Will You Marry Me Maybe Kinda Sorta?

My husband is out of town – he left me here with the kids and the dog for a few days – AGAIN, and so I figure this is as good a time as any to talk about him behind his back. It's the best way, really.

Taking a page from Kimberly’s book, I thought I’d tell you about his super duper romantic totally impulsive marriage proposal. Like a lot of things in our life, our engagement started off as sort of a joke.

We were friends for a while before we started dating, but once we took that step we clicked instantly and we were in love, just like that, no muss, no fuss. I love you, you love me, no games, no drama. It was awesome.

One night after we’d been dating for about three weeks, we were sitting in his driveway, in the back of his truck, just talking. It was about ten o’clock at night and his mom kept coming to the front window and peering out at us. She wasn’t totally sold on me yet and I know she was wondering if I was trying to corrupt him. In the driveway. In front of her house. While she was watching.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depends on how you look at it), we weren’t doing anything interesting, just talking and laughing about how fast people we knew from the singles congregation at church got engaged once they started dating. Sometimes they got engaged after they'd been dating for only a couple of weeks. We joked around about how it was so idiotic, so very desperate, so very Mormon cliché.

I remember saying, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we told everyone we were engaged? Can you imagine? My friends would die.”

He chuckled. “My parents would freak out. They'd think we were nuts.” He laughed again. “We should. We should tell them that. Just to see the looks on their faces.”

I laughed. “Hilarious. Let’s do it.”

He was playing with my fingers and he said, “Wouldn’t it be weird if we actually got engaged?”

I remember freezing up a little. Um... What? Was he serious? Play it cool. Play it cool. I let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah. That would be really weird.”

He was watching me closely but then grinned mischeviously. “What would you say if I actually asked you to marry me?”

I stared at him, thunderstruck. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

“No!" He said it a little too emphatically and I scowled a little. "I’m just asking you – what would you say if I asked you?”

I laughed. “You can’t ask me that.”

“Why not?”

“Because, you coward, you just have to ask.” I hit him. “Freak.”

“Can’t you even give me a hint, just so I know?” he wheedled.

"No." No way in heck was I gonna tell him my real answer, which was - yes, of course. Despite all of my blustering about fast engagements, I'd marry him in an instant. I knew about ten minutes after we started dating that we were perfect for each other. Perfect. But I couldn't tell HIM that.

“No, you wouldn’t marry me, or no you won't give me a hint?"

“No hints. Geez. Are you a man or a mouse?"

“That's not a very nice thing to say to someone who may or may not possibly be hypothetically proposing to you," he said reproachfully.

“Well, you aren't supposed to ask me like that," I said, exasperated.

“But I just did. So ANSWER THE QUESTION," he said. The expression on his face made me laugh.

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“So you’d maybe marry me if I maybe asked you to marry me. At some point in the future.”

“You’d have to ask to know for sure.”

He kissed my hand. “What if I ask?”

My mind went blank again. “What if – what if you ask? Are you asking now?”

“Hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically? I'm not answering a hypothetical marriage proposal.” The whole conversation feel surreal and we were both laughing again.

“O.k. I’m asking.”

“You’re asking? Seriously?”

“Yes.”

I checked him out. He DID look suddenly very serious. How incredibly strange and bizarre. “Really?”

“No, I’m just kidding.” He grinned again.

I hit him.

He leaned in to give me a kiss. “You love me, right?”

“Not at the moment," I grumped.

"I'll take that as a yes." He pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” Once again, I was lost.

“Go tell my parents we’re getting married.”

I was so confused. “What? Fake married?”

And he smiled at me and gave me another kiss, a longer one this time. “You know we’re gonna do it eventually. Let’s just – cut to the chase.” And he kissed me again.

I never knew the words, "cut to the chase" could be so romantic. I don't think we got around to telling his parents that night. His mom sure got an eyeful though.

And cut to the chase we did. There was a real proposal about a week later, after he’d gotten a ring, but I think of that, that strange little conversation in the driveway, as our real engagement. That was when we knew we were in it for the long haul. Three months later, we got married. And we've been married for 11 really happy years.

(I would never recommend this by the way. If my kids try something similar I will beat them. We were SO LUCKY that it worked out. Because, really, at least in theory - what a train-wreck waiting to happen.)

This is a picture of an engagement picture. My scanner is down. The blurriness is probably for the best anyway. Check out that hair. Did I just go to the salon and ask them to bring out a salad bowl and cut around it? Sheesh. And the eyebrows. And what were we wearing? And why didn't someone tell us to change? Yikes.