Thursday, July 12, 2007

Disturbing Television

Pin It We watch a lot of Noggin around these parts. We have an hour a day tv rule for the kids, but we break the rule whenever we feel like it. Lately, we feel like it a lot. (It's summer.) (Shut up.)

But I’m starting to wonder what the people over at Noggin are smoking.

Some of the programming is actually pretty good. I like Little Bear, except for the episodes where he's having hallucinogenic dreams and flying around the moon. Unfortunately there seem to be a lot of those.

The Backyardigans is a cute show - we even have some of their music on our IPOD. But Uniqua bugs me. A lot.

I never used to mind Blue's Clues really. My son likes it. Then one day my neighbor told me she thinks Joe looks like Pacey from Dawson’s Creek, and that she finds him – hot and now I cannot see him on my television screen without feeling the beginnings of an aneurysm, because - just - NO.

I don’t mind Max & Ruby, but it annoys my husband terribly. Everytime it's on he gets all fidgety, because really, where are their parents? Are they dead? Were they shot by farmers? Kidnapped by magicians? If they aren't dead, why do they leave Ruby in charge of feeding Max, bathing Max and putting him to bed? Are they in jail, hopped up on carrot juice and parsnips?

Lazytown is not right. The puppets are creepy. The music is crazy Swedish disco. Stephanie - is she a Little Person? Because she doesn't age. And there seems to be some sort of inappropriate relationship vibe between Stephanie and Sportacus. The show has successfully indoctrinated my children in the ways of proper nutrition. If I tell Emma to stop eating candy, she knowingly says "so I won't have a meltdown" and if I give her an apple she reminds me that "apples are energy." So thanks for that - - - you bunch of FREAKS.

Oobi is just - - disturbing. (Warning: This link is PG-13. It's basically just Talk Soup showing a clip from the actual Oobi show. It's the Oobi clip ITSELF that is PG-13. We're talking many, many different levels of wrong.)

But seriously Noggin, what in the name of all that is holy is this?

(Update: Oh. My goodness. This is one freaky, freaky world we live in. has a whole section devoted to Lazytown stories. Over 285 of them, most of them devoted to "Steph/Sport" love stories. ???!!!???!!! Words fail me.)


  1. Laughing your a.. off is the BEST way to loose weight, so you rock for keeping up with your goal! I can't stand LazyTown enough to give it my attention, so sorry I can neith confirm or deny the love affair. Backyardigans is my FAVORITE, we need some ethinic education in this white suburbia we live in.
    ANd oh I wish I knew about Max & Ruby, b/c what you wrote is the funniest thing ever!!!!

  2. Yep. Um Hm. That moon-flying thingie on Little Bear always disturbed me, too. Of course, Shortman is 15 so it's been a while. ;-)

    The one that made us all cry though was Papa Beaver's story time. Oh the music!

  3. This is all fascinating; I haven't been involved in toddler TV in quite some time. Scary, scary times to be under 5.

  4. Sue you have way too much time on your hands. Personally I like Puff-N-Stuff... remember that one... they actually called the character H.R. Puff-N-Stuff

    Now I don't know Chanel, but her comment cracks me up... I really love Utah... I love comments like "laughing your a.. off"... if you make someone think it, isn't that just the same as saying it?

  5. Luckily, we don't get Noggin- that I know of. Doubly lucky is that Jules is still in the Sesame Street/Caillou phase of life. (Although where on earth did they get the name Caillou??) I too am disturbed by Oobi, but I've only seen it on Talk Soup. It just seems dirty. Can't see your clip of it, though, the link's not working for me.

  6. Wendy - fixed the link, although I'm not sure if that is for the best or not. I miss Caillou

    Damien - Too much time on my hands? Probably. But, uh, were you taking time out of your busy orphan feeding schedule when you blog surfed over here to leave your comment? Pot, meet the kettle. Also, uh - you've met me, right? I (sorry mom!) unfortunately am not a swearing virgin and don't lose any sleep over making people accidentally swear in their heads. I just don't want a keyword search of A** to have my blog as the first result. ;>

  7. Hilarious! We watch a lot of Noggin at our house and I think all of the shows you mentioned have been on at least once. But Backyardigans and Blues Clues are the favorites here. I was laughing out loud at your description of Max & Ruby. So true, where are their parents? The clip of that monster/tummy song is so funny or maybe I should say disturbing.

  8. so yummy, so yummy. I saw that little ditty on Noggin a couple days ago & stopped dead in my tracks-what in the H*** is this freaky thing?! and it is so catchy! In your head all day!
    Backyardigans is allright, but if I see them on the MOON or at the BEACH one more time I might scream! Can they please make a few more episodes?? That sort of ties in with my only problem with Noggin-they have the same little time filling things all time! Moose A. Moose counting the forks for the number of ants they have at the is always 4 ants & 3 forks!! Some poor kids are only going to know how to count to 3 or 4!
    We also have a hour of tv a day rule, a show in the morning & a show in the afternoon. I kind of bend the rule when I need to also.
    I feel like green beans

  9. I am so glad Chanel is a faithful visitor of your blog. she's my favorite.

  10. Hey Holly, here is my evil deed for the day: Sing it with me: "But I don't like candy corns, no I don't like candy corns..." How many times did they play THAT one - 712? I would be at church, or at book club, and I'd be humming that infernal song.

  11. Damien,
    Chanel isnt from Utah, but she can kick your A...

  12. SUE! I didn't know you had a blog and then Wendy mentioned it the other day and thought how I'd missed out on so much! I can't wait to read it all! I can't at the moment as I am simultaneously typing this and trying to prevent Aidan from pushing any series of buttons that will make my computer explode.

    We LOVE Backyardigans!! One of Aidan's favorites. Uniqua bugs me too. Mostly because it sounds like she has a cold when she talks. Blues Clues weirds me out. I can't quite put my finger on why, though. And the more I watch these kid shows with live actors I have to ask myself how much these people hate their lives. Especially the Doodlebops.

  13. That is hysterical! I personally like TOON Disney....they play all the old ones that I used to watch. Rescue Rangers, Tale Spin, the original Mickey Mouse ones. I still think all of these are pretty tame next to Boobah!

  14. i love how much confrontation i give to the hutching family! sorry guys! but thanks for the vote of confidence holly!

  15. ha! 712th time's the charm

  16. Sue,
    I loved this post! I have been off of the Noggin channel for years now, but have recently started babysitting my friend's kid and I have found myself saying What the heck is this?? Now, Brooklyn watched Teletubbies, so not any better! A few of the shows I watch and I like, preparing me ya know. I love that the Backyardigans because they are all so ethnic! haha But I have one burning question that I have asked Holly multiple times, now there is a show - the pets that save other pets...the name slips my mind at the moment anyway they have the cutest theme song that I will sing for day....ok back to my burning question - there is a turtle who is one of the hero pets - has anyone ever noticed that the turtle puts his swimming shoes on before going swimming?? Why? He is a turtle. Drives me nuts and confuses me.
    Thanks for the always entertaining blogs!

  17. You're talking about "Wonder Pets". We like that one too. :)