Pin It I don't know why I can't stop talking about this. Something is wrong with me.
I just feel compelled to keep talking. (I get really obnoxious at book club too. They can't shut me up. I always leave thinking, "When are you going to learn to stop talking? Why can't you be quiet and listen? Try to be normal!" But I can't help it. Books make me crazy.)
Here's the thing. I was so surprised by the comments in the posts for the book which shall not be named.
I couldn't believe people thought I wouldn't get the whole giddiness of being fifteen and in love.
They are so wrong. I TOTALLY get that. I just didn't get being fifteen and in love, and also a robot.
Maybe I haven't really shown it on the blog, but giddy romantic drivel? That's not just what I like, that's WHO I AM. What do you think I'm doing when I'm rollerblading around the neighborhood? Thinking about the environment? NO! I'm making up romantic stories in my head. I mean, come on! Don't you know me at all?
I've written something like nine-and-a-half very silly, sappy, fluffy, short little romance novels. I'm the only one who has ever ever ever seen them. But writing them, and reading them, and then writing them some more, and then reading them some more? Was a vastly self-entertaining process that I got a lot of pleasure out of.
Now I'm trying to write an ACTUAL novel, for ACTUAL publication, and true to form, it's pure romantic drivel with a little humor sprinkled in there for good measure. (I tried to write something more important, but I just don't have it in me. Sappy but entertaining fluff, that's totally my market.)
I'm not trying to compare anything I could write to Twilight. EGADS.
The Twilight books are very well written, and obviously millions of people think they're wonderful - they just weren't my cup of tea, for all of the reasons I mentioned in my original post.
But in a writing throwdown? With one hand tied behind her back, a blindfold on, and fourteen monkeys chewing on her calves, Ms. Meyer would kick my kiester all the way to Vermont and back again. I'll bet she even knows how to use a semi-colon appropriately.
When/if I ever get something published, people will read it and say, "What was she talking about? Twilight totally kicks this book's butt. Hands down." And then they'll mock it on their blogs, and I'll cry, and my three remaining fans will try to defend me, and they'll get hate mail on their blogs, and eventually they will renounce me too (because resistance to Twilight is futile), and my husband will be so embarrassed he'll leave me, and I'll end up alone and penniless and begging in the streets and wishing for a nice warm bun, kind of like Sarah in the Little Princess before she was rescued by the nice man from India. Like that. (I can see the future, didn't you know?)
So I'm kind of wishing I'd never, ever, ever said anything about Twilight other than, "HEY, NICE BOOK."
So for the record?