No, I’m lying. This isn’t a funny post.
Apologies in advance to people that come here for a laugh – and I know there are two or three, because I see my name on their blogrolls with the words "Navel Gazing - for a chuckle" or something like that next to it, (eeeek the PRESSURE) and now they're gonna have to update their links to "Navel Gazing - Daily Dose of Depression" or "Navel Gazing - making you want to stab yourself in the eye with a fork since 2007." Sorry about that.
Man, I miss my DH. I've discovered something. All this time, I thought I just grew out of being depressed, magically, when I got married. The truth is, my DH is my anti-depressant. I haven't been depressed in eleven years. Now that he is gone what feels like all the time, I feel myself falling into the blue. His support, his strength, his love, his understanding - they've literally kept me sane for 11 years. Well. Sane - ish. It's a big job. (I miss you hon. Come back soon. Preferably early.)
I know I must be sort of depressed because I've lost my will to email people. SERIOUSLY. That's big. Usually (and my family will attest to this) the second I get an email I respond. My awesome sister-in-law will sit down and write these great, newsy emails to me and I will receive them and immediately write back. I know she probably winces when she gets an email back five minutes later because the ball's back in her court again ALREADY, bwa-ha-ha... But now I have email that's like, DAYS old. That's serious. I haven't started the Christmas letter, and haven't filled out Abby's birthday party invitations. I need to snap out of this.
Dude. I just pounded back, like, five Wild Cherry capri suns in a row and I think I might be a little drunk. I'd better go sleep it off.
Hope you're feeling better soon, Sue.
ReplyDeleteDude. I love that you wrote Dude. I could tell you were out of sorts on Saturday when we talked. I felt bad for pressuring you about Christmas plans knowing how stressed you are. It's so sad you have your man gone so much right now. I really, honestly don't know how you are handling it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that things get better soon.
ReplyDeleteNow, dude, write me back! heehee
I'm assuming you were talking about me with that email thing. if not, don't burst my bubble, allright?
ReplyDeleteI'm so offended that you haven't e-mailed me back yet. I'm probably as offended as you were when I misspelled Abby's fake blog name. :)
ReplyDeleteNicki - oh vaya condeeyos, I thought I emailed you back already. I'm a loser!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Sue. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThis time of year is hard...the weather, the stress before Christmas. It's enough to make anyone want to drown their sorrows in juice.
Cheers! Heidi
I hear ya. Life get's a bit too overwhelming at times, and then I look back at myself, say, a year ago and wonder, "What was she on? Look how 'up' she is!" I can't get there right now, I'm stuck in the "can't keep up with Christmas, haven't gotten over the stress of moving yet" dumps. Just gotta hang on until the sun shines....
ReplyDeleteOn mine it says "stinkin' hilarious" beside your name. Not just a chuckle, but one of those laugh til you cry laughs.
ReplyDeleteI like your serious posts too!!!!
Being cheerful is entirely over-rated! Skip the Capri-suns, head straight for the good stuff. Chocolate milk. Outta the carton.
ReplyDeleteUgh... I've only been married 9 months and I HATE having my husband away. He was gone for almost a week last month and it sucked big time. And we will have a few more days apart next week. I am SO not looking forward to it. Good luck surviving your DH's absence. Also, you still made me laugh with that capri sun comment.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something really insightful to say but all I have is that I hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Step away from the Capri Suns
"sane-ish. It's a big job."
ReplyDeleteSee even in your depression you manage to crack a line or two.
Take the pressure off yourself - nobody expects you to be "on" every minute.
Can you get a babysitter or maybe your VT's to help so you can just get out for an hour by yourself? I bet it would do wonders.
so i'm not the holly you were talking about. crap. no wonder you never respond to my emails. i should probably stop sending them. point taken.
ReplyDeleteseriously, though, if *you* can have an off day (which i still thought was good) then we all can. although i don't think the opposite of that statement is true.
this was meant to be a validating comment. i don't think it came off that way. . . i'll try harder.
I completely understand. I'm already dreading my husband going on a business trip for a week NEXT JUNE. I could get myself in a huge funk if I thought about it long enough. I definitely would not make a good military wife.
ReplyDeletemmm...capri sun...
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother travels away from my dad, he writes lonely, melodramatic letters to assorted people and it gets him in trouble.
ReplyDeleteThis is much better.
It stinks to have your husband gone so much. Stress + husband away does not help my (near) (or perhaps far from) sanity.
ReplyDeleteCheesey though it may be, someone just told me their favorite scripture is "And it came to pass." That's it.
I feel you pain, girl! Though I would be trying to carefully pour vodka straight into that tiny hole in the Capri Sun bag . . .!
ReplyDeleteHope hubby gets home soon & try to do something for yourself while he's gone.
My friend could never leave his wife for more than a couple days because if he did he would always come home to a HUGE purchase like a new plasma TV or new living room set or new carpet. Not saying that would do the trick but maybe something like a pedicure would make you feel fabulous! Plus you'd have pretty toes for hubby when he gets back:)
My husband is my antidepressant too. I know just what you mean.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any conselation, even at despair's door you did manage to be pretty funny.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets drunk of capri suns. Though I prefer Mountain Berry to Cherry.
ReplyDeleteFunny funny!
ReplyDeleteNo really. Fights are so dang stupid. When I relive our fights I think the same thing. "What! Are we twelve now?" Geesh!
But that's the awesome thing about love. We know all the ugly things about each other.
And it doesn't matter.
I'm so laughing, if only because it's like reading my own thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI totally give my husband credit for making me "sane-ish" and giving me perspective.
I often wonder what he gets out of the deal. But I finally realized he's just in this for my mint fudge. It's a pretty equal trade-off.
Dude, if those were cold you would so have a slurpie tumor! How many fingers am I holding up? :)
ReplyDeleteEven when you're depressed you're funny. How do you do that? It's accidental or genetic or something, right?
ReplyDeleteA full inbox is one of my surest signs that I've fallen into the hole again. I get all beatific and joyful when I clear it out after a really bad bout. The bad times make the good times all the sweeter, right?
Or something cheesy like that...
I'm totally going to add "Navel Gazing - making you want to stab yourself in the eye with a fork since 2007" to my blogroll!
ReplyDeleteSee, you made me laugh anyway!
Hope you caught up on some sleep and dh comes home soon!
ReplyDeleteI've been sooooooo busy with making christmas cards, knitting things for gifts, and putting together a "first year" scrapbook for my cousin's baby (shower gift), I've completely slacked on reading blogs (gasp!), and my poor, poor, poor Christmas tree stands there with nothing but lights on, and my house isn't decorated on the inside AT ALL, and I have no desire to do anything about any of it, with all the other things on my "to do" list. I'm such a scrooge!
There's does that make you feel any better?????? ha ha!
Hon, if Wild Cherry Capri Sun gets you drunk, I would so do that right now, except I hate Capri Sun. Got any other ideas?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your blog (I'm a newby) Last night, it had me slapping my knee while LOL. I read the one about embarassing moments and the comments.
ReplyDeleteBut, I also like the more serious ones because I can relate. It's good to know there are other sane-ish people out there.
I like capri sun too but I've moved on to the hard stuff - 100% grape juice straight up.
I know exactly what you mean about the e-mail thing.
ReplyDeleteBut feel better soon already.
Sorry to hear it has been a rough couple of days. It has got to be so tough being home alone with the kids so often. I don't know how you do it. I would go crazy. I hope your man will be able to make it home earlier this week and give you the boost you need.
ReplyDeleteI love Capri Suns too and could easily down a few in one sitting.
Gotta get me some capri sun.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon! It's great that your husband makes you so happy :o) But in the mean time, I hope you can perk up!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband does the same thing for me, just ask anyone in my family.
ReplyDeleteI really need to read the posts in order. I read this one then I started to read the one where you two got into a fight and thought OH MY GOSH, he left her!
ReplyDeletePhew!
Ha! Suedonym, that made me laugh out loud, tee hee
ReplyDeleteum, you're wrong. it actually was funny. very funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you're depressed, that really stinks.
ReplyDeleteBut you know what? You're still funny!
Stumbled over here via (not sure how) and this kinda hit me hard. My hubby's working nights, not even out of town, and dang, do I miss him.
ReplyDeleteGreat entry, and fun blog. I may have to start lurking...
for some reason I don't know anyone really in the mood to do the Christmas thing this year...2007 burned everyone out or something. Why don't we just tweak this holiday a bit.
ReplyDelete