Tuesday, September 30, 2008

YOU GUYS! I AM GIVING AWAY ONE MILLION DOLLARS

Pin It No, I'm not really giving away one million dollars. That's a lie. Geez. Why does anyone believe a word I say anymore? I have no idea.

But I AM giving away fifty dollars in COLD HARD CASH. This is because I need my lurkers to come out and show the people I'm trying to con into asking to sponsor a new venture that you all exist and are not just figments of my imagination. There is apparently some concern about the strength of my connection to reality.

WHATEVER.

Unfortunately they wanted proof not only that that you EXIST, but also that you might sometimes do things like leave comments and click on stuff in exchange for dollars floating down from the sky, and I told them that OF COURSE you would do that, they shouldn't even have to ask, because a) free money and b) that whole thing where I have magical powers.

They wanted more detail on that part of it, so I told them all about how I have become skilled in the art of controlling people using the power of my super secret brain thought waves. I even showed them a pie chart of times when I really wished people would leave me a comment and then they did, but they weren't buying it. (Everyone's a cynic.)

They thought it would be better if I just ran a contest.

Humphh.

So thanks to them, all you've gotta do is leave a comment on this post before midnight (US mountain time) on Thursday, 10/2, and you're entered to win. See how easy that is?

SO EASY.

Oh, also, if you use Technorati, you can make me a Technorati favorite by clicking on that green and white doohickey over there on the right, and you'll get an extra entry. Just make sure your comment indicates that you also made me a Technorati favorite, and they'll check it using their high tech Technorati favorite checking checker or something. I don't know.

THE END.

PS: You don't have to be a lurker to enter.

460 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:27 PM

    I'd way rather have $50 than a stupid necklace. Why do so many bloggers give away stupid necklaces?

    Hey, if your sponsors are willing to give away cash, I say MORE POWER TO YOU.

    It's actually kind of smart. They usually want to know not just what traffic you get, but how many readers are loyal enough to take a certain kind of action, so good on you. I once read that only about 10% of readers actually comment. Is that true?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want my $50!
    I'm much of a lurker.
    I post a comment now and then.
    Does that count? And wow! 201 comments!!
    Is this just a ploy to get comments?

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  3. Here I am, I exist.

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  4. Hmmm, I don't think I've delurked here yet. I check every day to see if you've written anything new, and then curse at the screen if you haven't.

    During one of your slow periods (by the way, quit that!) I went back and read all your previous entries, so I feel a little stalkerish.

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  5. 203 comments. How many pagelaods a day are you getting? And how on Earth can you accomplish anything with all these comments to read? Should I come in on various computers and totally distort the stats? And perhaps give the impression that I can actually buy something?

    Wishing you another 200 comments.

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  6. free money??? I'm all about that!

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  7. LOL! I lurk sometimes, but other times I comment. But you can keep your money. I wouldn't take money from a mommy! (Unless the money is coming from those corporate sponsors, in which case, I'm in! Ha!)

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  8. If I win the $50 I promise to spend it all on my grandchildren. How can you resist that offer?

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  9. blog stalkers unite!!

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  10. Not a lurker.

    But I am a vampire.

    Does my vote still count?

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  11. I hope you get 60 million comments. Or something like that. Whatever floats your boat.
    Hi Nice Sponsors. We LOVE us some naval gazing.
    See, shameless plug. You are welcome.

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  12. I'm not commenting cause I need to win. That would be nice. Mostly it's because I was thinking that the point of this is to get that comment number up. So here's one more comment for you!

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  13. I LOVE your blog, I will totally click on things on the side!!

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  14. Why am I always last? On this one, I'm sure I won't be, I'll probably be middlish, but still way way down there. Gee whiz! Also, I'm doing the Technorati thing. Because hey, 50 bucks is 50 bucks. And that's 50 bucks more than I have now. BTW, you're awesome.

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  15. Delurking to win some moola!!! Good luck on your sponsorship!!

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  16. A MILLION DOLLARS! COunt me in!
    (just kidding. $50 would be awesome.)

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  17. I read you all the time and comment periodically. I'm here! I'm here!

    But hot dang, you've go so many commenters today, how can I win?

    PICK ME! I could totally use fifty bucks.

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  18. I think you've me your burden of proof- LOL.

    Great job! and good luck :)

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  19. count me in. :) i hope you get the ads you want!

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  20. Ok, ok. But I want to see a picture of your haircut in exchange if I don't win the $50 :)
    Love the blog.

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  21. Maddison5:24 PM

    Happy to help the cause! :)

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  22. Free money and or prizes, this ones a no brainer. I'm in!

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  23. I could use $50. I would buy $50 of cashew poppycock and eat it all at one sitting. Oh, and maybe I'll send you a bag too!

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  24. I'm sorry Sue, but I am a total blurker. I am in school (writing, ironically) and have two kids and a husband (who is also in school, so I don't have time to keep up with my own blog like I would like to. But, I always make it a point to read yours! Contest or no contest I love your blog!

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  25. Not a lurker, but happy to support and of course enter. :) (but I'd support even without the giveaway)

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  26. What a great chance to win a few extra bucks.

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  27. Hi there, I rarely comment, but I read you all the time! And I think you are poignant and funny. And I love your new haircut. I feel your pain, btw, since I recently had mine chopped off, too!

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  28. Wowee! It's worth a shot!

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  29. I love reading your blog & I would love to win this!
    byubabe14 at yahoo dot com

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  30. Another de-lurker...

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  31. Fifty bucks to tell you that I read your blog...sweet!!! I will gladly tell you I read your blog and love it!!

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  32. I'm here every day, but I don't comment very often because I'm just not as funny as you, Sue! But to help you out, I'll risk public dorkiness.

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  33. Nice. I Technorati'd you too!

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  34. I not too long ago discovered your blog and have since left an insane, garbled message on my sister's answering machine saying, " You HAVE to read this chick's blog, it makes me laugh right out loud!" Since part of the reason I was "garbling" the message was because I giggled so hard I snorted, she probably got the point! haha. BTW, always resisted being called a "chick" , but for some reason it now seems "sisterly" if girls use it---go figure...(shades of the girl rabbit in "Space Jam" cooing, "Don't ever call me DOLL." :})

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  35. Jenny K6:24 PM

    Delurking just for you (and possibly $50)

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  36. I not too long ago discovered your blog and have since left an insane, garbled message on my sister's answering machine saying, " You HAVE to read this chick's blog, it makes me laugh right out loud!" Since part of the reason I was "garbling" the message was because I giggled so hard I snorted, she probably got the point! haha. BTW, always resisted being called a "chick" , but for some reason it now seems "sisterly" if girls use it---go figure...(shades of the girl rabbit in "Space Jam" cooing, "Don't ever call me DOLL." :})

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  37. It isn't my money :> YAY.

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  38. Anonymous6:27 PM

    I enjoy your blog, and my wife and I can't wait for your book to come out. I hope you make it Dave Barry big. I've been lurking since the beginning when you had maybe ten readers and it's nice to see actual talent rise to the top. Dave Woodson

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  39. Good, cause I'm not a lurker. I've been following your blog for some time. I've graduated to faithful stalker.

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  40. I will say hi for fifty bucks! I read you all the time.

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  41. I comment sometimes... I'm like 50% lurker. Awesome giveaway.

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  42. I lurk every day and worship at your blogging feet.

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  43. okay, okay I'll come out of lurking...

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  44. I'm a lurker and I exist. I'd like to exist with $50 in my pocket. Sweet!

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  45. ohmigoodness pick me!

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  46. Anything to help you silly, I would have commented even if you didn't offer cash - though that didn't hurt. Hope you get what you are working to get!

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  47. Katie in Ohio7:04 PM

    Officially a lurker and delighted to enter, um, I mean help you prove that you have a loyal readership. Loved the post where you detailed your hike in the dark woods and your over active imagination. Had me cracking up because I do the same thing in my basement.

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  48. I have you in my google reader and I do read almost daily, I comment some, sorry if I am a kinda lurker, I love this blog! And of course I would like 50 dollars!

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  49. Okay, so what's this venture you're working on and is it going to cost me money?

    ps-love your blog

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  50. Love your blog - I read it all the time. Your my kind of person.

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  51. you are so funny. In jealous. Really

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  52. you are so funny. In jealous. Really

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  53. you are so funny. In jealous. Really

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  54. you are so funny. In jealous. Really

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  55. you are so funny. In jealous. Really

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  56. ellen7:25 PM

    delurking to prove to THE SUITS that i'm here, like one of those little whos down in whoville. "we're here! we're here! we're HERE!"

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  57. Well, there are currently 258 comments . . . that ought to be enough proof of magical powers, right? ;)

    Ok, I would love this money because I live in Guatemala and $50 is like $200 here. So I would totally put it to good use . . . buying craft stuff and toys and food and stuff. ;D

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  58. I want money. Gimme. :)

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  59. I'll come out as a lurker! I LOVE your blog. Gives me a much needed laugh.

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  60. Okay, here's where I confess, I've been reading your blog for a while. I'm one of those annoying lurkers. I figured you had so many comments already, why leave another one. Dumb, I know.

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  61. Haha! I am IN for the million, i mean fifty bucks! Love your blog!

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  62. I promise I'm not a lurker. :) I just found your blog a few days ago. Love your writing style. And I'd really LOVE to win $50. haha

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  63. Long time lurker, first time commenter.

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  64. Thanks for all you do, Sue. You are a great funny blogger, but you are a super neat person, too.

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  65. So it looks like you have a lot of proof. I've been lurking for months (I know, I'm just so ashamed of myself). Excited to hear about your venture.

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  66. My name is Kellyn, and I am a lurker...I do read you whenever you post, but just dont comment. I am working to get better all around!!

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  67. I am a lurker- but I would love to win, so now I am outed!!! Love your blog!

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  68. Okay, there are a lot of people here! Maybe they really will give you one million dollars to give away!

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  69. Wait? What? Did somebody say cash?

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  70. Your blog is awesome!

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  71. Your evil plan is working - almost 300 comments already! Maybe I'll offer to give away one of my kids...

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  72. how much cold hard cash?
    i'm in

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  73. Holy flip. 12 hours and TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY SIX COMMENTS?

    I am blown away. I hope you become a super famous blogger. I never win, never will, so I'm not even entering because of the money.

    Just because I love you.

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  74. I lurk, but love your blog.

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  75. Peek-a-boo! I guess this means I have blown my cover. I've been spying on your blog for a couple weeks (after a series of strategically executed lurks, which started with cjane's blog - still haven't de-lurked there). This is the first time I've come out with it: I am a lurker.

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  76. i always delurk for the chance to win something... even if it's a free prostate exam for my nonexistent prostate... i don't need to actually want the item... it's like the whole "it's an honor just to be nominated" thing... so there ya go... delurking for the contests... you can count on me...

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  77. comment. post. win.

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  78. Whoa - 258 comments, I totally just checked your blog the other day. I guess I'll have to come three times a day now (tell THAT to your sponsors!).
    I love your blog, and I am here, de-lurking.

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  79. I read you on Bloglines...and I'm thinking that $50 US is like $50.05 Canadian, so to maximize your giving, I should really win this.

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  80. Anonymous10:06 PM

    Pick me!

    I'm Tara Leavitt by the way. Love the blog.

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  81. Wow! 284 comments. You've got some kind of magic powers anyway.

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  82. Will de-lurk for cash! :)

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  83. Can you also tell them that-- GASP! BELIEVE IT OR NOT-- not everyone has a cell phone? And I would totally join if I didn't need a cell phone! What's up with that?? Can I borrow someone else's cell phone identity?

    If it's YouData you're talking about anyway.

    Favouriting you on Technorati. Do me a favour and return the favour; you'd be the FIRST ONE. :-)

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  84. one million... over time or lump sum?

    tx sue!

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  85. Candace10:32 PM

    Delurking

    Hope I Win!

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  86. De-lurking for cash... now that's what I call a GREAT idea!

    Funny thing that deal about your imagination... you certainly have a wonderfully funny one.

    Best to you & yours!

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  87. Free money? Count me in and sign me up! Great blog btw!

    amanda.coxfam.org

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  88. Oh my gosh look at all your comments! Couldn't you just get them a copy of your stat counter? I checked out technorati, but that name is too creepy!

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  89. Sign me up! The things we do for cash!

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  90. Okay fine! I'm officially de-lurking. And it's not for the money either! Just to help a gal out and let you know I really enjoy your blog. You keep me laughing and in some really strange crazy way I can SO relate to you! Keep up the great stories!

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  91. Please forgive me for being too lazy to get a free Technorati account, but I won't sneeze at the chance to win free money when all it takes is a comment.

    (Oh, and you can tell those guys I LOVE YOUR BLOG. AND I REALLY MEAN IT. AND YOU DID NOT PAY ME ANYTHING TO SAY THAT.)

    (I just realized that all would have been much easier to type if I'd remembered there's such a thing as Caps Lock.)

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  92. Look at me, with less than an hour to spare. Love your blog, hate to admit i lurk more than i comment. it will change. gotta support those who want a blog to support them!

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  93. How could I resist that invitation to delurk? I LOVE your blog, thanks for making me laugh!!

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  94. I lurk--therefore I am. I usually don't comment because you already have so many to read! Llve your blog--best of luck with the sponsor thing!

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  95. I've been reading your blog for about a month. You make me laugh! :-)

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  96. I'm a lurker and I'm SO in!

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  97. To whoever it is that needs proof people are reading navel gazing: Sue gets more readers and comments than everyone else put together--even without a giveaway. So trust me, you're bet is sure with her! (Hey, that even rhymes!)

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  98. Anonymous11:52 PM

    Delurking to say: Yes, I do exist!

    ~ AndiK

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  99. Here's hoping the random number generator picks me. :>

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  100. Very clever. Count me in!
    ann dot guns at mac dot com

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  101. Anonymous12:47 AM

    You are brilliant and deserve a cavalcade of comments. No cash necessary.

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  102. Fifty bucks?! Ka Ching! Just kidding, I read your blog everyday for free!

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  103. Anonymous5:21 AM

    Can I win it if I live in Australia? Oh well, I still love your blog. Anything to help! Jules

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  104. christina m.5:23 AM

    Lol, I only lurk a little....sometimes I comment :) Either way, I love your site!

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  105. For you Sue, anything.

    I'm nothing if not a suck up. :o)

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  106. 309 comments on 1 blog!!! You DO have magical powers! The most comments that I have ever gotten is maybe 6. And that's because I commented on my comments! (Maybe I could use the $50 to buy some more followers!)

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  107. I don't lurk all the time. But commenting is so.much.work!

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  108. I don't exactly lurk, but I have read several entries and I want to say I love your blog! (haven't commented, tho!) Anyways, I'm commenting because 50$ sounds cool. Unless you're lying. Whatever, if you are it doesn't matter because I never win anything.

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  109. Okay okay, I am a lurker of the finest kind--however, FREE MONEY will de-lurk me every time!

    7:42 AM

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  110. I hope you make lots of money - I love coming to your blog

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  111. Fifty bucks? Say no more...

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  112. Fairly new lurker here. I think I found you by googling "Twilight sucks" awhile back, and there you were!

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  113. Official lurker reporting in! Thanks for lots of smiles.

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  114. 300 comments??? Gah woman!

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  115. I'll come out from my lurking corner...I love this blog.

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  116. Märia8:27 AM

    $50, I'll pretend I lurk here for $50, no really you're in my feed reader

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  117. Delurking because SuburbanCorrespondent ordered me to. Or something. (Hey, it's early and my reading comprehension skills aren't what they should be.)

    She also told me to technorati you as well as herself, so that's next on my to-do list.

    And then I'm supposed to trade the $50 you'll give me for her magic beans.

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  118. Ok ok ok. I admit it. You guilted it out of me. I am a lurker on your blog. :~) You crack me up and nothing I could ever say would be as funny. But today I am getting over myself to help your numbers cause!! Oh and I like money.

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  119. whoa! i'm sure they will bless you now, judging by the multitude of followers who have stepped out of the darkness and made themselves visible. you gotta be doing a happy dance right about now.

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  120. 50 bucks? i'll come out of the woodwork for that. :)

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  121. I guess I will de-lurk for some cold hard cash~and to tell you that your blog is simply awesome and I seriously stalk you daily just to read about your silly antics! Thanks for making me smile :)

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  122. I just found your blog this week, and here I am, already de-lurking. Good luck with your sponsership ventures!!

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  123. this lurk word makes me feel really uncomfortable.... like let's go ahead and say silent stalker, as it makes me feel equally creepy. I read and don't comment because I figure you wouldn't care what the crap a stranger has to say... I am right, no???

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  124. another lurker unleashed....pick me, pick me...

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  125. Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane.

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  126. I'm delurking! I've been reading your blog for a while and it is one of my favorites!

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  127. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  128. Anonymous9:11 AM

    I lurk here all the time! I love your blog and your writing and your haircut. I even looked for you in the RS choir the other night. And I waved as I drove past your exit eight times I drove past getting my daughter settled at college.

    SB in Michigan

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  129. If I had $50 I would buy you something nice and take a picture of myself wearing it so you could enjoy it too. You know, from afar.

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  130. oooooh! Please randomly pick me!

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  131. This is actually my second comment. My first was anonymous.

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  132. Okay you hooked me. Went back and read some of your older posts. I didn't add you to the techno whatever it is. I don't need one more thing to follow but I did add you to my google reader.

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  133. I am a new lurker. I found you about a week ago and I have been throughly entertained. Thanks!

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  134. Me, me, me, I'm usually a lurker!

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  135. Wow - 340 comments. Impressive!

    I guess 341 now.

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  136. What are the chances? I might as well sign up for a free trip to the moon as win actual MONEY, but it's worth a try. Thanks for the offer! You made me happy for a few minutes with the million dollars thing, and the least I can do for a few moments of excitement is to sign up for your blog. Call it a community service returned! ;)

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  137. This is my comment. I guess I can be bought relatively cheaply. Good thing my husband didn't know that while I was making him jump through hoops to catch me.

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  138. bridget10:47 AM

    I'm here to pledge my undying love and hopefully to collect some ca$h = which I will donate to Nie... Maybe the winner would consider this?

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  139. Great giveaway. Hope you get what you are trying to!
    Thanks!

    lindsmoore55[at]yahoo[dot]com

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  140. I don't think you are lacking for comments, looks like you have a gaggle of a following, glad to join in the fun.
    beagan419(at)yahoo.com

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  141. I am amazed at the number of comments on this post. I can't fathom that many people ever visiting my little ole blog.

    It is amazing how a little bit of money will bring people out of the woodwork.

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  142. I'm delurking. . . .

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  143. Funny how only a giveaway post has 349 comments!

    I admit I'm a lurker... I have commented a few times and even put a link in my blog, so I guess that means I'm a semi lurker haha

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  144. I am so mad that you showed me that "Hopeless Romantic Blog" or whatever. I am totally addicted to it - it's like crack for me. I swear I have been where she is, like a million times and a million years ago (well, obviously not a million years ago, I am only 26, but still!!!). And I can't even leave a freakin' comment!

    I am totally stressed.

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  145. well, looks like the people should've trusted your magical abilities ;) Thanks for this chance to win some money (can really use the gas money... darned SUV!)

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  146. I'm here! I read you, and love it!

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  147. Yay, this is my comment!

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  148. Your blog cracks me up. And, hello, cash? I'm so in.

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  149. Oh you know I lurv you - just been stalking you that's all. ;)

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  150. OK, I'll come out of lurkdom long enough to say thanks--I love reading your posts :)

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  151. Another lurker here....see, we do exist. Great Blog

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  152. I've commented at least a couple times, but not enough for how cool your blog is. Keep it up Sue!!

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  153. DARN YOU, and your secret brain powers! I am HELPLESS!

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  154. um, you're kidding me. 360 comments?

    I need $50.

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  155. I love your blog. Hope I win. :)

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  156. I recently found your blog via a link from a friend's blog. Don't tell him, but I now read yours more often! I think you are one funny gal and really enjoy your posts!

    And your hair is cute!

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  157. I love your blog...that's why you're on my google reader!

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  158. Looks like you have a lot of readers to me!!! Sign me up :)

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  159. Sign me up! And good luck on your new venture. :-)

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  160. otter1:05 PM

    you crack me up.

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  161. Cash works for me.

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  162. Fine...if you insist, I will come out of the lurking closet, but just this once (since it's for a good cause :)

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  163. $50 would be nice. I think you are crazy, but hilarious!

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  164. Lurker #794 reporting in to say: Think of what would happen if you offered $100? Aim higher next week... your stats will totally rock.

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  165. Wow, 372 comments, that's awesome! I saw someone that looked like you in the choir on Saturday too!

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  166. I am hoping for the million, but I will take what I can get.

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  167. i'm lovin' your blog. you're on my stalky list and i know people that put you on their stalky list because they saw your link on my blog. hope that helps.

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  168. Money is always welcome!

    P.S. I added you to my Technorati favorites :)

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  169. I've always been too scared to leave a comment on your blog for a number of reasons. Just to name a few: 1) you're ridiculously popular (374 comments?) and frankly, I just blog about my kids and my own family doesn't even read it! 2) I feel like a total wack-job lurking on someones blog that I've never met but holy cow, you make me laugh! Nevertheless, when there's $ involved, I have no choice! Good luck! Sorry for the long comment. I'll shut up now.

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  170. jimminy-freakin'-Christmas! Almost 400 posts! Wow.

    Oh, and I fav'ed you on Technorati. So Here's hoping for $100.00, 'cauz with two entries, I might win twice! What? You're shattering my hopes? Ok. I'll settle for winning once for $50.

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  171. Anonymous2:26 PM

    Lurk, lurk, lurk

    Christina

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  172. I found your blog again! I so missed it!
    when I try searching through Yahoo, it laughs at me. And then tries to sell me the Twlight books. I'm busy reading the safety guidelines for the Girl Scouts for crying out loud!

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  173. I'm a new Google-Readering lurker. Cheers!

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  174. I'm not a lurker, does that double my chances?

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  175. delurking, not for money, just for you!! ;)

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  176. Carolyn2:55 PM

    I'm in! Pick me!!!
    Carolyn

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  177. I'm a lurker. But I love cash. Especially if it's cold and hard. So, here am I, pick me!

    Love the blog BTW. Those sponsors should totally, um, sponsor you!

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  178. Anonymous2:58 PM

    I am a lurker. Love your new do also!

    Deb

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  179. I am comment #384.

    THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTYSIX!

    THREE. HUNDRED. EIGHTYSIX!

    Wow. I am so impressed.

    Really!

    Really really really impressed.

    I'd also like the $50.00.

    Because, who wouldn't? But now I think my chances are pretty slim. I don't win things very often.

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  180. I am always reading. Give her the endorsement!

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  181. show me the money honey!

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  182. can't remember how I found your blog, but I love it!

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  183. I was referred to your blog by a friend. I check it randomly- I think your posts are great!

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  184. I used to wonder what lurking was... till now :-)

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  185. I'd love to sign up for this! I could use the $50 to buy diapers for my 7 week old. Who knew boy babies could go through so much!

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  186. So am totally about to be obsessed with my super hopeless romance.

    THANK YOU

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  187. Who doesn't need $50? Love your post too, your mind control definitely worked on me, lol :)
    Thanks so much!
    Katie Lyons
    babylyons*at*live*dot*com

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  188. Awesome contest, hubby is laid off, could use this! Very cool, off to fav you!

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  189. Ok, I favorite'd you, id scrappyd

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  190. so many comments. That is awesome!

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  191. I like to stay lurky, then noone will know how uneloquent I am (my spell checker tells me that I am spelling that wrong but I don't care!). See it's better that I stay quiet, I will delurk for giveaways though :P

    legacyofbrutalitysa{AT}gmail.com

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  192. I faved you on my technorati, username is wastebasket!

    legacyofbrutalitysa{AT}gmail.com

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