Friday, September 19, 2008

Why Do I Always Feel the Need to Apologize in Advance for Semi-Serious Posts?

Pin It Down the street from my house there is a large, wooded gully with a stream running through it. One of the fastest ways to get into Salt Lake City from my neighborhood is to drive down into and out of the gully, so that you can zip over and catch the little highway that leads to the interstate.

The roads in and out of the gully are very steep - steep enough that you can watch even four wheel drive vehicles ice blocking in the winter-time. Last night, I decided it would be a good idea to try to walk down the gully and back up the other side, then back down and up again. (This was a BAD idea. I am so out of shape right now, it's pathetic. When I got to the top of the other side of the gully, I realized I'd overestimated my ability to continue to use my legs, but I still had to walk down the gully and BACK up the other side in order to get home. If I'd had my cell phone I would've called my husband. My legs are KILLING ME today.)

I took the long way down, meandering my way back and forth down the gully through a newly minted, completely unsold development. I liked the solitude because I could sing along with my Ipod while I walked, and bust some really cool dance moves with my arms.

I guess I could sing along with my Ipod while walking through MY neighborhood too - I mean, who cares, really? So I'm singing along and waving my arms a little, big deal. But if I was doing it on my actual street, it would be like doing it just to say, "Hey, look at me! I'm so unselfconscious and silly!" I don't want to be a dork just because people expect it. I want to be a dork because I AM ONE. And that's usually when I remember that nobody's watching me anyway, and I should really just get over myself.

Sometimes that's how I feel about blogging and writing. Sometimes I start to feel like a parody of myself, all capital letters and exclamation points and parentheses and hitting myself over the head with a baseball bat to get laughs. And yes, I can be that way in real life sometimes, but not most of the time.

When people who only know me from the blog meet me in real life, they're always surprised that at first, at least until I relax, I'm sort of reserved and quiet. I'm not shy, exactly, I'm just not sure what to say, so I try to mildly smile and not say anything too objectionable or wrong or offensive. Someone that I met a few weeks ago said something like - "You're kind of quiet - I didn't get that from your blog at all." I felt almost like I was disappointing her, even though I know that wasn't at all what she meant. I just could not live up to the persona I'd created. (And depending upon whether you like me or find me insufferable, I guess that could be a good thing, or a bad thing.)

My family on the other hand, would never think of me as quiet. My brothers and sisters (yes, I know you are reading this, even though you never comment, you traitors), all eight of them, are probably thinking "Quiet and reserved? QUIET AND RESERVED? Try bossy and loud and a showoff and a drama queen." And that's part of who I can be too, sometimes (although I hope I've outgrown the drama queen thing).

The thing about having such an active imaginary life is that you spend a lot of time inside your head, and you make yourself into a lot of different characters, and then you are never quite sure who you really are. Are you who you pretend to be? Are you who the characters in your novel are? Are you who your children think you are? Are you who your brothers and sisters remember? Are you who your church friends see on Sunday? Because I know I automatically behave differently with each group of people, without even giving it conscious thought.

Sometimes I wonder what people who know me in real life think of my blog. They might tell me they like it, but do they think it doesn't jibe with what they know about me? Do they think I'm being fake? My husband knows it's a pretty accurate portrait, because he knows me best - he is the person I am most myself with. But he also knows it isn't ALL of me, not by a longshot - I don't blog much about how snippy I get on four hours of sleep. People I work with would be shocked that I have a sense of humor, because at work I'm very reserved and quiet and almost maternal, trying to nicely play the role of the token mormon mom in the office. (Plus I have one of those naturally frowny faces - I CANNOT HELP IT, it's a curse.)

Sometimes I AM really silly and dorky (ok, I'm USUALLY dorky) and whimsical, but a lot of other times I'm just - trying to make dinner, or cleaning the house, or helping kids practice the piano, or wiped out from staying up late at night after the kids are in bed to meet a deadline. It's hard to be whimsical when you're scrubbing a toilet.

So what I'm kind of wondering is - are YOU who you are on your blog in real life? When your neighbors and friends and family find out you have a blog, are they surprised by how you write? Are you revealing new parts of your personality every time you post, or are you already an open book? I really want to know.

126 comments:

  1. Hello. This message is just to say that your blog makes me laugh - really laugh - in a "funny cuz it's true" way. We seem to be similar in many ways.

    As for my blog, it's me through a keyhole. I choose what peak people get. Mostly, I teeter back and forth between weak attempts at full discolsure and complete censorship. I haven't really pushed the envelope yet.

    Jen

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  2. Much nicer on my blog.... still trying to work up the courage to blog my "real" me!

    I enjoy reading your blog! My daughter turned me on to your site.
    Keep up the fun!

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  3. cute blog :)

    and

    yeah...i'm myself on my blog...i ain't witty enough to be anyone else.....

    or am i??? :P

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  4. My blog? Who I REALLY am? Yup, I'm afraid it's kinda boring though (cry).

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  5. I try to be the same person online that I am in real life, although occasionally I come across as harsher than I really am.

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  6. My blog is a part of who I am in real life. Or at least who I perceive myself to be. I think I'm funny even if others don't. I was telling people to check my last post I thought I was so funny.

    I also use the blog to say the stuff I really think that wouldn't be a normal convo with someone. It's a way to be "deep" without making someone awkward and uncomfortable.

    But it is just a part of me, I have no desire for people to see the "real" me. The scared, nervous, easily broken and hurt me. Blogging is better than talking to people, I can edit it and delete things, make sure it comes out the way I meant it, instead of a jumbled mess that makes me looks stupid.
    Since I started blogging, I've stopped talking to people as much, I just refer them to the blog. That's lame.

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  7. Oh Suze, can I call you Suze? I know Elaine Benes doesn't like it.
    I've only recently discovered your magnificent blog and have only read maybe your last 10 posts but I think I know how you feel. When I sit down at my computer I feel like blog Mary takes over and real life Mary leaves to take a shower or buy eggs or something. But most of the people that read my blog have never met me so they can't make a comparison and I like to keep it that way. What would they think if they discovered the truth that I'm really a morbidly obese dog food taster for puppy chow who never leaves her house because puppy chow just sends samples? What would they think?! But people who do know me and my blog pretty much say, "yep that's Mary, annoying as usual."
    Am I making any sense to you? Because I have no idea what I'm talking about.

    Oh and I too come from a big family, there are eight kids all with internet access but not one has ever made a comment.

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  8. Your post really made me think about how I blog and the love hate relationship I have with blogging. I want it to be a place I am totally myself on whatever mood I am in and have that be ok to anyone who knows me and reads it. Most of the time I think I censor myself too much and then I get mad that I feel like I have to censor. Stupid I know, but thanks for getting me to think about it. Probably one of my favorite posts you've done.

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  9. for the most part, who I am on my blog is really who I am...after you get to know me.

    There are certain circles and times in my day that I just can't be "me" and that is ok...when it is MY time, look out.

    I think your blog is GREAT, no matter what side it is of you.

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  10. I could be wrong, but I pretty much feel like I'm the same person on my blog as in real life.

    I don't know, you tell me.


    Then again, I may be even more fun in real life than on the blog, and we all thought that was impossible.

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  11. I liked this post a lot. It's something that I've been thinking about lately. About 99% of the people who read my blog know me in person, which I have to keep in mind when I write. If I feel like writing something that would make my old college roommates laugh, I have to remember that my grandparents and my in-laws are also reading it. In that respect, I feel like I have to hold back when I post. My Blog-Self communicates much better than my Real-Live-Self. When I talk I feel like a valley girl who can't put two sentences together.

    You don't have to apologize for semi-serious posts. The ones that I've read are great and even make me laugh a little despite their seriousness.

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  12. I think my blog is the real me. I don't mask my dorkiness or my belief that my child is extra amazing. Or that I spend too much time online. But since I moved to Utah in December and have made only one friend who has since moved, anyone I have met recently would probably be surprised to know I'm not just shy and awkward, as I tend to be (or at least I feel I tend to be) in recent social interactions.

    I guess I don't "air my dirty laundry" on my blog, but what's there is real.

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  13. I think it's kind of funny that people would expect you to just be rip roaring hilarious all the time. You give a pretty accurate portrayal of yourself on here. You are just really funny while you're describing yourself. You talk about how insecure you are in a hilarious way and people forget that you mentioned that you're insecure, they just remember how hilarious you are etc.

    I think I blog kinda evenly. I would never say I blog like you, of course, :) but I also talk about all different aspects of my life, in a sort of self deprecating, sarcastic way. And I think that's how I am. So I think my blog and I, we are one.

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  15. I think I am YOU in real life! You always seem to verbalize your perspective on the world in much the same way I'm thinking it...I guess we see things in a very similar way (must be why I think you're terribly amusing...I think I'm terribly amusing in my own mind! ;))! I just wish I could actually put down in words on my blog my thoughts with the grace and humor you do on yours!!! You are such a talent!!!! And yeah, I'm pretty much an open book in all facets of my life, even though it can certainly come back to bite me in the butt...

    Love ya, girl! Thanks for making me laugh! ;)

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  16. I think my sense of humor comes out more on my blog than it does in real life. I can be kind of intense about stuff, ready to get into an intellectual debate or shout (pretend) curses at Fox News (my TV is possessed and automatically turns on to that channel so I just don't turn the TV on at all during Bill O'Reilly time as even short snippets gives me hives). On my blog, I'm a little more relaxed, ready to let the laughs out, but I do wonder if people who know me both in person and through my blog see me as one and the same. I know what we're talking about at dinner tonight...me. So the same as usual, I guess.

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  17. Sue, I love you when you're funny...and I love you when you're serious. Most of the time you're seriously funny - but when you're not it just gives us another version of you, which is just as cool. Kay, I'm gonna remove my lips from your butt now. MWAH!

    Unfortunately, I am EXACTLY like my blog portrays me. I really am that stupid.

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  18. I've been told by people who know me that they can hear me in my blog, which is exactly what I want to portray. I want my blog to reflect me and be real.

    I have met some blog friends and I'm actually doing a meet and greet, as most of the people who read and comment are strangers. But, because my blog is humorous, I feel like there is the expectation that everything that comes out of my mouth will be hilarious. Which it is, let's be honest, but it's a lot of pressure. I'm also very modest and humble. ;)

    And like you, I do tend to be a bit more reserved, especially in big groups, and in groups of people I don't know very well.

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  19. I've yet to figure out what people see in my blog vs real life. I do have 2 loyal readers that have commented that they like to read my blog because thats where they get to see "The real me". I'm not sure if they are trying to tell me I am a fake phoney in real life or if they can just see the un-reserved outgoing "me"....

    I might just run a post asking my readers how they feel, and what they see. But no fear, I am a loyal reader of yours and I promise not to use your material and totally give you ALL the credit for the post idea. -I don't particularly like the idea of being stoned by one of your minions.

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  20. I'm a lot like this too. Also, as I've grown up I've changed. I used to be VERY outgoing, now I'm much more reserved. I love that you said you are yourself with your husband. That's how I feel too. He might be the only person who REALLY knows me.

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  21. love this post. i can so relate. my blog is totally me- the me i know. but, in certain situations i am more reserved, so i think my blog may surprise some people.

    but, your's is my favorite blog evah! no joke. and there are lots of blogs out there. did you know?

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  22. My blog used to more accurately represent the authentic me until my sisters started reading it. Now I edit myself a little.

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  23. This is something I've never really considered. I don't really know how I come across in my blog. Honestly. I try to just completely be myself, whatever that means. In other words, I don't censor (except I think I'm way more sarcastic in real life).

    I have yet to meet someone who only knows me through my blogging.

    I started blogging about the time I moved into my new ward, and a lot of the people I hang out with are bloggers who read my posts every day. I wonder how this has tainted their view of me. But I try to keep it real in real life, so hopefully their view isn't too distorted.

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  24. Great post and great questions!

    I too find that I am a different person in different company. I'd like to think I'm more "real" as I get older, but it's hard to gauge how successful I am at that.

    As for how my blogging self compares to my real self - that's a hard one. My ward -- heaven forbid they ever find my blog -- would be shocked because at church I am dignified and reserved, and I'm much grittier than that when I blog. My BFF laughs at me because while I tell her everything, I leave a LOT out of my public blog posts. My husband wishes I wouldn't be quite so honest about some things. My dad is usually shocked by some of the things I blog because he had no idea I feel that way.

    I find that I change my level of honesty in blog posts depending on the story I'm telling. If I've just had a hectic weekend of hosting extended family, I'll write about the funny/mildly annoying stuff and leave the truly aggravating stuff out because it would probably hurt feelings if they knew how I really feel. But if I'm writing about some random spandexed-and-siliconed babette at the gym, I'll pull out all the stops.

    I almost never write about personal events until after they are resolved, because if I write in the moment, I tend to be too pessimistic and bitter and then people worry.

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  25. Yes - and no. My husband, family, close friends, they read my blog and know it's totally me. But people who I don't know too well, I tend to tone my inappropriateness and sarcasm down until I get to know them better.

    This recently came up at church when a girl I didn't know too well came up to me, said she was "blogstalking" me, and goes "I really cannot believe you blog about most of the things you blog about." I always feel like I have to apologize for my blog, let people know it can get inappropriate, but that's all me! Something similar also happened at a friend's shower. I showed up, she told her friend's "This is my friend Amelia who's blog I tell you guys to read!" and they all sat there staring at me, waiting for me to say something funny. It was really uncomfortable, I didn't know any of these girls (minus the friend) and tried to make casual conversation instead - they seemed disappointed.

    ANYWAY. Long comment. I love your blog. And I hope you don't feel like you have to change the tone to reflect something different.

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  26. I think I'm pretty much myself on my blog. I'm probably more fun in person because I don't express myself well with the written word. I'm more of a physical comedic genius (in my own mind). I read funny blogs like yours and try to come up with good stuff but, like you said, most of my life is taken up with cooking dinner, vacuuming, laundry...I don't scrub toilets much though because I use those drop in tablets so I can go a while without having to do that yucky job.

    BTW I have seven siblings. None of them even know about my blog. I'm not sure how internet savvy they are. I'm the seventh of eight so I think this new fangled invention scares some of them.

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  27. I met a fellow blogger once who was open about her feelings (I heard disappointment) about the real life me. I am quieter in person....until you get to know me. My friends would say I'm pretty close to the blog me, most of my family would say that too. I'm a thinker/listener/percolator.

    I don't know...we met for the first time the other night, what'd you think?

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  28. Just like you, it depends who is reading it and how well they know me.

    I have a naturally frowny face, too. There's nothing worse than having a perfectly good day and someone coming up to you and asking, "What's wrong?" And you have to answer, "Nothing - it's just my face."

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  29. The other day my sister told me that I'm really negative about myself on my blog, that's pretty true to real life but I din't know I was doing it on my blog.

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  30. I've only been blogging about 6 months, and my blog's evolved. It was mostly pictures of the kids, then for a while it was just random things I was thinking about. After reading your blog for about 2 hours one night, I decided to try to take a recent experience and find the humor in it.

    Since then, it's become a mix of all that. Pictures, random regurgitations, funny stories, times of weakness and times of strength. I want everyone to know everything about me and still think I'm wonderful. So I don't hide very much. Maybe I should. I sent out an e-mail to several women in my ward, telling them to come look at my blog. (Can you say DESPERATE?!?) I said it'd be fun to get to know them better, but I can only do that if they comment. I know of at least 6 women who've read it, but NO COMMENTS. I know my fam reads it, too, but they also NEVER COMMENT.

    So I feel ya there. I think it's okay that you wear different hats in different settings. That's what makes you comfortable. And it's a lot easier to make fun of your self when you're facing a computer screen, and not a group of co-workers. So basically, what you're doing is just fine. You're funny, and that's part of the real you, and we all love it. But it's okay to be serious sometimes, too. Reminds us that you're still like the rest of us. Kind of. =D

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  31. This is by far my favorite of all the posts you've ever written. (not that I don't love all of them)

    I don't say anything on my blog that I wouldn't/don't also say in "real life", and vice versa, but you can sure get a lot more concentrated dose of a person from their blog. Many people who casually know me in real life tell me all the time how surprised they are by my blog . . . yet the people who know me the best aren't surprised at all, which is a lot like what you said about your husband.

    I usually find it way easier to say the more outrageous stuff on the blog, rather than in real life . . . don't know why that is, but it means that I actually have more secrets from the people I know in real life than from the people I "blogknow". Which I think is bizarre.

    Tricki Nicki cracked me up with "I really am that stupid." I feel pretty much the exact same way.

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  32. Hi Sue! I think we all disguise part of who were are depending upon the situation that we are in. The people who know me the best are my husband and sister.

    I think when I blog I can show a side of myself that some people may not always see. It may shock some people, and others may totally get it. But my blog is place for me to just put it out there and it is take it or leave it.

    I, personally, love your blog! And I will continue to stalk you!

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  33. P.S. It's funny to me that people expect you to be a walking bag of raucous jokes. I think you make it pretty clear on here that you are a bit self-conscious in spite of that marvelous sense of humor. If I met you in person, I'd expect you to be a little quiet for the first few minutes, until you got comfortable, and then get down to the business of being wild and crazy and funny. Like me.

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  34. This touches something I think about a lot: "Who am I-- or who should I be on my blog?" I really don't know the answer to that. But I do know that I started out editing myself because I was afraid of what people would think of me if they knew what I was really thinking.

    Then I started getting more comfortable with what I expressed-- and then I got in big trouble by someone who found out about my blog and didn't appreciate that I mentioned them (anonymously) on my blog in reference to some difficult things I was learning.

    So now I edit myself once again. However, it's easier writing for people who care about me, even though they don't know me in real life, that it is to write for people who know me in real life, but don't care about me and are just watching what I write to find something to be offended at.

    Sometimes it's frustrating enough that I consider giving up and deleting the whole thing.

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  35. Just another thought, but I too tend to be a bit irreverent on my blog, and sometimes I edit a bit, because I know my dad reads, but other times I don't.

    I sometimes wonder how people view me as a church member, but I have to think that people enjoy it, since I get strangers who comment and say that it's refreshing to come across a "real" blog. It can be a tough balance.

    I also have not been really serious yet, as things in my life are good right now. But if I had a blog when I was in therapy, I would have posted about that time.

    I hear from bloggers a lot that they really struggle with a lot of blogs because they appear too perfect and polished and they can't related.

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  36. I tend to be funnier in person. Really. I promise.

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  37. That's an interesting question. I think I'm very much myself on my blog, but sometimes I feel like not reading other's blogs anymore, because I start suffering blog envy, and I wish I had written something I've read. Like when I read your blog for instance. I'm too addicted to blog stalking though, to ever stop.

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  38. I am all me on my blog, but in person I am much more reserved, unless I know you really well. I think most of us have different personas depending on where we are and who we are with.

    I worry sometimes about what people who know me in real life would/will think if they read my blog.

    My problem with blogging is that I really want to be able to say all that junk that I hold in all the time, but I also spend so much time worrying about other people's opinions of me that I am scared to death they will read my blog and think I am some kind of big mouthed fool. It causes me some anxiety.--Not enough to stop blogging though.

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  39. People say "you write just like you talk." I don't know if I should take offense to that or not. Do I ramble in real life and make up weird words? I guess I do. After I warm up a bit.

    All of us are so many different things. I think I struggle with the authenticity of my blog only when I start slanting it a certain way to try to please people and give them what they expect. Funny thing is that when I do that I don't much like the posts myself, and the readership starts to go down. It is when I'm myself, a variety of things: sometimes serious and sad, sometimes silly, sometimes thoughtful and imaginative, sometimes just thinking out loud. That is when people respond, when they feel something, and they say so.

    My blog sways from silly to serious almost daily. I guess I really am both of those things. We all are.

    I actually quite like it when your posts go serious every now and again. It keeps you real, showing the different Sues that are all wrapped up in one RAD package.
    Very cool discussion, lady.

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  40. Someone once told me that I write in the same fashion that I speak. But what does that mean? It means when I am in a comfortable social setting either in person or in web format I am the same. Put me in front of the microphone speaking in sacrament meeting at church and an entirely different person is speaking (and it isn't the spirit of God) it is the spirit of my true nervous disposition. And that is probably the biggest difference between my blogging self and the real me. The real me is very nervous. P.S. What do you do for a living?

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  41. Sarah - I'm a freelance tech writer. I work from home, but a few times a month I go into the office.

    P.S. Put me in front of a microphone and I'm GOLDEN.

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  42. Someone who met me in real life told me that I was the most unique person they had ever met, and someone else I met in rl said that my intense goofiness didn't come across on my blog either. I think they were both compliments.

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  43. I'm myself on my blog because I don't write much for entertainment purposes, it's more for life documentation. This is also why nobody reads it. Except my daughter. So I can't talk much about the kids or anything too serious that she shouldn't read. Which is a little frustrating sometimes. Oh and my father-in-law reads it so I can't talk about p.m.s. or childbirth or breasts in very graphic or specific terms.

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  44. Sue, I could've written this. My experience has been so much the same. I'm only thirty but I feel like blogging has brought my mid-life crisis on early (either that or I'm going to die young). Who the heck am I?

    I think our blogging is sometimes a really concentrated version of different aspects of ourselves. I don't know if there's any blogger out there who in a full and balanced fashion portrays every part of themself. We flit between different versions depending on what's going on in our lives, what nutty thoughts are stuck in our heads.

    I'm not surprised to hear that you're a bit quiet/reserved at first. Probably because I've got this crazy idea that you and I have a whole heck of a lot in common (is that stalkerish/creepy sounding? Hope not.).

    Nobody is just one type of person. We're all a hodge-podge. Blogging just throws that into sharper relief.

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  45. I struggle with the same tension. In some ways, I feel conscripted on my blog, because it's read by so many people who know me from different areas of my life that I am trying to please them all. Or, my opinions will be too involved and convoluted to get into on my blog; for example, politics. So my blog is only a slice of me. I try to make it fairly accurate though.

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  46. I feel like your post was secretly about ME!!! I'm the exact same way. New people, new personality. (Does that make me skitzo?) A friend of mine read one of my posts, and later said to me, something to the effect of, "I didn't know you were so funny!"

    I love your blog!

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  47. This is funny. I have a post like this sitting in my draft queue, but I've been afraid to post, because...I don't want people to think that Beeswax is just a character I play on the internets. She IS me, only...not as quiet, reserved. More quick-witted. You have given me courage to hit publish. Maybe tomorrow.

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  48. Course, now everyone will think I stole it from you and leave me nasty comments like last week with those poor rip-off artists you blog-policed outta existence.

    Maybe I won't publish tomorrow.

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  49. Publish, silly.

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  50. I think I'm basically myself on my blog: Very self-deprecating, an obnoxious show-off when it comes to my kids (they're sooooo smart and amazing and pretty!), sometimes funny, sometimes whiny....

    Acquaintances who know me IRL would be surprised by how open I am in my blog, probably. I rarely say boo to anyone. On the other side of that coin, people who only know me from my blog would be surprised by how reserved I am IRL.

    My family and my lifelong BFFs (my primary audience) recognize me in all my shameless attention whoring / introverted contradictory glory, though. So it's all good.

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  51. I'm coming out of the closet after a month or so of lurking(I commented on an archived post, but nothing recent).

    A few thoughts from this post:

    -I identified very well with all of what you wrote. For me, a blog is a great way to get out all that stuff I won't say around "people".

    -aren't most good writers (such as yourself) very different in conversation than in writing? I don't consider myself a good writer, but I'm not much for conversation, at least not in groups of more than about 3 people, unless I'm very comfortable with those people. At church I'm as talkative as Frankenstein, although that may be in part because I'm a clerk, and no clerk in the history of the church has ever said more than two words at a time. It's part of the job. But writing is another ballgame entirely.

    -Writing is more conducive to not sticking your foot in your mouth, at least not unintentionally sticking it in your mouth. One has much more control over what others "hear" when one writes than when one talks That's why I like blogging so much.

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  52. New reader here, hello.
    I am EXACTLY the same person I come out to be on my blog. Except that I sound funnier in real life instead of angry. Whatever.
    I write about the times I'm grouchy off of only 7 hours of sleep. I write about the times I'm extremely happy because someone commented. I try to be as honest as possible. That's just who I am.

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  53. This pretty much sums up how I feel:

    "It's hard to be whimsical when you're scrubbing a toilet."

    Insert any of the above for scrubbing toilets "rushing to get a kid to violin lessons, or cleaning up someone's puke or hauling someone to the pediatrician or cub scouts or whatever."

    Every time something hilarious happens at our house, my husband says, "surely this is blog fodder" and then I laugh and promptly forget the amusing thing.

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  54. It's an interesting question and one that's pretty hard to answer. I think the blog me is probably pretty close to the real me but that doesn't mean it's the me that most people know.
    But then there's the fact that I probably don't see the blog me all that clearly either. case in point, I'm in the thinker of big thoughts section on MMB. That's neither good nor bad in my opinion but it's not where I would have put myself.
    The "multiple me's" thing is funny because it's so true, I've told Sean several times that when I die in a fiery car wreck or something and the people from work come and talk about me he's going to have no idea who they're talking about. I'm completely different at work. It's not intentional it just is.

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  55. I love everything you talk about in your blog--including this post. I loved the Rainbow Valley post, The Twilight Sucks post, and I wish you lived over here in Butthole, PA with me so I could get to know you in real life. Naturally frowny face and all. :)

    My friends will read my blog and tell me it's hilarious, then say I have "interesting" thoughts. I recently told my mom's group at church that I blog, and when they read it they all looked at me differently. I'm quiet and on my best behavior with people I don't really know, so they think, "Jaci wrote this?" Plus, I think they are afraid I will blog about them. :)

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  56. Anonymous4:26 PM

    I know you from work, and I was shocked when I read your blog. You are so quiet and professional and nice when you are in the office. You would never know that sense of humor is lurking in there. You're not humorless, but you aren't bouncing off the walls funny either. You just seem sort of calm and nice, not that you aren't nice on your blog.

    Considering how dysfunctional the office is, I can see why you would prefer to keep to yourself. The more you let people have, the more they will take, for sure. I'm jealous that you're a freelancer. I want to freelance. Someone let me out of my cubicle!

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  57. i like to think my (very new) blog reflects who i really am.

    and i had the good fortune of meeting kristina in real life, and she is just as real and funny as she is on her blog. (no pressure for your meet-n-greet, kristina)

    also, i linked to your runway review on my blog. hope that's ok.

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  58. so funny that you wrote this today as I was contemplating the same thing... I have come to realize that people who know me through blogging, think I am funny or exciting to live with. In reality I am neither. In daily life I really don't just walk around being exciting. I know I am actually quite boring. But my thoughts? Those things really are crazy sometimes. And that is what the blog world gets to see. And it's nice to have a place to put those thoughts, because I kind of don't think the relief society would appreciate them.

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  59. I relate to your post a lot. I try to be myself as much as possible and sometimes have to pull the reigns in a bit. I crave the comments (especially the ones saying I'm funny).

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  60. This is a great post. Definitely made me think. I'd have to say that the me on my blog is the me in real life. I'm very "what you see is what you get". Like the bf had to learn, I don't always wear my heart or emotions on my sleeve, but I'm very open if you ask me a question. I'm generally a very, happy, optimistic, glass half-full kind of person. It's very rare when I'm in a mood of any kind, it's usually VERY obvious when contrasted with my generally cheery disposition, and bad mood rarely last long. I can even talk myself out of them when I care to. I had a friend once (while we were at happy hour) try to figure out the "inner Jaina". He was convinced that I couldn't always be so happy and positive. The bf (though not at the time) just laughed, because we were pretty good friends and he knew the truth. The other friend just didn't get it. I think he's finally gotten it. I'm very straightforward. I'm about 5, but I can be a mature grown up when the situation calls for it. I live by the philosophy that you have to get older, but nobody said anything about growing up. I'm just a big kid at heart. One of my favorite quotes goes something like, we don't put our toys away because we grow up, we grow up because we put our toys away. That's pretty much me in a nutshell.
    So me on my blog? It's basically me. No holds barred.

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  61. I wasn't quite finished with my thought - my husband drove up and I didn't want him to see me on the computer, AGAIN! Ha! So, I feel I am myself, but myself might be surprising to some who only know me in a church setting, or at kids games, school functions, etc.. This seems to be the same with everyone. And although I am myself, I do still reign myself in at times, and question the wisdom of blogging some things I'd like to blog, as others have mentioned. So maybe I'm not myself after all? Now a John Mayer song has popped into my head.

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  62. I'm a total extrovert, and I pretty much blurt (or type) whatever's going through my head at the moment. So, I think my blog is mostly me, but I'll qualify that with this: The reason I love writing is that I have time to refine what I'm really trying to say, or find a way to say it that's funnier than the original thing I typed.

    Yeah, I totally revise, but it's my blog and I'll revise if I want to.

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  63. I have people telling me all the time that they are surprised when they read my blog. My sister-in-law actually said to me, "You just aren't that funny in real life!" I'm very quiet, unless I'm nervous and then I babble. I'm definitely reserved around most people. But...the me of my blog is the me that I am around my family. My kids know that I am goofy and weird, so my blog isn't odd to them. It's just the rest of the world that is confused. :o)

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  64. I'm pretty open in real life and on my blog. The main difference is that I don't get interrupted on my blog so I can tell an entire Me!Me!Me! story and make as many puns as I want.

    Although...
    I totally relate to the blog persona thing. In "real life" I like to people watch a lot and figure out what makes people tick.

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  65. Great post! I'm waaay cooler in blog world than I am in reality. And you know what? I'm okay with it.

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  66. I say y'all on my blog a lot. I don't think I've ever used that word in Real Life. I think this contradiction results from my long-standing, secret desire to Be Southern.

    Other than that, my blog is the real me. Seriously, y'all. Trust me.

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  67. I'm new to blogging (less than a year) and even newer to your blog. The few posts by you I've read make me imagine a really sassy, funny, fun to hang out with person (that's why I like visiting). But I do realize I'm only seeing the YOU with an audience, not the private you. I'm that way. I change my personality without trying based on who my audience/company is. It's just the way it is with me. My blogging "personality" is a little more ambivalent. On your other blog "Mormon Mommy" I was categorized as SAUCY. I liked that but I'm not that saucy all the time. It's hard for me to really show who I am yet because I'm trying to be part of a community, so I'm still feeling around, testing the blogging community's tolerance just because I consider myself very different from a typical (or stereotypical) Mormon Mommy although not intentionally. I can't help but fear rejection :-)

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  68. There are many pieces of me which, together, make up my whole. I'm shy, funny, quiet, loud, etc, etc. I find different traits just naturally pop out depending on who I'm with.

    That said, my blog is read by all of these different people (in-laws and my family to boot) and I try to do a happy medium. I really feel the need to keep my cynicism in check when I post but, other than that, I think it's okay.

    P.S. I sing along to my tunes when I run so I never run in my own neighborhood. People may say they're not watching but dang if they don't notice when I miss a day...and they don't even know me!

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  69. I can understand what you are trying to say.

    I think I portray myself correctly. I am reserved on some levels... I think it's because I'm afraid if I show the rest of me, the dumb dork or the serious contemplative that I am that people wont be interested. Because really.. like today, I have been having a horrible day, I feel awful right now but who wants to hear about me and my feelings? I often wish I could blog whatever I feel like whenever.. but I think I'm a bit too self conscious. I hope overcome that barrier.

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  70. I wish I knew (to your last question). I've wondered all the same things and, like you, I'm mostly reserved. I speak up a lot in church and I don't mind meeting new people or anything. But in a group I'm not the one who tries to get attention. I only say something if I have something to say. I don't LOOK for something to say so that I can be the centre of attention, like some people.

    I think you feel the need to apologize for serious posts because you've made a reputation for humour. And it makes me wonder when I come to blogs like yours whether this means a blogger can be successful starting out NOW when they don't have humourous posts all the time. The most successful bloggers seem to find a niche. But I'm not a niche kind of girl. One of my readers said to me in an email today: "I have a sense that you are somehow twins, and one of you isn't doing all the work alone. Just a hunch. I've seen supermoms and I've seen Wonder Women, and something isn't clicking here. This is more of a team effort. I think it's very effective." I don't know FOR SURE what he was saying but I think he's recognizing that I sort of have different personalities. (Doesn't every woman?)

    What do you guys think? Can you have vastly differing posts spanning all sorts of topics, if you're just starting out and don't really have a following?

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  71. I think that I am more reserved on my blog (in real life I don't have much of a filter around the mouth and tend to speak my mind to much). I think my blog is a better version of who I am, or would like to be.

    I've met you in real life and I think you are just as darling in person as on your blog.

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  72. Have you ever read this? http://www.notesfromthetrenches.com/?s=one+tiny+glimpse&submit=Go

    I don't know how to do a link but it's a great piece by this blogger about how what we choose to reveal is just a tiny glimpse into our lives. Dude, if I revealed everything, not one of my family members, nor friends, would ever talk to me again. And my children? Hate me forever.

    I am a WRITER. I choose tiny moments and I write about them. It's an art form --otherwise, you might as well be reading about what I had for breakfast and how I need to go to the dry-cleaner's and what my current gas mileage is.

    There are a lot of things I don't understand about blogging but one I really, really "get" is that people only get to see what I choose to reveal and I assume the same is true of all the other writers I read.

    Having said that, I'm much more shy in person than I am on my blog. Which is probably why I HAVE a blog...

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  73. I am the real me that is in my head except sometimes edited. I feel like I can't blog about a lot of things because some people who read don't know my background... and most of my background I can't share because my family reads it.

    But all the dorky, embarrasing, funny, nerdy things are all me. Except when it happens I don't see it that funny I just mostly feel stupid. It's not until I write about it or share a story with a friend that I think its okay to laugh now.

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  74. Actually, I am, but oh mah holy hell - if my family ever read my blog? they would say, "Well, we're not surprised..." I on the other hand, would be mortified.

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  75. firstly, I like real you. I like blog you. The fact that you are one person makes it even better!

    I'm pretty sure my blog does a good job of purveying my personality, even though I really do have a serious and reflective side that I'm not sure always comes out much. But I've often wondered the same thing as you, like "am I putting on a big facade here?". I tend to be a show pony in public situations anyway. I wish I was more like you and got to know people a little more before I put on a whole circus act and exposed them to all my "quirks".

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  76. I completely understand what you are feeling. My husband will often say that he has to read my blog to find out how I really am doing that day. And most of my friends think that the way I write is nothing compared to who I really am. Why is it that we feel so comfortable laying our feelings completely out on a blog post but aren't able to share them with friends we talk to face to face?

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  77. yeah i am always pretty much me, although WHO doesn't spare the readers of our blogs from our pissiness??? I surely put up picts of the girls in their "eh- hem- HOMEMADE- No- BIG- DEAL" Halloween costumes, but did I tell everyone how I freaked out at my oldest while fitting it on her and took it off her, threw it in a corner and told her I would give it to some poor child who doesn't have a mother that makes Halloween costumes! Then marched up stairs and locked myself in my room? No I left that part out.

    and i met you, and despite having NO EXPECTATIONS when I did, other than just feeling cool cause I can say I know you in real life, you were not only charming and fun, but normal and what more can anyone ask??? it ALWAYS takes time to loosen up around new people, on your blog its just you in your head, in society you do have to follow some social ques. You're all good!

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  78. I'm mostly an open book...but I bet in real life people would say something like, "WOW you really do ALWAYS laugh at yourselves...and others!"

    But I can also be quiet, bored, and not talkative...which you probably don't get from my blog!

    I rarely edit my thoughts though...and that is what I write on my blog...

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  79. I try very hard to keep my blog "me." I write about the crap that happens and how I feel about it, like when CPS came to visit and my therapist called me fat this week, and I write about happy things too. I'd give you a happy example but I am at a loss for one given the events of this week. My blog is naturally sarcastic - but so am I. :)

    Also, I have a naturally frowny face too. I've been working on trying to keep a small smile on my face but I feel like I just look even more pissed. Dangit. It really IS a curse.

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  80. Sue, another magic post! I promise if I meet you not to be disappointed.

    I am always me. Not all of me, but always some part of me. Some gripe. Some love. Some joke that only 2 people in the universe will laugh at. Some universal truth that will strike millions through the heart. Something lame. Something exquisite. You know, sort of miscellaneous.

    However, I am deeper than the me that someone at church says "hi" to in the halls. (Aren't we all?)

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  81. I'm actually terrified someone from my ward/neighborhood/city/state/country will read my blog. I think because my blog IS the real me, and since socially I'm sooo good at wearing a mask, people might actually (gasp!) get a real glimpse into my heart if they were to read it. But sometimes, I DO want my friends and others to read it. When I feel frustrated at trying to convey who I am, I want to just say, "Here, read this!"
    P.S. I think YOU are WONDERFUL. And I LOVE your blog!

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  82. Except for the swearing (there is more in real life) it's pretty much the same: I spend more time angry in RL than I do on my blog. Of course, it is a knitting blog...if it were an all-purpose blog the swears and cranky would make it into print.

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  83. Sue, I love your blog! I think I'd like you, too, based on your blog :)

    I'm pretty much my same real self on my blog, but with less typos :) I tend to say stuff without thinking irl. It's one of the things I enjoy about blogging-- I feel more free to be myself on my blog than in public :)

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  84. I am myself on the blog, whenI first started I took so much time trying to post... my post can be funny, religious, sacrastic.... name it.. just as in real life!

    I love your blog, just always hesitate to comment cause you have SO many, I think, does she ever even read these!?

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  85. I am totally myself on my blog. I have "confessions of an imperfect me" that seem to be a favorite among my friends/readers. I like to hear people say that when they read my blog they can hear me telling the story myself. That is what makes blogging so fun for me, I can be me and if people don't like it, don't read it. What's so fun about always trying to sound like life is so perfect anyway, everybody knows it's not!

    I love your blog by the way! It's definitely a favorite of mine and I'm pretty sure we would be fabulous friends if we ever got to meet!

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  86. I read every single comment, every single time :>

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  87. I thought I had this great analogy how blogging is like singing in the shower, but then I decided it's really not.

    But when I know that family, friends or neighbors are reading I tone it down a notch.

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  88. I am me on my blog--I think. I'm just not me in real life. It scares me that people in my ward might find out who I am when I blog.

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  89. I think my blog is "me" - I don't have the energy or PATIENCE to come up with an alternate persona. I've offended friends on my blog, and made my family blush...and that's pretty much how I am. I saw a lot of things to get laughs, without REALLY thinking of the repurcussions. Oops.

    Like today's post - it's my toddler, wearing a pair of my hubby's "for playing sports" briefs. Umm....yeah. TMI much? I thought it was funny, so I hit publish and just TRIED not to think about 100 people seeing my laundry hanging off my toddler's butt.

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  90. On my blog I say the stuff that I am too shy to say in real life. I tend to be quiet but when I blog I can let the sarcastic snarky bits out. I am generally me, just a bit louder, a little less reserved on my blog.

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  91. I think I tell stories on my blog that sound like the ones that come out of my mouth but with one exception...sometimes when I talk I ramble and I find it hard to not wander or to put two sentences together without saying Like, ummmm, you know, yeah that. So my blog is a fairly accurate though much cleaner and easier to follow version of myself...probably cause I can use the backspace and edit after a rough draft, lol!

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  92. You hit the nail on the head... if your husband, who knows the real you the very best, recognizes the blog you, then you're doing everything right.

    I love the blog you, by the way.

    My blog me is a keyhole view of me, just like yours is of you. Sometimes it surprises people who know the real-life me, because I am naturally introverted. Sometimes I feel a "check" about what to post, and then I just don't post.

    But if I were as funny as you I'd post every day. In between cleaning toilets and meeting deadlines and playing with the kids, of course.

    No pressure.

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  93. I've visited your site a couple of times, and this is the first time I'm commenting... I find you to be hilarious! I kinda know what you mean though... keep it up I enjoy your blogs :)

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  94. I have had these thoughts many times. Definitely not the same, but a little piece of who I am on the inside that doesn't always get to come out.

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  95. SO awesome to read through all these comments.
    (my favorite is the anon who knows you from work. That was cute.)

    And I love this post. I've been thinking about it all day. Nothing to add.

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  96. I am. I really am. But the thing about blogging is that it allows me to be an edited ME. I can really think about what I'm trying to say. Use a few big words and chop out the nervous sentences that just don't mesh well with the feel of what I was trying to say?

    In real life? I can't seem to find the backspace button!

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  97. I've been pondering these questions since the tenth grade. I finally decided I'm like a 360 degree arrangement. The side you get depends on where your standing, so on my blog I guess you get my blog-side:)

    I don't think it matters which self is reflected on a person's blog. Whatever we chose to write reflects some part of, and that's valuable all by itself. Even if we show one side one day, and another the next, it's still you - or me, or whoever.

    And never fear - we'll like you either way:)

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  98. My blog is the part of me that would come out all jumbled and hurried and mixed up with backwards words and ommitted words when my brain stops and I'm trying to sustain a conversation. Plus, usually I have no one to listen to me finish a story, and I like to get it all out. I'm sure I'm really disappointing in real life....if my blog hasn't already disappointed everyone that I know.

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  99. This is funny because I've been basically writing this same post in my head for the last couple of weeks. Someone referred to me as "that quiet girl" and I was totally shocked and a teensy bit offended.

    Quiet? Me??? I don't think I'm quiet at all and neither do any of my closest friends, but I guess I am a little more quiet at work and around people I don't know as well.

    Sometimes at work, I will go a whole day without ever speaking to anyone, which now that I think about is really strange as I've worked there for 18 years. I guess I've got so much dialogue going on in my head, I think I'm more talkative than I really am. It's also kind of a strange situation because I only have one other person in the building that I technically "work with", so I don't quite know how to build relationships with people in other departments when they do totally unrelated work.

    I'm much more myself when I'm on my blog and I think I'm a lot more fun and interesting on there than I am in real life. I wish I could just hand out my blog address to people when I meet them and let them get to know me that way, but it doesn't really work that way does it? Too bad no one in my family will ever read it (heavy sigh). I think they'd learn a lot more about me. But I guess I just have to get out of my head and stop being the "quiet girl" and try to be as fun in real life as I am in the blog world!

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  100. When I sent out my blog address to my family, most of them thought Mr. Smith was writing it.

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  101. My truest voice is my blog voice - which is why I always feel uncomfortable when people in real life find out about it. They only hear a tone appropriate to each occasion - mother, sister, daughter, co-worker, etc...

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  102. I have never commented on your blog before, but have been "stalking" it for a while. I love what you have to say. This was a great one. Made me think of myself- I'm like that A LOT!

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  103. "When people who only know me from the blog meet me in real life, they're always surprised that at first, at least until I relax, I'm sort of reserved and quiet."

    DITTO. I'm not sure what they're expecting, but it's never what I actually give them in reality. Sorry, folks, I'm boring in real life. Hooray for you!

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  104. I am your polar opposite. All exclamation points and capital letters in real life (I have yet to leave a party without thinking "Sue, you really need to learn to let others say something once in a while". On my blog I'm more quiet and subdued.

    Go figure.

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  105. The only comment my brother left me on my blog was, "Insanity is what has brought you here." Or something like that. I know it was a quote from that but when you constantly feel crazy, not the nicest thing to say. I cried. So, I'm happier that he doesn't comment. And my other brother, I haven't told him I have a blog because yeah...

    I let it all hang out. In fact, my blog is a personal exercise in "not caring what other people think." Every time I write something and think, "I can't post that," those are the ones I HAVE to post. I am trying to learn and be brave enough to just be me all the time. Boundaries are good and important with some people but I want to be consistently the same person. So, my blog is me, warts, insanity and all. But I have had people who know me in real life express surprise when they read my blog as it was different from what they knew. I also have a much censored and happy all the time family blog which is much different from my personal blog. But my personal blog, that's my heart.

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  106. I think I'd have to poll my true life friends on that, its hard to tell how other people see me because I am always so hung up on how I see me. Does that make sense?

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  107. My blog is just one version of myself, just the one I choose to expose in this medium. I would guess that is pretty common.

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  108. Just started reading you. Can I please be your new mom? As your mom I don't want to actually DO anything - don't ask me to babysit or help you make new kitchen curtains. I will just be around to say dumb things that make you roll your eyes - much like my actual kids. So, tell ne - can I be your new mom?

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  109. I've never seen you actually hit yourself with objects in order to get a laugh, but please do it when I'm there. That would be funny.

    I think Blog Sue is very much like Real Sue, as I know you anyway. You are one of the most giving, thoughtful, tolerant, patient, generous, funny people I can think of. Honest. And I think that shows up huge on your blog. We know you are funny and a great writer, and you give all your readers a boost in their day. Mostly because you are so real and relate-able and witty. And your heart is huge, and that comes through, too. You are the first to help with anything from fighting malaria in Africa to assisting hurricane survivors. And now the blog book for the Nielsens?! You are our wonderful Sue!!

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  110. Wow--you have obviously picked a subject that a lot of people are thinking about! I have been reading you for awhile--sometimes I feel like you been spending time in my brain--it is eerie how those exact same thoughts are running through my head--other times--not so much :0)
    I agree with Marivic about still trying to find my blog voice and I am like mcewens in that I have only commented once because you DO get so many comments--
    The thing I really like about blog land is the validation it can bring. To know that there is someone out there who is feeling/thinking the same thoughts as me empowers me and encourages me to keep pressing forward.

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  111. I'm too conscious of people that know me in real life, but might not be able to understand to post everything.

    I too aware of worry that they could feel if I post every little thought that goes through my head whatever mood I'm going through at the moment.

    But I think overall I'm pretty much the same on my blog as I am in real life. I analyze everything and talk a lot :) In real life - I pause to listen. On my blog I'm probably more forthcoming about who I am - what I like to do and the things I'm doing now.

    The tone of the posts - that's how I think - NOT necessarily how I speak :)

    But there are things that I will always keep private.

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  112. I am more quiet when I first meet people as well, so people who don't know me very well would probably be surprised by the difference between the blog me and the real me. Luckily, no one reads my blog, so I avoid a lot of discomfort that way.

    I love your blog, even though I say (or intend to say) that every time I comment (or intend to comment.)

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  113. Oh, darn! Another half hour has passed! How come you always suck me right in?! There I am, in March or something, catching up. You're too funny is what. (That's probably why you get copied.)

    But anyway, on this topic, I totally hear ya', too. People are always expecting me to be funny/fun (or at least who I am on my blog), but it takes a little time to be comfortable enough to be that person IN person. (Which is kind of ironic - I can be crazy in front of a million strangers - well, not a million, obviously - but not in front of people I might know...)

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  114. I try to be myself on my blog, and I'm pretty sure I come close. However, I have also tried to make my blog "anonymous" so my friends and family don't know it's me (although they probably would if they read it.)

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  115. I loved this post. Am I the "real" me on my blog? I try to be. I try to be a mixture of funny and serious and entertaining and thought-provoking. I had someone recently call me a "liar" and "manipulative." I responded that if that's true, then people don't really know me.

    There are many sides to me and I alternate them depending on which day of the week it is. Take today, for instance. It's Friday, I got paid, our son will be home with us this weekend, and I read your excellent post. I'm feeling totally upbeat! Now come Monday morning and I drag my sorry butt into work ... well ... you get the picture.

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  116. I like to think I'm me in my blog but I might be wrong. My mom said she read it and "who knew [I] was so clever?". Um, thanks. I thought I was this funny all the time.

    Also, I have to censor a bit now since I know my family is reading it. But there's always that side, I think, where people have to present certain aspects of themselves depending on the company they are in.

    I also think that doesn't mean you are not being the real you (or anyone else, either). I think it shows you are an adaptive person and are flexible in life. And I think that's a good thing.

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  117. I'm pretty much the same. Intelligent, hysterical, charming and humble.

    (Look at you, with your 116 comments! And to think I knew you when you would only get 50.)

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  118. I'm so much cooler online. And sadly, I'm not even that cool online. :(

    In real life I stumble over my words and its a real achievement if I can get a coherent sentence out.

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  119. If we met in real life what would I think?

    I would bow down and worship at your feet, oh mighty goddess who always rocks the funnies! (I am insanely jealous of your quick witted writing style!)

    Then I would insist we sing a Karaoke duet together while rolling in chocolate...

    Then you would slap me silly 'cause I have diarrhea of the mouth... and usually say whatever just pops into my head-- no censoring. Ever.

    THEN, I would slink away because I would realize I had made a dork of myself... and become introverted and eat all the food in the house...

    Is that what you meant??

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  120. So, my wife Katrina got me reading your blog, and I wanted to comment on this post. You bring up a very deep philosophical issue, namely who we "really" are (can I wax philosophical for a moment?). And the truth is, we are all a mosaic of who we are in the multitude of different experiences in which we find ourselves. "People are different people with different people." The stark reality is, no one truly knows us--not even our spouses, not even ourselves. That is why the idea of an omniscient God resonates so well--at least SOMEONE has figured us out! But some know us better than others. Admit it--don't you look around church or work and try to imagine what people are like in the most private parts of their lives?

    It would be both exhausting and inappropriate to try to be "fully ourselves" in every situation. That just isn't how we work. Perhaps there is even less of an "us" than we think, but there is the "combination of me and whomever I am with at the moment" being.

    At the same time, I think that some people have more integrity than others, and it is like a complicated dish where you taste different flavors at different moments, but it all goes together, as opposed to the people who try to be a banana split and they are just not. :)

    Anyway, don't know where that came from. Love your blog!

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  121. I think I'm funnier in person.

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  122. I appear to be a day late (and probably a dollar short) to comment here -- and that is definitely the real me. :) It's such an interesting topic, and I wanted to wait until I'd had time to read ALL the other comments first. (I was even tempted to click on everyone's links to their blogs, but that's at *least* a full day's reading.)

    Since my imaginary blog existed in my mind for a long time before I started it, and since before that I used the format of emails or instant messaging to my family to tell all cute kid stories that happened, I do feel like my blog reflects a side of me my family has known for a long time. I think people who know me less well would learn things about me from my blog, but not necessarily be surprised. (I am just guessing. It's very hard to know what people think of you.) I am pretty reserved and careful about what I say in real life (even though I love to talk and talk and talk,) and my blog is much the same. I do think of my blog as a creative writing endeavor, and I do edit it a lot to try to make the writing as tight and interesting as I can within the fairly relaxed context of a blog (and dealing with the time constraints for blogging that real life imposes on me.)

    I think I could actually go on on this topic for another 10 paragraphs or more, but (unlike in real life) I'll make myself stop before this turns full-blown post-length instead of just comment-length.

    Oh -- and I don't expect full-blown humor mode for your every post; I like reading thoughtful ones like this one just as much.

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  123. I know on your blog circuit, my comment is "old news," but I just came across your post today.

    My blog is only about a month+ old. I would say that my web persona is really an accurate version of myself, BUT the reason I blog is to discover the lesson I can learn from the way I really live and really feel.... for myself and for any other reader that might benefit from that same lesson.

    In a nutshell, the blog title is Diapers and Divinity. The Diapers part is totally me as I am. The Divinity part is me as I could or should be. I just try to mix them together in each post. Hope that makes sense. Feel free to visit anytime.

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  124. #124 - does anyone read this far down the line? I feel like I'm taking our blogship to a whole new level by finally leaving a comment. I've been following yours for a while - you know like those really weird, kindof crazy nutcase psycho fans of famous people - but I'm nice.

    Funny you should bring this up. Last night my husband was telling me that he didn't think my blog sounded like me. I went through an identity crisis for about 10 mins and then decided who cares! I like the blog me, I like what comes out of my fingers onto the screen much better than what slips out my mouth in person....most of the time. I think our writing selves are always going to be a bit different than our in-person selves because it's just one part of us.

    **If you actually read down this far, let me know & you'll win a prize (like another comment from me, or somehting from the dollar store...because I'm cheap), but seriously let me know. Do you collect comments like I do symphonie bars? 124 is dang good!

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  125. I think I'm one of those open book kinds of people, but I have to act differently in different settings, so I'm a much more toned down me in a lot of places.

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  126. I just made blog, but I think I'm pretty much who I am in real life when I write. Maybe a bit lamer on by blog, I like to think. But I'm probably much more uncooler in real life.. I don't know.. I just don't seem to talk about the parts of me that are very uncool on my blog.. probably because right now, the only people who read it are two of my school friends, who I'm great friends with, but I still tend to feel self-conscious around.

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