


Carter opened the presents and they all played for a bit, then it was over. Carter said it was "AWESOME." That's all that matters. I would post a bunch of sentimental stuff here about what an amazing, lovable kid he is, but I will just sum it up like this in a way that all mothers can appreciate: HE IS NOW FULLY POTTY TRAINED. (Sniff.)

Happy Birthday, Carter - we love you, little guy...

34 comments:

  1. My FIL is also technologically challenged, so we frequently get emails that INCLUDE SOMETHING LIKE (DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S ALL IN CAPS) THIS. We've set up his cell phone and bookmarks though, so he's able to function fairly well.

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  2. Oh yes. I found this one and read it from your side bar. I laughed about it. Great idea.

    Very funny.

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  3. These two birthday party posts are my most favorite!

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  4. What happens when she clicks on it and then can't find her way back to this post?
    Poor thing...

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  5. I just read this one from your side bar recently and totally laughed. YOu are a genius!

    I am totally going to steal this idea for my daughter's third birthday. Forget spending $20 for a dumb pinata that you have to hack into for over an hour just to fill it with candy (my oldest's 4th b-day party)and then use a brute force to crack open so the kids can get to the candy (every b-day party we've ever had)

    I am so totally going ghetto next time!

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  6. No matter how many times I read this post, I always crack up.

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  7. Best party ever this year for my 6 yr old: we were out of town the week or so before, so Grandma (who was holding down the fort) threw her a giant cousin party, including 11 kids SLEEPING OVER. (BRAVE woman, I say.) By the time we came home, cake and ice cream and a present from Mom and Dad were enough.

    I'm like you--I take people at their word and then look like a doofus. My sisters screw with my mind more than anyone in this way. I should know by now not to listen to them.

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  8. I've been a lurker for a while, and laughed my tush off reading through your archives. This one was right up there with the funniest, but my (and my husbands) all time favorite is "I was trying to wake you up with my MIND." Classic.

    You know what would make this pinata even better? Halloween candy. Not the kind you buy from the store, but the kind your children get for free at the neighbors' houses. I'm nothing if not frugal. AND, it would be double the pleasure, because they would be getting it twice.

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  9. great post but super bad timing. I went to my google reader and noticed you had something new but conference was starting, I chose the right. (conference, if you were confused) All during the talks I kept wondering, who is ghetto pinata.

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  10. I showed this to my sister. We were laughing so hard that we were crying; my four children kept watching us in confused wonder. I loved your ghetto pinata. I'm so going to copy this idea for my son's bday!

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  11. You know, sometimes I just come and read this post for no reason. It's one of my favorites for sure.

    But my VERY favorite is Good-bye Cruel World. I tried to read it to my husband once, but I was laughing so hard he couldn't understand me, and it was completely lost on him. But that one has my vote for post of the year.

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  12. This is one of my fav posts of yours! I thought about sending it to a friend who was having a bad day last week just cause it's funny and I can't read it without laughing.

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  13. Your friend can't figure out how to scroll down and find the link? Heeheehee, I'm going to be giggling about that for days.

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  14. This is one of the first posts that I read on your blog, and I about died laughing.

    Probably my favorite post of yours.

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  15. Oh man---I so wish my kids could go to your kid's parties. They sound awesome!!

    Okay---I don't actually have kids. But I fake wish I did, just for your parties.

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  16. Love the classics!

    My daughter's birthday is a couple weeks before I am planning on giving birth...can I borrow your husband to hold a pinata for us?

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  17. One of my favorites. And your friend cracks me up. I have a good friend like that, and sometimes I have to drive over to her house to show her where to click. That's sort of inefficient, you know?

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  18. I LUV the pinata! Holy cow, you are amazing and so fun! I luv that it all came together for a super fun time for your little one.

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  19. That is so stink'n funny I almost wet myself. I love the ghetto Pinata! And your son's eyes are beautiful.. Thanks for the re-post, I hadnt read this...

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  20. yes, i was that mom once who didn't bring a gift and everyone else did. sigh. oh well. i am glad everyone liked the tootsie rolls!

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  21. I have a great pinata picture on my blog from my daughter's birthday...it's label Kill Pinata!

    http://staciesmadness.blogspot.com/2008/10/kill-pinata.html

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  22. The look of sheer delight on his face in that last picture make it totally worth it. :)

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  23. You are so brave.
    My son was also potty trained right before his 3rd birthday and that was cause for celebration.

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  24. Anonymous1:22 PM

    I was introduced to your blog by my daughter who thinks you are the best ever. Since then I have been reading your stuff and I have to say I look forward to each entry. I have enjoyed your archives as well. I didn't get this written in time to help you out on your contest but I just want you to know you do a fantastic job through your pure honesty of life's little challenges.

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  25. LOL! I think that's a fabulous idea and I think the party sounds like it went really really well!! you rock! especially on short notice. holy cow

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  26. Ha ha. You are soooo cute. I would have caved toooooo with that face. ha ha ha

    I'm posting a tip tomorrow on how to host a super fun birthday party for absolutely free. (of course it's all a big fat lie, but still).

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  27. LOL I've had to throw together a last minute birthday party or two due to puppy dog eyes too. Looks like you guys did WAY better than we did at it. I love the flooring in these pics, BTW!

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  28. O.k. I would hate for you to die and I really just don't have time to attend a funeral. So I read your blog for the first time...linked from make and takes. Your fricken funny. The ghetto pinata is right up my ally and I was laughing with tears in my eyes. That's pretty funny. And it continued to be funny, even though there wasn't alot of pictures. I like pictures. I am a visual learner. Anyway....nice blog. Maybe now you can make $51 a month.

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  29. I'm sitting here in the middle of the night trying not to wake up my family with my laughter. It's coming out in muffled snorts. Very funny.
    Anna

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  30. Found your blog through Veronica's blog and I'm de-lurking to say that your blog? She is GOOD.

    This "royal subject" (er, court jester?) intends to cometh back often. :)

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  31. I just stumbled across your blog and literally was crying from laughter reading about the birthday party.

    You're a very talented writer!

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  32. I love this posting. I laughed at the pinata and your husband standing on the little chair. But the best part is that beautiful picture of your son, the first one, with his hopes dashed. I'd melt every time.

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  33. Just found your blog a day or two ago through a friend who was reading the Cordy story (love it! such a great story!) and I'm now a subscriber to both.

    This post had me absolutely howling with laughter, and let me tell you, I really needed a good laugh. All I will say is California a few days before the election. Thank you!

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