Friday, November 02, 2007

Pressure

Pin It Oh my gosh. You guys. Seriously. Veronica's post about me? QUADRUPLED my number of visitors. (Not that I pay attention to superficial stuff like page views or visitors or or anything. I am all about the ART of blogging. I would never compulsively check my site stats, over and over and over and over again. Nope. Not me.) I am now officially scared of Veronica - she could squash me like a bug - a BUG I tell you.

So the pressure, it is on, because I want to perform for the new readers before they slink away and forget me. I need to be FUNNY! And CHARMING! And deeee-lightful! But I am feeling like a huge fraud right now, because I cannot think of a single humorous thing to say. In fact, I have the most incredible case of writer's block ever.


I sat in front of the monitor for a solid hour and a half tonight just muttering and hitting my head on the keyboard, because my brain was an absolutely perfect blank. The only thing that kept running through my mind was this: "I am rich, I am rich, I am rich, da deeeeee da deeeeee da deeeeee." (You know, if I'm going to have something stuck in my brain, it should at least be accurate.)

This is not good timing for a mental breakdown because I need to write something RIGHT NOW. Something funny! Or touching! Or slightly amusing! Or - SOMETHING. Just SOMETHING. But the blogging magic - apparently it cannot be forced.

Still, in the interest of providing you with content, I'm gonna give this a whirl. Let me look around, see what I've got...

Oh, I know! You want Halloween stuff?? 'Cuz I got Halloween stuff! See? The cheerleader? She's cute, huh?


Or maybe a princess?


Yeah?? You like that? That's some good Halloween stuff, right there.

What?

Oh - you all - you all did that post already? Yesterday?

Oh. Right. Right. Sorry. OK, well, we don't have to do the Halloween thing.

Ummmm... How about - how about something - how about some touching stuff? About how kids are so cute, and about how there are so many moments, moments that I want to rip out of time, and freeze forever so that they never never change - they just remain frozen in time until one day when I pull them out and hold them in my hand and they start to thaw out a little and --

No?

I just did that one? Really? Are you sure? It's a little different if you think about it, with the, with the stuff about holding it in my hand, and - and --

No?

Not different at all?

I see.

OK, then. Moving on.

How about charming household mishaps, that ALSO (bonus) involve potty training?

FUNNY!!! Yes?!! See, with the - with his head stuck in there, and - and -

Huh?

You think I should have helped him instead of taking a picture? Really?

Man.

Tough crowd.

Oh dear. I'm kind of running out of ideas for - AHEM, I mean, no worries, I will be providing you with entertaining blog content ANY MINUTE NOW. For example, we could do a little thing about, about how I'm getting old so fast, and how yesterday I was 23, and today I'm 27 (OH, o.k., I'm 35, geez), and I swear, in five minutes I'll be 40, then before I know it, WHAM, I'm dead.

Not that either?

Oh.

Hmmmm..... You sure you don't want Halloween stuff?


Sigh.


P.S. Just in case you were wondering, if you read something old, and find it amusing, it is NEVER too late to comment. Just in case you were wondering if I go back and read comments people put on old posts? I TOTALLY DO. Because I am needy like that.



49 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:48 AM

    Hello! I found you thru Veronica yesterday too, and I'm so glad I did - this post really made me laugh this morning. I'm saving your archives to read on one of those days when work really threatens to suck out my soul completely! ;-)

    Have a good day!

    Hilary. (no blog, but i'm thinking of making one just so I don't have to be anon on everyone's comments!)

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  2. Another new RSS subscriber from Veronica's post. Love your posts! PLUS, you're another technical writer. Can't beat that!

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  3. There's no pressure. Because all of us are already 100 percent convinced that you are brilliant and funny. You have us in the palm of your hand. Palm of your hand=no pressure.

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  4. Anonymous7:06 AM

    Hi - I'm here via Veronica's post as well and I LOVE your blog! Very funny - thanks for writing! I'll be back!
    I'm Jules BTW - no blog so I guess I'll have to be anonymous.

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  5. I read Veronica's link to you Wednesday night, and I stayed up from 11:30 to 12:30 reading your archives. I love your blog. I love the pictures too. Probably because my 4 daughters are too old (34 to 25) and my grandson is too young (almost 6 months), Halloween pictures are not getting old for me.

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  6. Hey! I don't quite remember how I found you yesterday - I was doing what Veronica was talking about though - sifting through blogs to find another one I could deem 'bookmarkable'. You win! Bookmarked.. . Definitely enjoying it!

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  7. I feel special since I've been reading you since before the "Veronica post." Now to be called BV. :-)
    So. . . Thomas even has a Thomas bucket. Those Halloween marketers really have you wrapped around their finger, don't they?
    And where are the comments on my blog??? Just because you're all famous now doesn't mean you should ignore your loyal readers.

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  8. I'm here from Veronica, too. Because of the power she wields, when she links to someone, I must obey here and follow it.

    But you are really funny, and bookmarked here, too.

    I would have taken a picture of the toilet seat, too. That'll come in handy when he starts dating.

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  9. I still think you're funny.

    But you probably *could* have helped him a little, don't you think? Poor baby.

    Heidi

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  10. 'obey here' doesn't make sense. Sorry. That'll teach me not to proofread my comments.

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  11. Hey, the way this post started out, I was pretty sure we were going to see a video of your mad tap dancing skilz by the end! Probably a good choice to post the pictures instead. They're darling.

    Sue- you're amazing. Just do what you always do and it'll be great!

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  12. I felt exactly the same way after the first time Antique Mommy linked to me. You did not disappoint.

    I once had a professional association troop through a post I wrote. Scared the pants off of me.

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  13. I am NOT from Veronica, just had to get that out in the open....now I should probably go see who this Veronica person is since she seems to have all the friends.

    But I love your blog nonetheless.

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  14. I feel your pain! The pressure! The photos are adorable and if it makes you feel any better at all, I also long for the comments. It's kinda sad, really, now that I think of it. I'm not sure what that says about me as a person...

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  15. i'm not from veronica either. i found you all on my own!

    and since you're getting famous, i want the world to know that.

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  16. I'm green! (Green! I tell you) with jealousy. But very happy for you and consider myself one of your loyal minions. I get to sit at your right hand, right? Right????

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  17. Hey, I'm needy too. Don't worry about it. And I, for one, think that you did the right thing by snapping the picture before you helped him out of the potty seat. You did help him, didn't you? Or did you run right off to blog about it, leaving him stuck with potty ring-around-the-collar?

    Hey, Veronica? Whoever you are? Over here! I'm the one frantically waving my hand who never gets called on. Stop on by! I'm not as endearingly funny as Sue, I'm more the wry, sardonic mothering type - but, hey, I make myself laugh, anyway. And not just when I look in the mirror. Ha, ha! See? I can be self-deprecating, too. Pick me!

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  18. Wait a minute, did you seriously just go from age 40 to death? Cuz...um...I don't feel that old. I mean, it's not like I just had the Grim Reaper over for dinner. I believe something might happen between 40 and death. Wait, I know. My teenagers grow up and move out. Yeah.

    I would have taken the potty chair picture, too. Then I woulda helped the poor guy. He doesn't look happy.

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  19. Nicole10:19 AM

    I too found your blog yesterday and spent the rest of the afternoon reading through the archives and laughing and laughing. I thank you, but the kids would like to know why supper was so late?
    BTW, our kids are almost the EXACT same ages (give or take a month) so I totally relate! I LOVE this blog so much! Just keep being you!

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  20. This is you with writer's block? Oi!

    I'm a pre-Veronica reader. Do I get a prize or anything?

    By the way, I've read lots of "funny blogs" over the past two years, but I only keep the ones that actually involve...well...sincerity, realness...that sort of thing. Meaning, I like you even on the rare occassions you're not hysterically funny. Although, they are rare. =)

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  21. I must say that you work very well under pressure. :)

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  22. I found you when you found me. Who's this Veronica that's getting in the middle of our love?

    I hear you on the pressure, if nothing else, I find that if I work myself up into a tizzy I will make a good post.

    It's not like I've ever called one of my friends and asked her to go to my blog to see if the stat counter was working. Nope.

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  23. I feel it too, the pressure.

    It's not like I can just be funny on command, I need a catalyst, like an awkward situation or someone I can make fun of.

    I always get a laugh when I come to your spot, I even read them out loud to Paul sometimess. And I even like you when you're serious.

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  24. You made me laugh! Have a happy day!

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  25. My Peanut wore that Thomas costume too, minus the bucket. S'cute.

    I can't remember how I found you -- I think you commented somewhere else I commented -- but it wasn't through Veronica.

    At this rate "Veronica" is going to be a household word like "google." We can use it as a verb, i.e. "so I Veronicad 'sandy shoes' and came up with nothing -- she must be just some nobody."

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  26. laughing...really I am...keep it up

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  27. hey, I like that Halloween stuff, and the potty humor and a little sentiment thrown in - congrats on your award!

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  28. I will be staying up really late tonight reading your archives - you make me giggle.

    Seriously - you are one funny gal. Thanks for all the laughs today. No pressure.

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  29. I also arrived via Toddled Dredge! Had a great time reading your older posts. What fun! I especailly love the name of your blog, a perfect fit! I am a lurker on many blogs and had not really realized how important comments are... Hmmm, yes, I see now! I will try to be a kinder reader!

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  30. Very clever post! You make me laugh!
    Of course I have to comment on the cute cheerleader, princess, and Thomas. Great costumes and I cannot believe how grown up they all look. It has been too long since we have seen you guys.

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  31. Man, I hear ya on the no ideas thing. Only your "no ideas" blog still turns out funny and cute. Mine just bites. Thats okay. I realize I'm not meant to be in the big leagues like you. You're on your way, Sue! I love your little insecure, funny, honest self.

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  32. At least the potty seat would have color-coordinated with the Thomas costume. BTY Sue, have you noticed how much Jake's smile, round cheeks, and little nose look like Thomas'. Maybe Jake was the model. Cute, cute, cute, all three!

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  33. Sue, even when you aren't being funny you ARE because that is the magic that is you. . .plus, woo-hoo on all the comments! you little comment whore you! j/k, you know I love you, right?

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  34. I need to have your kind of writers block and then my blog would rock.

    I'm a fairly new reader although pre Veronica so I'm like Kim and think we should get a price. I think you are a riot.

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  35. yeah, i came her from veronica. but i like it here so, no pressure. i'm having writer's block too. i'm putting you on my bloglines. again, no pressure. just be yourself.

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  36. You ARE funny. It's shocking when you suddenly get WAY more comments - I had the WORST performance anxiety for a while! (but then it was all right.) And your munchkins are cuuuute.
    Poor little toilet seat guy.... what HAPPENED?

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  37. Wow! You're so popular now! I'm so glad that so many others have discovered your fun blog. You can brighten anyone's day!

    You're children are beautiful! But then you knew that already, I'm sure.

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  38. Ohmygosh, so funny! "under pressure Sue" is just as funny as "regular Sue". Don't feel pressured, you are a natural at expressing yourself.

    I read Veronica's post, that was so nice! I feel special that I am related to you & see you face to facve & know you in real life. (I've always been a bragger)

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  39. I am a regular reader of Veronica's blog, but I actually stumbled upon your blog before she linked to you. I had the same reaction to your blog that she did. I love your side bar comment about commenting and your title and your tag line and, heck, I like it all. You're truly funny.

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  40. Hi! Just another new reader here! And now it's past my bedtime!

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  41. Gah! I'm glad I found your blog. If only to leave comments in case your early demise occurs ;) Snort!

    Great pictures!

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  42. I am her through Veronica as well. The kids are very cute and you are very, very funny. I already have you bookmarked so I'll be here daily.

    I do have to admit I'm not all that great at commenting but I feel some pressure here so maybe I'll improve.

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  43. LOVE that potty picture!

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  44. Your children are deliciously beautiful and you? Are just funny!

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  45. i hate blog pressure. i mean what do we feel pressure for, really? we shouldn't. we should just be able to be real or sad or funny or silent, or whatever we want to be on our blogs. and in our lives.

    easier said than done, eh? cute kids always make for good content.

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  46. I for one love the Halloween pics AND think you are terrifically funny!

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  47. Okay, bow. You are the funniest! You get the trophy. I almost fell off my chair reading this one. Thank goodness I found you. This is what I needed tonight! Thanks!

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  48. OMG!!! My 2 year old got her head stuck in her toilet seat the other day! After we got it off her head however my 3 year old took her seat and tried to put it on as a belt. It got stuck midway up his thighs and he walked around like a mermaid for a few hours, err minutes ;)

    I stumbld upon you and you are hilarious! THanks for the entertainment on this foggy Friday morning.

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  49. I just read that you still read old comments. So I am now totally going back to leave all the comments I thought of. Cuz I am sure they are of vital importance and stuff. I just found your blog (a few years late). I am addicted. You are hilarious. Please write forever.

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