So the pressure, it is on, because I want to perform for the new readers before they slink away and forget me. I need to be FUNNY! And CHARMING! And deeee-lightful! But I am feeling like a huge fraud right now, because I cannot think of a single humorous thing to say. In fact, I have the most incredible case of writer's block ever.
I sat in front of the monitor for a solid hour and a half tonight just muttering and hitting my head on the keyboard, because my brain was an absolutely perfect blank. The only thing that kept running through my mind was this: "I am rich, I am rich, I am rich, da deeeeee da deeeeee da deeeeee." (You know, if I'm going to have something stuck in my brain, it should at least be accurate.)
This is not good timing for a mental breakdown because I need to write something RIGHT NOW. Something funny! Or touching! Or slightly amusing! Or - SOMETHING. Just SOMETHING. But the blogging magic - apparently it cannot be forced.
Still, in the interest of providing you with content, I'm gonna give this a whirl. Let me look around, see what I've got...
Oh, I know! You want Halloween stuff?? 'Cuz I got Halloween stuff! See? The cheerleader? She's cute, huh?
Or maybe a princess?
Yeah?? You like that? That's some good Halloween stuff, right there.
Oh - you all - you all did that post already? Yesterday?
Oh. Right. Right. Sorry. OK, well, we don't have to do the Halloween thing.
Ummmm... How about - how about something - how about some touching stuff? About how kids are so cute, and about how there are so many moments, moments that I want to rip out of time, and freeze forever so that they never never change - they just remain frozen in time until one day when I pull them out and hold them in my hand and they start to thaw out a little and --
I just did that one? Really? Are you sure? It's a little different if you think about it, with the, with the stuff about holding it in my hand, and - and --
Not different at all?
OK, then. Moving on.
How about charming household mishaps, that ALSO (bonus) involve potty training?
FUNNY!!! Yes?!! See, with the - with his head stuck in there, and - and -
You think I should have helped him instead of taking a picture? Really?
Oh dear. I'm kind of running out of ideas for - AHEM, I mean, no worries, I will be providing you with entertaining blog content ANY MINUTE NOW. For example, we could do a little thing about, about how I'm getting old so fast, and how yesterday I was 23, and today I'm 27 (OH, o.k., I'm 35, geez), and I swear, in five minutes I'll be 40, then before I know it, WHAM, I'm dead.
Not that either?
Hmmmm..... You sure you don't want Halloween stuff?
P.S. Just in case you were wondering, if you read something old, and find it amusing, it is NEVER too late to comment. Just in case you were wondering if I go back and read comments people put on old posts? I TOTALLY DO. Because I am needy like that.